Friday, January 15, 2010

Tootsie Takes a Long Hard Look in the Mirror and Faces the Facts


I find myself, lately, uttering the phrase Oh my God I'm getting so old! I mean, it's true, I am. That is the way life goes. You get older. Fortunately, it's a gradual process. But sometimes events arise that smack that fact right straight across your face like a bitch. And certain events include but are not limited to the following:

  • Tootsie's youngest sister graduated from high school last June and is in her first year of college. And when Tootsie says youngest sister she means the sister who is twenty years younger. What. Ever.
  • Tootsie's other younger sister is turning 21 in just two months. It seems like yesterday Tootsie was changing her cloth diapers and ramming herself in the thumb with those fooking diaper pins. Hello, Mom? One word: Pampers.
  • Tootsie's oldest son is 13 - A TEENAGER - and it dawned on Tootsie that hiring a 15 year old babysitter to watch the kids when she has her very own teenager right there in her own home seemed like a waste of five dollars an hour (who is Tootsie kidding? See following gripe)
  • Babysitters in 2010 are at least ten dollars an hour. Tootsie used to make two dollars an hour babysitting. But that's okay because Tootsie didn't really like your kids anyway she just needed cigarette money.
  • Tootsie's twenty year high school reunion was LAST YEAR.
  • Tootsie's niece became engaged to be married over winter break**
  • Tootsie's oldest son shaves will start high school in the fall.
  • Tootsie can't remember the last time she went to a bridal or baby shower but does remember the last funeral she went to.
  • Tootsie's flower girl from her own wedding just turned twenty-two.
  • Tootsie knows when it's humid before setting foot outside because she is unable to remove the rings from her fingers.
  • ETC...
**Congratulations to my niece on her engagement. And for becoming engaged and not being pregnant - way to break the cycle.

P.s. No one likes a showoff.

24 comments:

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Wait until your youngest gets her driver's license. Then you'll REALLY be old. Which means I have 10 more months of youth left.

Suburban Correspondent said...

What I can't get used to is meeting fully-grown adults who are younger than me.

Mommy2Twinkies-Deb said...

I feel your pain.. I feel your pain!

Jen on the Edge said...

I'm a couple of years older than you and, for some reason, I found my 40th birthday to be somewhat liberating. Perhaps I am just in denial???

Oh, and back in the day, I made $1/hour babysitting, regardless of how many kids were in my command. Nowadays, I pay $10/hour, whether it's both or just one of my kids.

Sewfast said...

$10.00 an hour for a sitter??? Shit!!! I must be knocking ondeath's door...I made 50 cents an hour back in the day! (Cigarettes were 3 packs/$1.00)

hulagirlatheart said...

The moment I first really felt old was when I went to the foot doctor, and he was younger than me. Doctors are supposed to be wrinkly and gray for Pete's sake. Then I realized how handsome he was, got over myself and let him play with my feet. I just admit though, the song Mrs. Robinson ran through my head the whole time.

Pip said...

Best Blog Entry I've read in a long time! Man..that was good! I just turned 30 this year, I'm loving it but now I'm so much closer to 40 and that's where it gets scary!

MommyTime said...

*sigh* I got $1 an hour, even for 4 kids. And now I pay $10 for two kids. Nothing makes me feel older than this.

Except for the grey hair. The eye crinkles. The dry skin on the backs of my hands. The stiff back I wake up with every morning. And the fact that many of my students (I teach COLLEGE) were born in the 1990s. Yes. 1990s.

JCK said...

I'm *sighing all over your screen*. I'm feeling the same, but without the witticisms...That's why I come over here and read you.

Derek James said...

your not even old what are you on about??

Derek James said...

your not even that old??

JoeinVegas said...

But look, you understand so much more now.

Michele R said...

My oldest starts high school in the fall too. It was very weird at the middle school the other day for high school patent night and hearing about AP courses, etc.
We go out occasionally for dinner alone or a movie and leave the boys at home now that one is 13. Yeah to the savings!!

MelADramatic Mommy said...

I'm starting to feel the same way. Life is passing by so fast. I will be thirty se... thirty sev... See? I can't even type it.

LI Laura said...

My 30TH HIGH SCHOOL REUNION is this year!!! I started working at this agency before some of the kids who work here now were born!!! I had to get progressive lenses!!! I am OOOOOOOOLLLLLLDDDDDDDDD!!!

jenn said...

Oh, do I ever hear you!

texasholly said...

Ugh. I am Tootsie's age.

g said...

Wait till your son grows a beard. And develops male pattern baldness. That's when you really feel old.

Actually - like Jen on the Edge - I liked turning 40. I even liked turning 50. I'm not so sure I'm going to feel the same about 60, but, whatever.

Live.Love.Eat said...

Hey Tootsie, it's been so long. Wanted to come by & say hello.

My 20 yr reunion was last year too so don't feel bad. I am actually looking forward to 40 next year. And you look amazing!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Mom said...

We're the same age. You know what made me feel old? When I though Taylor Lautner was hot in Twilight. So bad.

Old 333 said...

Arrrgh. I was already feeling old today. Now I know it for sure.

Mrs. G. said...

Tootsie's still got it.

I'm with Jenn, wait until your daughter starts talking about grad school.

Stu said...

I think the guys were checking you out pretty heavily then...

and now...

stephanie (bad mom) said...

If it makes you feel any better, I have no pictures of me from ever in my life that look as good as your twenty-years-ago shot. AND my 20 year HS reunion was FOUR years ago.

I love you and am sorry I haven't been here in awhile. But luckily my husband has been keeping up with you religiously (see above comment wherein he admits to checking you out...).