Thursday, September 11, 2008

If There is One More Meeting About It I Might Get Snarky. In Public.

I've got to get this off my chest. It's something that has been bugging me since my first experience with it, and frankly, I think it should be stopped. As a matter of fact, I don't know when it started because I'll tell you this: It didn't exist when my little brother played in the Little League. That's right; I'm talking about after game snacks. Back in my day if you worked up an appetite in an hour's worth of running, tagging, sliding, catching, and maybe four up at bats [if you didn't strike out] and a whole bunch of bench sitting; then you hit the nearest concession stand post-game or ate when you got home. Or, for those with money to burn, there was a restaurant with your name on it somewhere en route to your house. We were poor so eating out was a huge treat. And rare.

This whole snack obsession has gotten out of hand. There's a whole schedule and each family has their designated day. And ohmygod if you're going to miss a day could you please set it up with another family and possibly trade days because holyshit we can't have a game unless treats will be served afterwards and dearlord when one family is saddled with the snack and another with the drinks and then that one family is going to make the game but heavenstobetsy the other will be out of town that day WHAT WILL THE CHILDREN DRINK THE POOR DEHYDRATED DEARS THAT HAVE BEEN GUZZLING BOTTLES OF WATER THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE GAME what of the children?

Then one family wants to be the Joneses that everyone is trying to keep up with and bring fresh from the bakery donuts. So that other mom brings homemade cupcakes with the team logo on them the next week because who the hell do the Joneses think they are anyway...and...wtf? Who brought fruit snacks? how embarrassing....losers.

What's that you say? Some parents are concerned about sugary snacks?

I'm sorry, did you say something else there? Little Jake is allergic to soy? Jill is allergic to tree nuts?

Did you really just suggest fruit as an alternative? You want me to slice up a melon and hand this out?

No, no. I'm aware that I should also consider that siblings will be at the game and that if it wouldn't be too much trouble to please have enough on hand.

Problem? Me? I'm sorry, it's just that well, not that I want to be the voice of reason or anything but have you BEEN in the produce section lately? Did it even occur to you just how much twelve or more apples would cost? Why don't I just buy them all a Lexus and be done with it?

You mean eliminating the snack altogether isn't an option? Wow, do I ever feel foolish. I apologize for my moment of clarity.

And then there's the team mom** who's been tasked with setting up the schedule and bless her heart for volunteering because she's trying to please all of the people all of the time and only pleasing some of the people some of the time....because there's always that one. That one mom who didn't bother to volunteer to BE the team mom but she's perfectly happy to tell you how you should do it and consequently how you're doing it wrong. And follows up every criticism with a "it's just a suggestion" and a sticky smile. And you try to smile back but it conveys your message perfectly. Which is: Please die it's just a suggestion.

I feel the same way about after game snacks as I do about every team and every child getting a trophy. It's ridiculous. Trophy? Earn it. It builds character.

Seriously, I just want to watch my daughter enjoy playing soccer. If all your kid wants is a trophy and a pack of Ho-Hos then make that happen. Leave the rest of us alone.

Remind me sometime to tell you how I feel about birthday party goodie bags.

**contrary to what may have been conveyed here; I am NOT the team mom. I did that once and let me say this: it will be a cold day in hell where I'm impaled on a satanic icicle before I ever accept that challenge again.

98 comments:

calicobebop said...

Oh dear. Now I'm frightened of soccer moms. Maybe Muffin will pick up a less dangerous sport. Like hockey? Maybe?

1blueshi1 said...

heh, I remember those days. it was the same with Zac's peewee soccer team when he was like, four. and also with CUB SCOUTS two years ago. the snack sickness is spreading. like the Ebola virus.

~annie said...

There there, now. How 'bout a pack of ho-hos or maybe a piece of melon? You'll feel better.

Well said!

O'Neal (The woman in charge around here) said...

I sit anxiously awaiting the goody bag opinion!!!! Let me just go ahead and say we have NOT passed any out since, well, either of my kids first b-day's! Our birthday parties consist of every old & young person related in any way to us and on top of the buffet style spread I put out, I think it is fair enough to call it even by the end of it all.

Last night, I was enlightened by another Mommy about Libby Du and their mini model makeover "parties". I all but hyperventilated thinking someday my pretty pretty princess will catch wind of that! It's like Build A Bear but on a platinum card!

