Thursday, July 15, 2010

Hey Kids, it's that Time of the Month Again!

I have a bad habit of ending up at the grocery store just about every. damn. day. And I try really hard not to do this. I make a list like a normal person, buy everything on it, and inevitably I'll end up at the store the next day because of one fricken thing I totally forgot about. And it'll be something that is really needed like an important ingredient for whatever it is I'm making for dinner that night or my husband's deodorant, or dog food. Yesterday wasn't any different. While I was there I wisely figured, hey, why don't I get everything for tomorrow night's dinner too so that I'm not right back here doing exactly this same thing. Tacos sounded like a good idea and the kids love them, so that's all made of win! And the husband tolerates them, so that's...whatever, his dinner is ready and served to him when he gets home.

I chose my white corn tortillas very carefully because, I don't know what the hell it is about tortillas, but those bad boys are super delicate. If you're not mindful you'll come home with a package full of broken, useless discs. After disregarding at least three packages I found one whose contents were in perfect condition. This was not the case when I unpacked my groceries at home. There they were, in the bag that contained...eggs of all things...the entire all ten of them broken completely in half. How in the world...?

Somewhere between placing them lovingly on the conveyor belt at the checkout to my house, they met their untimely demise. And what did I do when I found the mutilated lot of them? I acted like any other sane, rational person and hurled them across the kitchen so that they crashed against the sliding glass door. And then I cried.

You don't think that has anything to do with PMS, do you? DO YOU? I warn you that you shouldn't answer that with anything other than "no" unless you're armed with a tranquilizer gun. I'm feeling very "bear in a tree in your backyard-ish".

16 comments:

Amanda said...

At first I sat here all confused because I usually just grab a thing of tortillas and toss them in the cart and have no problem and then I realized that I buy flour tortillas. What's with the corn ones? Delicate indeed!

I hear vodka has tranquilizing properties!

DawnA said...

PMS is NEVER the reason for a bad mood. Anyone who thinks so (or is dumb enough to say it) may/will be sent to time out for an undetermined amount of time! Said time out may include a trip for wine.

Manic Mommy said...

This is usually about the time I suck brownie mix through a straw. Oh...never mind. You don't have eggs.

Crisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crisa said...

Broken tortillas go good with margaritas. And they make good migas for the next morning's headache.

But really, the trick is to by the larger packs so that the ones in the middle stay safe from the mysterious tortilla crushers.

JoeinVegas said...

No, not at all.

Please back away from the tortillas. Bag your own next time, I think those guys do that on purpose.

Stu said...

No.

I'm sure it is something else.

The Introvert said...

Well I haven't had PMS in about 10 years and I still throw things at the wall, so I guess I'm just a crazy bitch :)

MommyTime said...

Soft tacos are easier in flour tortillas. They never cause the Internal Dragon of Doom to rear its ugly head.

Also, there's an app for that. Not for PMS, though I'm sure they've tried, but for grocery list planning -- one where you actually have to input recipes, but then, when you pick menus for a few days or week or whatever, it automatically generates the list so that there are no pesky ingredients missing. I'm sure there are reasons this idea sucks, but I thought I'd put it out there anyway, in case you're interested. It's called Meal Board.

Baby Favorite said...

Sounds like a completely reasonable response. Well, at least, if you're ME. Just ask my husband!

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

I send MPS to do the grocery shopping.

That way, when something arrives broken or not in the condition I require I can just hurl it at his head.

Any time of the month. Because CLEARLY he provoked me.

Natalie | The Bobby Pin said...

Oh goodness am I guilty of moments like that. I think if you buy the tortillas in a pack of 20 or so they kind of all support each other? I don't know, I just know we consume a lot of tortillas so we buy the big pack and I don't have that prob.

Kenneth Sepeti said...

Good times.

Anonymous said...

www.cheatymonkey.com

Val said...

Wow this great!!

Lynette said...

Next time? Just fry them up for home-made nachos. And tequila. A LOT of tequila.

Should help the DAMMIT MY TORTILLAS ARE RUINED AGAIN-itis