Yesterday was junior high school registration for incoming seventh graders. I'd be remiss not to high-five the staff and give them their props for running such a finely orchestrated event. No crowds. No muss. No fuss. Way to go Mustangs! And I apologize for the disorganized chaos I had built up in my imagination. Previous experience with similar occasions colored me cynical. My bad.
Once home, Boy-Child#1 put his student ID card in his wallet [Him: "It's like a drivers license!" Kind of, Kiddo, except for the driving part and don't try to use it to buy smokes and hooch, McLovin or I'll be McBeatin' your ass] and then familiarized himself with the school rules and regulations. He's got the dress code down since he's not really one for gang insignia or wearing the waist of his pants around his knees (yet); and knows to leave the weapons at home except for perhaps sweaty gym socks that may be classified as lethal. And also thinks that suspension doesn't sound like much of a punishment. I assured him he'd be sorry if he was forced to miss school for his behavior. And reminded him also that detention was no Breakfast Club, so don't go getting any ideas [I'm looking at you John Hughes. You made that shit look fun].
I perused the provided literature and came across a form that I'm telling you right now WILL be filled out and returned before the "October first due date to be valid for the current year", and was kind of stuck in there between the school schedule and low-income meal ticket application like "oh-yeah-hi-by-the-way-maybe-you-won't-see-this-I-hope". And that is the Directory Information Exclusion Request. What is that you wonder? Let me show you it:
I herewith (fancy words for DUDE, I mean this! It's very Shakespeare you know.) request that directory information (name, address, telephone number, date and place of birth, sex, major field of study, participation in officially recognized activities and sports, weight and height of members of athletic teams, dates of attendance, degrees and awards received and the most recent previous public or private school attended) on the above named student be withheld from agencies such as those listed below.
- List of graduate names in local papers (eh, not such a big thang)
- Armed Services Recruitment Officers
- Public colleges, universities, community colleges
- Private colleges, universities, trade and technical schools
- Selective Service
- Community agencies
Isn't a career in the military something he should decide on his own? Like, as an adult, and certainly not by his mommy? I'd no more submit his name to that than I would to a fortune 500 company with a sticky note that states: FYI, he's 11 but you're gonna wanna stand up and take notice of him, trust me, thanks bye.