Madame Queen said...

THANK YOU, TOOTSIE! Can I just tell you how much anxieity it gave me to come up with the appropriate snack when it was our turn. When I played little league, I believe the LL association payed for us to have Cokes (I know, Cokes!) after the game. But snacks were our own responsibility!

Krista said...

A big HELLO here! I've done it all...from PTO fundraising to softball team mom, class mom, etc. & it has gotten so out of hand! I believe that SOME of today's Mommies push their inferiority through their kids & so they always have to be bigger & better. I have always agreed with earning trophies. Why try? According to today's theory ya get one whether you're first of tenth. Nice motivation for our children. Don't try so hard Jimmy, you'll still get a nice reward. Sally! Slow down honey...skills don't matter, you'll still receive a trophy! Oh I can remember "back in the day" when you tried so darn hard to win and you simply enjoyed it because it meant so much knowing that hard work truly pays off. And then parents wonder why children are so out of shape and motivation these days...hmmm...

Karen said...

I'm with ya. Too bad the Joneses just won't stop!
I ordered pizza for our last sports snack day. Easy peasy, and with a coupon no more $$ than fruit and the kids LOVED it!
In my opinion the worst part about the "trophies", where the hell to store them all?! Pete forbid we ditch them!

Nut Nut said...

My son is too young for being on a sports team, but you just validated every reason why I'd rather him be a geek and like to read books all day, every day.

However, based on how he is now at 19 months, I don't see that happening.

Let's make everything a party! Whoohooo!

Autumn said...

Holyfrigginmoley...I'm so with you on this. We have the parents that bring every kid a pack of Cheetos and the other parents that will bring organic-no-preservative somethignoranother then the other ones that might as well set up a buffet line.

Rememeber the days when the coach would just bring the big cooler with the spout and we'd drink, ya know, water.... from like, cups and stuff? Then you left. The end.

Ah, what a world that was.

Manic Mommy said...

I could post a whole 'nother rant on the new rules regarding sanctioned snacks, birthdays, birthday invitations, goody bags, peanut butter, the peanut free zone, and people that may have touched or looked at a peanut ever.

Here's an idea: Send your kid with what you want them to eat. Teachers, don't let kids share.

Gimme a break; they're five.

Nelson's Mama said...

My daughter is playing U12 soccer and this NONSENSE still goes on!

This coach wants fresh orange wedges at half-time!

Hello, what's wrong with driving YOUR child through Sonic after the game?

All Adither said...

Our culture is way too food centric. And we're passing that onto our kids. I DETEST classroom birthday treats. Mostly because my son can't have them due to severe food allergies, but still. Bring in some cute pencils or stickers to pass out. Or anything other than the sugary cupcakes that no one needs at two in the afternoon.

Andrea's Sweet Life said...

What IS up with that? I mean, is it supposed to be so that you "only" have to worry about it that one day?

Personally, I'd rather bring snacks for my OWN kids, than have them eating what other people bring. Sugar? Please don't. Corn syrup? Also, no thanks. My kids are very sensitive to it.

Indy said...

So agree. I hate the snacks and always have this fear that I have forgotten mine. I leave an extra 12 in the car all season. Who started this and how do we get rid of it????

Autumn said...

I literally just got this email - "I would love to still bring something for the kids. Please let me know when and what I can bring for after the game snacks."

Sigh.

Allison said...

Oh Tootsie you are too funny. I love to read what you have to say each day. "Contrary to what may have been conveyed here" you're pain doesn't bring me happiness, rather your writing makes my heart smile.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh!!! I'm riding that bus with you! Thank God my 9 y.o. is finally on a soccer team where the coach & his wife feel the same way - no snack, no drink sign-ups. And about those stinkin' participation trophies...Mike Smerconish who authored a book "Muzzled" has a whole chapter dedicated to just this subject.
I'm done my rant and am off to remember those who lost their lives seven years ago and since.
michelleb.

Lisa Milton said...

I've been to that same meeting. The drama over snacks - what about the half-time snack *should be fruit slices, preferably oranges* - makes my eyes bleed.

It's an hour. Maybe two.

Some moms combined the birthday party goody bag with the snacks and completely Jones-ed all.

Like my husband says all the time: Common sense isn't common anymore.

