Load Up on Caffeine so You Don't Fall Asleep Before #6

What? Me quirky?!?

Sunangel tagged me with a six uninteresting things about me meme. Just in time too because I can't put two words together this weekend to create a decent blog post. Fortunately I've already got something in the queue for Monday. This was just the boost I needed to pry myself off the couch because seriously I'm about over the Olympics already yet still curiously drawn to them.

The rules:

• Link the person who tagged you
  
• Mention the rules on your blog
  
• Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
  
• Tag 6 bloggers by linking them & leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they have been tagged.

1. I have to clean up the kitchen after a meal. I cannot stand for there to be dirty dishes and pots and pans. Or even a glass on the counter. My dishwasher is always full of either clean or dirty dishes. It's rarely empty. In contrast...
2. There are several piles of papers in various parts of my house. The island in the kitchen is a popular place for catching mail and school related memos. And the kids drawings. And things to be shredded. Seriously, if banks would stop sending 3 to 5 credit card offers to us a day (EACH DAY!) they would save themselves so much money.
3. I don't read credit card offers. I don't even open them. They are destroyed and discarded. Usually months after they're received; hence the piles of papers.
4. I rock back and forth when applying my makeup. This probably counts more as "quirky" rather than "uninteresting". No. It's both. I lean towards the mirror to apply. I lean back to inspect. Lean forward for closer inspection. I'm sure it would appear odd to anyone who might be studying my makeup application rituals. At least I don't open my mouth in that "O" shape during the mascara process.
5. My right leg is longer than my left. By about 1/2 and inch. Which isn't noticeable until I wear long pants. It's the main reason I avoid jeans that hit at the ankle and kiss the ground that boot cut jeans walk on. They're notoriously long.
6. My knees grind when I walk up stairs. And when it is very quiet in the house they are very loud. And creaky. And freak people out (I'm looking at you my two sisters!).

Now, I'm supposed to tag six others with this meme but I've seen this particular one going around quite a bit this week. So I'm not tagging anyone in particular. If you're like me and clogged for fodder, have at it and tell people I tagged you. I'll vouch for ya.

In other news:



MEKHISMOM from Cutie Booty Cakes passed on this Brillante Blogger award to me! Since I just recently passed this award on to others, I will selfishly simply accept it and shout out: Thank you, Renee!!

Enjoy what's left of your weekend peeps! Peace out.

*photo by Dorothy Z.

There's Only so Much I could say About Sea World

A Girl Named Timi [although, I suspect she's actually a woman] tagged me with what she called her "Midweek Meme". That title is all fine and good if you're stumped for blog fodder on Humpday, but this is Monday and guess what? I struggle. I could write about how we spent Saturday together as a family at Sea World. And how Yahoo weather lied to me and said it was going to be 73 degrees and mostly cloudy and I was all, Yahooooo! Jeans weather! So I wore them and then sweltered in the blazing hot sun all day and have a shoulder -slash- v-neck sunburn that is bringing sending sexy back. Damn you Yahooooo!

I could tell you about how after a dolphin show and the Shamu show, Girl-Child asked, "Mommy, why isn't there a shark show?". Because, Girl-Child, that'd be a hell of a show. I could also talk about how proud I am of Mr. Farklepants for keeping his shit together under the extreme circumstance known as: Crowds. In case you were wondering, half of Southern California went to Sea World on Saturday. Traffic may have seemed a little lighter than usual out there on the roads and now you know where everyone was. So, basically, now I've told you about it. Now for the meme:

4 Things you should know about me before you invite me to your house.

1. I like to look at the photographs people display around the house. And I will walk around your house looking at all of your pictures. If you've got a photo album out then you'll find me perched on your couch studying it like I was about to get my masters in your family photos.
2. I will notice how you decorate your house and will mentally change, improve, move furniture, disagree, or agree with your taste and or choices. If I don't like it you'll never know. If I do, you'll know immediately. Because I'll keep telling you. And perhaps steal some of your ideas.
3. I can get really drunk on red wine. Two glasses is about all it takes to get me good and buzzed. More than that and I have the potential to vomit. Keep me conveniently placed near a bathroom.
4. I like to eat. I'm disappointed when I attend a party or get together that only offers finger foods. When I see chips and guacamole I'm praying there are tacos and enchiladas that will follow.

Now for everybody's favorite party game: TAG! I'm tagging the following four people (and ducking while they take a swing at me):

The Jason Show
Blog This Mom!
Doves Today
Wine Please

Saturday Presents The Meme With No Name

Amy Amy Bo Bamey from Life Of A Nguyener (Win-ner) tagged me with the following meme. It doesn't appear to have an official title so I dub thee "The Meme With No Name"! Catchy, no? Qui. Feel free to use it when I tag you. And don't you go hiding now either 'cause, I'll find ya. I'm like a ninja.

What is your favorite quotable line from a Movie?

• This changes frequently because it depends on the situation and I'm a fickle bitch. Pretty much anything from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, like this: "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

Who is the most famous person you have spoken to?

