Monday, April 13, 2009

If I'd Stayed an Extra Week I Might Have Come Home to Hardwood Floors Too

The kids and I spent the week leading up to and including Easter, in Virginia visiting the most awesomest brother ever to have lived in the history of siblings. This left Mr. Farklepants to his own devices - where own devices equals spoiling Tootsie like the pretty pampered princess that she is. When many women describe romance they use words like: flowers, candlelit dinners, strolls on the beach at sunset, jewelry, and spooning. Meh, say I. One word that sums up the true meaning of romance for me is: consideration. So when Mr. Farklepants, in my absence, took it upon himself to replace the tires, windshield (that met the business end of a sandstorm on the drive home from out of town one sunny afternoon and was left with a severe pocking), floor mats, complete detailing inside and out, and any scuffs, dings, and scratches magically removed from my car; well, is it any wonder why I had the sudden urge to throw caution to the wind and want to strip nekkid and roll around on him right there in the Bob Hope airport parking lot? You understand what I'm saying. My car was all: sheeeeen sparkle sparkle!

But wait. There's more. David Copperfield Mr. Farklepants had another trick to pull out of his magic hat. He reached in elbow deep and pulled out one of these:



As many of you may remember, our dog and loving family member for thirteen years, Baby passed away on January 19th. It was many weeks before we were even able to discuss the possibility of adopting another and we finally decided that we would resume the conversation after our vacation, because there was no sense in bringing home a new puppy only to leave her for a week. Did you catch that? Resume conversation. Converse. Talk. Discuss. So imagine our surprise upon returning home to find that little ball of fluff, tumble, and cute sitting in the middle of the living room floor!

It turns out that Mr. Farklepants' coworker knows a guy, who knows this guy, who has an ex-wife, who has this daughter, whose daughter has this grandmother who has this dog that had a litter of black lab puppies. And this daughter of this grandmother happened to be passing through our neighborhood while we were out of town and brought the two remaining puppies with her. And Mr. Farklepants swooped up that bundle of perfection to surprise his family.

Vintage Thirty will pause for this moment of awwwwwwwwwwwe...

Now, put five people together in a room to name one puppy and oh. mah. gah. I'll spare the tales of bloodshed and woe.

You've been introduced to Phoebe Farklepants. AKA, blogfodder for years to come.

33 comments:

Jennifer S said...

Give me consideration over flowers and candles any day. Mr. Farklepants is a very good man.

Your puppy is totally awwwww-worthy.

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

AWWWWWWWw....Phoebe is so cute!!! And yes, blog fodder would have been an excellent alternate name. ;)

I'm leaving town in a few weeks for a weekend...maybe I will direct my husband to your blog...

As Cape Cod Turns said...

I could barely get past the clean, sparkly car! Consideration will get you places baby!!!!

And Phoebe, so incredibly CUTE!

Suburban Correspondent said...

Now, if he had managed to housetrain it while you were gone...

molly said...

And Puppy/Dog stories DO make the best tales!

Looking forward to EVERYONE of them!

Burgh Baby said...

Hello, Phoebe!

You have just summed up all the ways my husband could ensure that he would NEVER AGAIN get laid. I love cleaning my car, and much prefer that the husband-type leave it alone. The same husband-type has a bad habit of bringing home animals without permission, and I've threatened to permanently alter his manhood if he ever does it again.

Amanda said...

GAH! You should have popped in for a visit last week!

Phoebe is adorable as hell. I can't wait to read her antics. For my own enjoyment I'm hoping for some Marly-esque antics. For your sake I hope not.

Karen said...

What a sweet hubby you have....he's a keeper.

Laura said...

Phoebe is a cutie, and I can't wait to hear her adventures!

The Mother said...

Nah. Hardwood floors take two weeks. And they're messy. Really messy. Dust everywhere. Even places where you didn't think you could get dust.

smalltownme said...

Phoebe Farklepants = adorable.

Kimberly Wright said...

Very cute puppy!

calicobebop said...

Such a cutie pie! I can't wait to hear about her antics.

Martha@A Sense of Humor is Essential said...

Congrats on the new puppy, so beautiful!!!
A clean car?!? What is that??? You are so lucky, Tootsie.

Baby Favorite said...

Oh, she is darling! I have a soft spot in my heart for labs. I have a yellow one that I almost like better than my kids.

jean said...

Great, now any chance I ever had to steal away Mr. Farkelpants is gone!! He is soooo perfect and you're going to want to keep him. Damn.

Anonymous said...

Awwwww...for cute! :)

Swirl Girl said...

oooh - can I have one of those?

The considerate husband, I mean - no the pup.

he is cute though, the pup, I mean.

Karen said...

Awwww, Mr. F gets brownie points for years to come for that. Until Pheobe leaves a few brownie points of her own, of course.

Tiffaney said...

Phoebe Farklepants! I LOVE that name!! ;) Congrats on the wonderful family addition, she's adorable.

Anonymous said...

Phoebe is adorable!!
It must be "adopt a dog week". You'll have to ready my blog about Roscoe.

Stu said...

Good job Mr. Farklepants. I like his style. I have hardwood to install this spring ;)

-Stu

Glennis said...

Ohmygod. He detailed your car AND got a puppy?

I am dying with envy.

Maybe my problem is that I'm letting HIM go out of town, instead of going out of town myself.

katydidnot said...

yippee.

Unknown said...

congratulations!!

MommyTime said...

Love the name. Also love any man who gets that cleaning out his wife's car is a serious aphrodisiac. My husband figured that one out all on his own by accident.

The Girl Next Door said...

Oh WOW! Man-Jackpot, that's what you've hit. enjoy

cactus petunia said...

Congratulations!

Blog fodder is right. I had to start an entire NEW blog when my two knuckleheads came along!

check out http://dietaryindiscretions.blogspot.com

If she's a lab, you'll soon become well acquainted with that term!

JCK said...

Adorable. Mr. F and all.

Timi said...

Cute cute cute!! Makes me want to run out and get another furry kid!

I once came home to new molding in my living room. Apparently The Hubs has never recovered from my expressing my gratitude, he has never finished another project to this day or detailed my car! Your one lucky woman!!!!!!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Just stopped over to read your blog via Amomtwoboys. I lost my last dog last July. I recently felt the need for a new dog. After 37 years we had 8 months without a dog. Anyway, she is a Skye Terrier and her name is Skye.
She is just turning 4 months and we start puppy lessons this week.
Good luck with Phoebe....

yellaphant said...

AAH SO CUTE I WANNA EAT IT UP

stephanie said...

Super awwwwwww.

My kids are trying to convince my husband to "surprise" me with a dog this summer.

What a fantastic man you have - mine does the same home/car improvement stuff when I'm away and I so love it.