Sue said...

Can I bring this article to my girls' soccer teams? They have sign ups for snacks for 1/2 time AND after the game. Thank God obesity is not a problem in America.

Kim said...

We have to do that for soccer half time. Most parents just bring popsickles or freezies - on our turn I cut a huge watermelon. Don't like it ...tough. The kids bring their own water.

Anonymous said...

I am so with you. I don't mind the snack as much as the "Joneses". OMG during t-ball each snack got progressively bigger and more elaborate. The last one was favor bags for each kids with candy, toys, ect- along with cupcakes at the Pizza Party (all produced by the same person on the same day). Jeesh! Now it is soccer and we brought the snack first- granola bars and gatorade for each kid. I'm just waiting to see it get out of control!

EatPlayLove said...

I agree, I will print this out and present it at the next group sport I sign my daughter up for!

Amy said...

I don't mind the snacks too much but I do think the half-time snacks are taking it too far. And of course the fact that you have to have enough for the siblings!! Go play your own sport and get your own snack!!

Timi said...

I don't have any kids but it totally stresses me out to see friend with kids trying to keep up with all this stuff. Another reason it was probably best I didn't have kids.
Thank you for being the one to SAY IT! You know we all think it. I'm sooooooooo going to forward this blog entry to EVERY mother I know!
Thank you Tootsie for putting it out there!

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

Tootsie, it would be impossible for me to agree with you more. HOWEVER, I AM THAT MOM THAT BRINGS A $2.50 BOX OF 12 FRUIT SNACKS FOR THE 12 MEMBERS OF THE TEAM AND THE BOX OF 12 JUICEBOXES FOR THE 12 MEMBERS OF THE TEAM, becuase, fuck em. The whole thing is stupid. If I want my kid to have a snack, I can pack the damn thing myself. That is what I call PARENTING.

Ugh. You got me started.

KEEP BELIEVING

barbra said...

OMG. That ONE mom. AAAGH!

You have hit the nail on the head. In a most amusingly-written way, of course.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

I love this. I was so embarrassed for the kids when I realized at my daughter's first end-of-season party that each and every child would be presented with a trophy. And applauded. What? For doing something fun? I do not get it.

Steph said...

AMEN SISTAH!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

You speak truth, Madam. I salute you from the sidelines by the Wisconsin dugouts. Well writ.

Live.Love.Eat said...

Oh.My.Gosh! You have me scared out of my mind for when this day comes for my 5yo. I so wish I could take something that annoys me & go on like this so hysterically!!!! Please do tell us about goodie bags, and oh, how about people not RSVPing for your child's bday party. That's what's got me in a huff right now.

Anonymous said...

YOU GO, GIRL!! My kids are handed a snack or prize everywhere they go--soccer, the bank, a haircut, after swim lessons. It's crazy! As the mama of a child with a life-threatening nut allergy (believe me, people--I live it every day--it drives me more crazy than it drives you!!! And-I know it drives you crazy.) it complicates life when they get a snack or candy everywhere they go. Even for non allergy kids: they eat it in your car, they eat it right before supper, they melt down because they didn't get the color they wanted . . . oy ve. :-) Lynn

Swirl Girl said...

BRAVO MS. Farkelpants!

I am the team mom, and I brought little baggies of orange slices and waters for the whole team and siblings....

some parents actually 'tsk'ed me. Like what was I supposed to do? Get a 6 foot sub and chips and sodas for the whole gaggle of 4 and 5 year olds and their siblings and parents? How about a 12 pack of coronas and some beer nuts?

Give your kid lunch before the game. Bring your own water - and if you don't like my snacks...Chuckie Cheeses is around the corner.

georgie said...

LOL...yep everything you typed is sooo true I am glad the beans have moved up to school sports now...where your lucky IF you get a water break... only sissy's need water...what you gotta pee-well pisss in your pants... yep thats what I now hear Thank Gawd the coaches only care about winning

fairytalesandmargaritas said...

Oh, I agree. And the thing for siblings REALLY chaps my hiney. I have four kids, but I don't expect the other three to partake in snack if they didn't play! Yet, when our turn to bring snack comes I've got all these extra kids. And I tell them no. And one mom yelled at ME! Anyway, our Little League has a concession stand and after the game each player can go pick one $0.25 snack to get for free. Works for us!

