I find myself, lately, uttering the phrase Oh my God I'm getting so old! I mean, it's true, I am. That is the way life goes. You get older. Fortunately, it's a gradual process. But sometimes events arise that smack that fact right straight across your face like a bitch. And certain events include but are not limited to the following:
- Tootsie's youngest sister graduated from high school last June and is in her first year of college. And when Tootsie says youngest sister she means the sister who is twenty years younger. What. Ever.
- Tootsie's other younger sister is turning 21 in just two months. It seems like yesterday Tootsie was changing her cloth diapers and ramming herself in the thumb with those fooking diaper pins. Hello, Mom? One word: Pampers.
- Tootsie's oldest son is 13 - A TEENAGER - and it dawned on Tootsie that hiring a 15 year old babysitter to watch the kids when she has her very own teenager right there in her own home seemed like a waste of five dollars an hour (who is Tootsie kidding? See following gripe)
- Babysitters in 2010 are at least ten dollars an hour. Tootsie used to make two dollars an hour babysitting. But that's okay because Tootsie didn't really like your kids anyway she just needed cigarette money.
- Tootsie's twenty year high school reunion was LAST YEAR.
- Tootsie's niece became engaged to be married over winter break**
- Tootsie's oldest son
shaveswill start high school in the fall.
- Tootsie can't remember the last time she went to a bridal or baby shower but does remember the last funeral she went to.
- Tootsie's flower girl from her own wedding just turned twenty-two.
- Tootsie knows when it's humid before setting foot outside because she is unable to remove the rings from her fingers.
P.s. No one likes a showoff.