Obama is President-Elect Now Let's Get Down to Important Baloney...

Like choosing the hypoallergenic First Dog. Here we have a Wirehaired Fox Terrier. Decent size. Sturdy haunches. And a face that can only be described as "colonial". Grade A stuff. All that's missing is his powdered wig, a shot of bourbon, and a pipe.

Another presidential looking dog: the Bouvier des Flandres. Fancy name for a fancy dog. Throw a monocle on this bitch and call it a freakin' day. You can practically hear her scream, I can't see a thing fetch my opera glasses!

Peru suggests this: WTH? Peruvian hairless dog. But, um, ew. Just say no to anything that looks like it could stand a few good rounds with some Rogaine.

Now that the Obamas have a couple of canine suggestions to mull over, let us tackle cabinet positions. Speaking of cabinet members, while doing my extensive research for this entry -where extensive equals one Wikipedia search about cabinet members- I learned that because they are in the presidential line of succession following the Vice President, Speaker of the House, and President pro tempore of the Senate - in the event that all of those people have a really super bad day- that the cabinet members are never allowed to all be in one location all at the same time. For instance, during the State of the Union Address, at least one cabinet member cannot attend and is kept in an undisclosed secure location. Which makes the SOTU drinking game really lonely. But I digress...

Cabinet positions. Just as George Carlin believed that the Ten Commandments were eight too many and was able to narrow them down to two which would have allowed "Moses to carry them down the hill in his pocket"; there are too many shelves in the presidential cabinet.

First: The Secretaries of the Interior, of Housing and Urban Development, of Transportation, and of Energy can be combined into one. Henceforth known as Secretary of Civil Engineering.

Also merge-able: The Secretaries of Defense and that of Veterans Affairs and it should be this guy from The Longest Yard:

So far we've eliminated four. Now let's unite the Secretaries of Commerce and that of Agriculture because what is food if not a commodity? And let's throw in Secretary of Labor in there because it just fits. New title? Secretary of Business Affairs.

We should also just go ahead and marry the Secretary of Health and Human Services with that of Education and it will simply be known as a high school principal.

We aren't finished. We're just going to do away with the Attorney General position altogether because it's been a couple of decades since warning labels became mandatory on cigarette packaging. If you don't know by now that smoking can kill you then there is nothing further the Attorney General can do for you.

Department of Homeland Security is through too. It was created under George W. Bush and frankly anything he's done has been a disaster. Wipe the slate clean I say.

The Secretary of Treasury can stay because I like money.

The Secretary of State is useful too but should be known as The Wing Man.

Now that we've thoroughly purged the cabinet, adequate room has been made for a new position that can only be filled by one man:

Hippie Chick

I've voted in every election since 1992; 1992 being a combination of presidential election year and my being old enough to vote. At the time it was William Jefferson Clinton v George Herbert Walker Bush and it had been twelve years of Republican presidents and we were ready for a change as evidenced by the 370 (Clinton) to 168 (Bush) electoral votes. And the 44,909,806 to 39,104,500 popular vote for Bill Clinton. There was also a little elf-like character named Ross Perot [no offense to the pro-elf movement].

Once again we are ready for change. Yesterday was my little sister's generation's turn. I'm so proud of her; and a little envious that her first time was so utterly fantastic!



**photos of and by Dorothy Z. & tweaked by Tootsie without Dorothy's permission using Picnik

Pardon Me, I'm All Vaklempt and Full of SQUEEEEE!

Well hello, Mr. President-Elect! How you doin'?


Tonight Barack Obama made history! And I only wish I could have been there in person to hear him speak. Except when it came time to hunt for my car because holy hell can you imagine trying to navigate your way out of that when it was time to go home? Where'd we park again? I don't know, Indiana I think.


We pause to bring you the obligatorily point at random person in the crowd.

It's a new day...I can smell the hope. Can you?

P.S. Except that I have to go to bed knowing that Proposition 8 is currently leading with 53% in favor and really hoping that number changes before I wake up in the morning.

P.P. S. WTF California?!?

*all photos associated press

It Doesn't Hurt that He's Also Sexy

Never before had a politician, of all things, moved me to tears [not tears of hope anyway, tears of frustration and anger oh my yes] as Barack Obama [really Spell Check? You don't recognize this name by now? Get with the program homeslice] did with his speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention:


But even though, when our eyes met through my television that night, generating stirrings of inspiration, I was doubtful about his eventual decision to run for president. It's not that I didn't have faith in him, no. It's that I didn't think it was his time. I was an Al Gore girl and I kept not so secretly hoping he'd toss his hat into the ring because I believed he would be the only one to defeat Hillary Clinton in the primaries and ultimately whomever the Republican candidate happened to be (at the time); and not that I had anything against Clinton either, I just didn't think she could clinch the win come November of '08.

Anyway, details... I didn't think Obama would have the support of the nation, collectively, to seal this deal. And I'm happy to admit when I'm wrong, because good lord:


And because holy moly:


And even in Europe because, oh meine Güte:



Five more days.


P.S. Haaaaave mercy!

**all pictures Google images

Who Is More Presidential?

Ten dollar Starbucks gift card to the funniest caption for this photo!

I almost hate to muck this up with any commentary. I mean, seriously, it almost doesn't even need words.

The comment that makes me laugh the hardest is the winner because it's my blog and I say so.

**Edited to add: Yes it is a REAL photo from this photo stream on Yahoo In case there was any doubt.

There's a Little Something Stuck in My Wedge Issue

*image courtesy of Cafe Press. B-cup bust not included.

Tootsie would like to know: what exactly is it that marriage needs protection from? Tootsie does not think that they are talking about divorce. She also doesn't think they mean that twenty-two year old intern with the great rack. Or that it needs protection from being taken for granted, or that it's become comfortable and boring, or rather predictable, or because it's suffering under the financial strain. Or that it needs to be protected from the kids that have sucked the entire romance right out of it. Or inlaws.

Their website announces that a recent poll shows traditional marriage is in the lead. Tootsie thinks that that is because traditional marriage has had a hell of a head start. They are also over-concerned about the vocabulary surrounding marriage and that words like "bride and groom" are returned to state marriage licenses because apparently anytime someone signs one of the gender neutral variety, a kitten dies. Tootsie doesn't think that they really care all that much about words.

They are worried that the value of marriage is being undermined. Tootsie thinks they should worry about their own individual marriages and leave everyone else the hell alone and not concern themselves so much with how others choose to live their lives. Tootsie isn't sure but she believes that everyone in her valley received their "Yes on 8" bumper stickers in the mail this week. She was made aware of this when she was confronted with several that cropped up overnight. She's worried that she's landed in a nest of supporters. Send help. Bat signal use is optional.

Come November in California, Tootsie will be voting NO on Yes on 8. Tootsie believes that the only thing that can undermine the value of a marriage are the two people in it.

Hopefully Curiosity Does Not Kill a Blogger

*Let's try this again with a poll that actually gives you options. Please excuse my publishing faux pas*

I've been pretty good about keeping politics off this blog, for the most part. And I don't plan to start but you never know. I'm nothing if not inconsistent and random. But I am curious to know a little about the demographic that visits here. That means YOU! Please partake in this very scientific poll, where scientific means not at all. Your vote is anonymous even to me. Unless of course you have something you need to get off your chest in the comments section, but that's up to you. Rock Click the Vote!