AGSoccerMom said...

I am one of those suckers that always volunteer, well this year I am on the board and I am in charge of TEAM MOMS & DADS, and during orientation I told all of them to cut down on the bags. Give water, no more than 2 items in the bags.
Because there are families that can't keep up. Did it work, HELL NO. First day of snack our teams bags were filled up, plus fruit at half time. Seriously what happened to actually being hungry for lunch or dinner. Thanks for this post.

Mrs. G. said...

I am so over the notion that children need to be praised for everything-rewarded for everything. Over it.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Sometimes it frightens me how alike you and I think.

Mr Lady said...

Oranges. I always and only bring oranges. Period.

PS: In 10 years, I've never once given away a goody bag at birthday parties. I invited you to the party. I throw a good party. Enough is enough.

Mr Lady said...

Also to add: I coached my kids little league team last season. At the end of the first game, a couple of the kids came up to me and said, "Hey, where's my snack?" I said, "Hey, you're hungry? You should have eaten before you got here. Maybe next game, your mom can bring you some food." Right in front of all the parents.

Yes, I am that bitch, thank you for asking.

Moi said...

Oh, Tootsie, thank sweet baby jeebus someone else feels this way.

My daughter is now on a team that doesn't believe in snacks. And there was rejoicing throughout the land.

Marcy Writes - The Glamorous Life said...

Okay one thing to google or youtube:

Everybody loves Raymond- Debrah refuses to bring snacks off the approved list.

You are not alone my friend. STOP the INSANITY

"But what about the children?"

apathetic bliss said...

Oh...I love this one and I am sure we share the same philosophy on goodie bags too!!!!

The Stiletto Mom said...

You? Are now my personal hero. We had one mom who brought a DECORATED little red wagon with a juice bar and fruit cut out like stars. The best part was the lecture while she handed out the snacks on how this was all organic and you know, "not processed carbs". I run from her when I see her now.

MommyTime said...

OMG Tootsie, you crack me right up! I am laughing out loud, and my kids aren't even old enough to be on teams yet.

And I feel the same way about goodie bags filled with dollar store junk that no one wants anyway. Sort of like wedding favors that consist of a stinky scented votive candle in a holder etched with the couple's name on it, like I'm going to display that on my mantle with its one tiny lonely flame and weird blue-ice tinge that doesn't go with my green walls. Just say NO altogether to the Excessive Stuff Bandwagon.

*end of rant* Sorry.

Mama Dawg said...

I'd say "Eff you" to everyone. My philosophy is, if you can't make the meeting/game/dance class/practice/etc....don't come. No one's gonna miss you and your kid won't die if he misses one or two days.

The snacks? I'm right there with you. I'll bring my daughter's snacks (if she even needs one) myself. Thanks.

Don't get me started on office birthday parties/anniversaries/new baby's/etc....

Bunny Bunster said...

I'm with you 100% on this one! It's way out of hand.

bejewell said...

My kid is only one and thus I've not had to deal with this yet but I remember when I was a kid, way, WAY back in YE OLDEN DAYES when I played T-ball there was no such thing as game snacks, we either brought our own or we were screwed. And after the game we would all go together to some cheap pizza place and munch on stale pie and play Pac-Man, watching cartoons on the giant projector TV while our parents drank beer. And then they would drive us home drunk and we were all happy.

The end.

JoeinVegas said...

Hey, I happen to like Ho-Hos. And chocolate milk.

Did you bring enough for the wandering visitors too?

scargosun said...

Here's a gift card for .50 to DQ. Enjoy kids!

That is my answer.

kathy said...

You must be aware of the looks I get every baseball season when I ask WHY we need snacks. Playing the game is enough of a treat. And most of the time, it's before I've had a chance to feed the kids. Hubby swears it's part of the whole we're-making-a-nation-of-wusses plot.

mommypie said...

Now's probably not a good time to ask WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

I'm starving.

Baby Favorite said...

See, this is why I read your blog. Because you are so honest and SO RIGHT.

Honestly, it had never occurred to me to be pissed off about snacks until I read this post! And now I'm all YEAH! and WTF?! Why can't they just eat at home? And if you're worried about your kid becoming dehydrated? Then send a f'ing bottle of water like you should've done in the first place!

Jumping on the snarky bandwagon with you, my friend.

Ringleader said...

You are right, although I guess I resigned myself to it all so long ago, I just go with it. My husband coaches our 6yo's soccer team and we DO ask for oranges at half time- tradition I guess- that's how they did it when he was a kids and it gives them a little boost. It does get crazy though. I have 3 kids and approximately 10 thousand trophies that were "earned" by showing up and 1, that was EARNED by my oldest by winning the city softball championship. Which one do you think she shows off and puts in a special place?

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

FINALLY someone has said it.

My daughters didn't do team sports for the most part, so I avoided the whole snack mom thing, but I SEE THE SAME CRAP happen with every school event. Every frickin' thing the kids do must be celebrated with sugar? Can't the kids just enjoy the event and feel pride in their own accomplishment without a bunch of mothers shoving plates of crap and cups of liquid crap at them?

End of rant.

Mel, A Dramatic Mommy said...

Thank you, thank you thank you! My son played T-ball and when it came time to order the trophies I didn't. When hubs found out he got upset and I said, "this is T-ball, there were no winners or losers (another lameness, why can't kids feel pride in winning and good sportsmanship in losing) so why get a trophy?" He ordered one anyway. Grr!

Denise said...

Amen, hallelujah, amen, the end.

Madge said...

i hate those satanic icicles....

Mary Anna said...

Ah, the joys of the years to come! I love your insight to all the fun (?) I'll have to look forward to. We just started preschool, where they presented us with an approved foods list - and a list of what we're not allowed to bring. Oh, and there's nothing that can be shared. To each their own. Amen!

Maria said...

Tootsie, you rock! It was my first season as a soccer mom this summer and the snack crap sucks! Ditto on the goodie bags too - looking forward to your witty rant about it.

You rock!

Lisa said...

Soccer moms are scary. Thanks goodness I have girls and we only do Girl Scouts. But even those moms can get scary. Some moms want to sugar and no sweets. Um, we are the Brownies. It is implied that sweets are a part of out routine. LOL.

apathy lounge said...

I've been there and done that. I want to tell the parents who bring siblings that the snacks are ONLY for the players. I mean, are we feeding a nation or what? If you're bringing siblings, you need to provide them with treats so that the snack-bringer for the team that week doesn't have to go bankrupt buying doughnuts or ding-dongs or whatever. I'm telling ya! This very subject used to just burn me up.

Insane Mama said...

Soccer sucks! And soccer snacks suck and soccer parents suck,( not you of course, but the others) I have been heavily involved in soccer for over 30 years, yes, since I was seven! and My kids play. It sucks! My middle kid is on a competitive travel team and it royaly sucks, cause getting up to drive from Santa Monica to Lancaster at 6am suks!

LiteralDan said...

Now, speaking as someone who feels a magical feeling inside when an event invitation notes that "refreshments will be served", I can say that providing snacks at every game is definitely excessive, not to mention doubling up for everyone else who wants some.

I don't know what I will do when my kids get to this age, but sometimes people drive me insane with their... "je ne sais quoi". You perfectly expressed my latent rage about this and the "everyone-gets-a-trophy" thing, which they started doing when my sister was that age, so at least know you're not alone. Together you and all of us commenters can fight the power!

MamaMo said...

I LOVE you!!
This year our soccer league sent the word out officially to all coaches (I am one) that they are discouraging snacks [people were providing them for every practice, not just games!!], except for some small amount of healthy halftime energy boost (orange slices - the classic; had 'em EVERY game when I played soccer starting in 1976) for games only.

JCK said...

thanks for the heads up about being Team Mom. I'm taking notes for future endeavors.

You hit it out of the ballpark, Tootsie!

Jennifer H said...

Seriously. It's crazy. But you are awesome.

seachange said...

It's time for a revolt!

If 66 Moms/Dads agree with you here, how many others in your DD's team would be willing to jump on the train?

When Kate played soccer, all we had to do was cut up oranges. :-)

Eve Grey said...

Reading that actually made my blood boil. It's like over 100 degrees right now!
What is wrong with the 'rents these days? Everything is such a production. Like, bring your own GD snacks if your kid is hungry.
My M.I.L started this snack and drink thing in the car with my kids when they were little. We're driving 10 minutes to the mall, i'm pretty sure they won't expire from thirst!!!
Now they do a Pavlov's dog and everytime they get in the car they say they're thirsty. My response is usually something along the lines of, "I don't see a tap in here, do you?"...
I am soooo glad my kids don't play soccer!!!!

BOSSY said...

So true! When Bossy was a kid, all the parents had to provide was crack!

lemonadesmile said...

@eatplaylove...I totally read that as...the next support group I sign my daughter up for...which, when you think about it... ;)

Crazymamaof6 said...

well put!
holy crap we had a team that had to serve half time snacks, plus beverages, and after game treats. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? and the team mom gave you the glare if it wasn't individually packed,fruit, and a holiday treat bag with an assortment.
and an end of season pot luck! for real? isn't' that just another excuse to require a $10 donation for a coach gift. LAME.

this is just another reason i avoid letting my kids play team sports.
that and dragging the rest of my herd along. and wasting the whole Saturday between multiple teams, and snacks and travel. OY!it's exhausting.

and by the way you deserve a GOLD STAR for ever volunteering to be the team mom. seriously! WAY TO GO!

Andrea said...

Oh my goodness! You are hilarious! I haven't had the blessed experience of team sports yet. I remember an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond all about this snack issue too. It's freakin' insane! LOL

Definitely kudos to you for participating in sports & for being team mom before! Sounds horrible!

I'm with you...play for an hour or so and go HOME to eat! Snack crap is expensive esp fresh fruit! Geesh!

Tara Smith said...

Hillarious and so SADly true.

Glad I found your blog!

Catholic Runner said...

Amen sister!

mysecondjournal said...

We are now on a team where you are responsible for your childs drink..gaterade, water..bud light if you choose..
Snacks are NOT mandatory any longer. Thank the lord.

HappyHourSue said...

Oh Lord, they just passed around The Snack Sign Up yesterday -I swear, it's like passing friggin' communion or something; "here you go - and here's the pen...good luck."

Anonymous said...

None of my friends blog but I want to copy this rave of a letter and send it to them via e-mail. It's the BEST! Now, I so WANT to hear about the birthday goodie bags! PLLLEEEEZZEEE.

Nap Warden said...

Wow, that's just crazy. I'm with you on this one!

Rosie : ) said...

I have heard about the "take your turn bringing snacks" to soccer games from so many Moms, but non eof our kids are in organized sports {7 kids make for plenty of competitiveness inside the house and outdoors}.

It sounds like the whole thing has gotten out of hand? Children should get water during and after the game. But then to load them up on snacks *after* they have burnedcalories and ran around healthily? Pfft, if you want to celebrate the game, bring the child *yourself* to the victory party at Burger King. What I mean is that it should be every parent that decides what their kid will ingest.

Badness Jones said...

That was a wonderful post. Thanks for saying it!

Kaye Butler said...

Both of my girls played soft ball. The coach mentioned that there would be a few games that she would need help because she had job related commitments. Like a dumby, I volunteered because I had played all through high school, thinking, I would remember some of the rules, etc.
WRONG. She missed like 8 games and almost all of the practices she had to leave early, with the team water and snacks in her truck. We had words after the last game and she won't speak to me today. Its been 3 years. Oh well.

3vs1 said...

Bravo......at least you have the guts to talk about the stupid job of "Snack Parent"...I hate that job I don't want to be resposible for your kid to have a snack. I can barly remember to give my own kidz snacks.The sibling thing oh lord don't even go there!!!

Mechelle said...

YES!! I have said the same thing about 110 times. {Not as funny as you did}

In fact, we just took snacks away from our scout den meetings! The boys did not even ask where the snacks were!

I think we should get a trophy. Don't you! M

Anna See said...

I'm with you, sister! And all of the little snack sized portions lead to MORE MORE MORE! I'm actually feeling pressured about what to contribute to my daughter's soccer team. 2 more weeks before it's my turn!

ms-teacher said...

Funny and sadly pathetic (the other parents, not you) that adults take the fun out of everything.

Karen said...

I don't let this kind of stuff bother me. In fact, I'm not even bothered to take snack when it's my turn. This ensures that I will be accidentally skipped on next year's snack list. So everyone hates me, I don't really care.

Angie said...

I got your link from Tammy's blog and am I ever so glad I stopped by!!! I swear you took EVERY thought out of my mind and put it in words on your blog!! I love it!

I have been "team mom" many, many times and have tried to get the "no treats allowed" law passed and it always gets voted down! Not only do they do after game treats, they also do half time fruits! Oh, for the love, I could reach out and choke someone!

Thanks for the entertainment and bringing this to light!

floridagirlinsydney said...

I had no idea-- we're not at the organized team sports stage yet.
Wow, that sucks.

Your blog is hilarious, I've added you to my blog roster.

Mother Goose said...

OOOH My gosh! this had me laughing right out of my seat!!! I am so glad I found your blog. I love love it. and these are the rants that go on in my head or to my husband privately. YOU know, I wouldn't dare let the other mom's know~!!!

Momo said...

This is why I encourage my children to watch TV instead of try sports. I will GIVE them a ho-ho if they will watch iCarly and leave me alone. Or SpongeBob--my children are in LOVE with that gay sponge and his Patrick. I'm teaching my kids acceptance of all. Forget about swaeting and team jerseys. Life is about ME. Not TEAM.

Burgh Baby said...

You are effin making me want to lock my kid in a closet and forbid her to ever participate in any team sports. Ever. Because I WILL be the mom that screams, "I aint' feeding your effin kid, dammit!"

Crap.

Frantic Home Cook said...

I think I love you. Preach it, sister!

Lulu said...

Wow...92 comments! Obviously, a very hot topic. But, oh do I remember the days of recreational snacks. What a pain. I say everyone should bring their own child a snack! Why should one person be burdened with bringing everyone a snack...even though you take turns. Makes no sense.

Cindi @ Moomettesgram's Musings said...

OMG ~ So So true ~ been there, done that & nothing ever changes! My DDs are 21 & 25 and both had been playing soccer and other team sports, travel included, since they were about 6! DD25 was a Varsity Lacrosse letter winner in college & we traveled all over New England & beyond, and ditto for the other DD who did college Cross Country!

Everything stays the same ~ & thanks for sharing & bringing back memories!

Sue said...

Somehow I missed this last week. DEAR GOD thank you for saying this!!! The feast of junk food that people lay out after a 1-hour Little League game is ri-dic-u-lous! (But no one thinks so except me?! WTF?) I wish your kids were on my kids teams. We could dismay the masses and take our starving and dehydrated little darlings home and feed them regular food at a regular mealtime.

And "a cold day in hell where I'm impaled on a satanic icicle" ... how do you come up with this stuff? You are a genius!! (My husband had adopted the phrase from your Rush post about hating them with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns... not Rush of course, he LOVES Rush. But other stuff. I require him to make proper attribution, of course!)

Off to read your vagina post on BD!

mommy2twinkies-Deb said...

Oh my God, you crack me up with your wisdom. My twins are just two, so I haven't personally dealt with this yet. After attending the football games that my stepdaughter cheers for, I was wondering about those snacks that are given out to all the girls after a tedious game of football-oops, I meant cheering for football. It's exhausting you know. I hate it too. Cheers for saying what we all think.. and I do want to hear what you have to say about birthday party bags.

Elizabeth Channel said...

We've got a gem of a team mom for football this year--seriously.

She asked for $6 from each family and, with that amount, she is able to provide a tiny pack of "stale-ish" cheezits and a bottled water for each player during each game.

It's kinda funny because these lackluster snacks have certainly lost their excitement now that we are at the fourth game of the season.

Tonight, a few kids came by to claim their pack but the rest of the packs just languished out there in the field.

Errant siblings kicked them with their toes.

Old cheezits just don't cut it, but WHO CARES??? I hope she *made* money on this venture!

Works for me. Now that's solving a problem.

Anonymous said...

I also took my turn as Team Mom-my husband was the t-ball coach. It was...a nightmare.
And I ended up bringing snacks like 8 of 13 games because the other parents would not ante up for it, but you'd better believe they were right there making sure their kid got theirs.
And sibling snacks-ha!! "So not happening" when I brought snacks. I had a mom ask if I had snacks for siblings, I turned to her lil t-baller and said, "Now's a good chance to show your sister how big boys and girls share; why don't you split yours with her?" Then we took the 5 leftover juice boxes and half box of Little Debbies and split for home, cuz I bought them and darn it, I like Little Debbies just as much as five year olds do!