• This is kind of an unfair question because I've worked in the movie business and have met several. But I don't get many opportunities to brag so... I exchanged hellos with George Clooney (he's a winker, by the way). And Al Pacino. I had a conversation with Steven Soderbergh and Mike Nichols (just not at the same time). And have met Tom Hanks twice. I shall stop there. Someday I'll write a more detailed post about that. Maybe.
  

How many bags/boxes of Potato Chips are consumed at your place in a month?

• We are a family of five with a Doritos habit. 'Nuff said.
  

Who is your all time favorite Cartoon Character?

• All time? Bugs Bunny. Especially on Ether and in drag. Awesome.
  

What foreign food Dish do you prepare from scratch and Serve?

• Spaghetti counts, right? I make a kick-ass authentic Sicilian gravy. The pasta itself is store bought because, really?
  

What is your favorite section of the Supermarket?

• The deli because the shits already made.
  

What was your high school teams mascot and what were the school's colors?

• Our colors were black, red, and white. Our mascot didn't even make sense. We were the "Dons" [Spanish, not the Godfather]. I'm still not sure what that was all about.

The rules:

1. Answer the above questions in a blog posting.
2. Identify the people who you are going to tag, and
3. Acknowledge who tagged you.

I'm going to tag some people that are new or newish to me and hopefully don't have a thing against memes with no names:

Eve Grey at Shut My Mouth
Auds at Barking Mad
Swirl Girl
Ms. Sullivan

Sunday Evening Meme

I've been tagged by Merlot Mom with a book meme. It's quite simple which is good because I'm pressed for time. It's Father's Day. There are brownies cooling. And the Lakers are just TRYING to give this game away and I'm no longer speaking to them.

The rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

"...I just can't understand why I'm finding it so difficult. Some people make hundreds of these things every week, without any effort. Mrs. S. of Ruislip even takes her family on a cruise every year on her earnings."

Contrary to what you might believe, "Confessions of a Shopaholic" is not my autobiography. But I can totally relate to the tagline "Going broke was never this much fun". I borrowed this book from my sister about two years ago and made it as far as page 31. There's nothing wrong with the book. There's something wrong with me.

I'm tagging the following:

A Girl Named Timi
Bad Mom
Doves Today
LaskiGal
Motherscribe

You're it!

The Post That May Cure Your Insomnia

I was tagged with a meme by Allison from The Rabbit Hole for thirteen uninteresting things about me. Let me wow you with some humdrum.

1. My favorite burger joint is Jimmy Deans. Not really for their burgers, although good, but for their fountain soda because it's served over CRUSHED ICE.
2. I never learned how to whistle.
   
3. I was on the drill team in junior high school. Nowadays known as "dance team".
4. I designed my own prom dress and my grandmother made it. It was the 80's and everything was very "big hoop" and I was very not. It was very similar to the style of the dress Marilyn Monroe wore in The Seven Year Itch subway skirt scene (see above). Only black with less wind. And less implied sex. My sex is always direct.
   
5. I almost drowned in a public pool when I was about 10. My mother had to jump in and rescue me.
6. I gave my brother a black eye when I threw a backpack containing a Merlin Game at his face.
   
7. I craved hamburgers with my last two pregnancies. Not McDonalds, but real hamburgers. Like, man hamburgers.
8. Nine times out of ten I will order eggs benedict when out to breakfast. Heartland Scramble if we're at Denny's.
9. I had that dreadful Dorothy Hamill haircut when I was about nine. Was mistaken for a boy more than once. Was also warned by my mother beforehand, more than once.
   
10. I own an obscene amount of makeup that I don't wear.
11. I wanted to name our daughter Madeline, Caroline, or Charlotte. My husband did not. Oh the plans how they change.
    
12. I pretty much plan my summer wardrobe around flip-flops.
13. I'm uncompromising about the no food and drink rule in my car. And also its cleanliness.
    

I know I'm supposed to tag others but I'm not. So if you all are still hanging in there and wanna, then getter done! Use it for a rainy-writer's-block-day.

Photo Google Images

Lookin' Good Mistahhh Kot-tair...

Spring break is over! Can I get a WOOT WOOT! Now we can get back to our regularly scheduled program. I've been appropriately tagged by Jenn at Juggling Life with the following school related meme with a note from Epstein's mother:

Five Classes That Should Have Been Taught in School

1. Introduction to What it's Really Like to Have a Child - session includes such topics as: a) You will have a child that acts just like that, b) Welcome to life without sleep, c) How to effectively use a pacifier to muffle screaming, d) Time-outs: The Colossal Joke, e) Blow-out diapers (aka poop soup OR how did shit get on my baby's neck?)
2. A Wedding is not a Marriage 101 - session includes lectures from couples married ten or more years and currently withholding sex from one another because the sound of the other's voice is unacceptable. Also scheduled to appear: couples in their 17th honeymoon faze (sign up quick for this lecture because it is extremely brief! There is also a chance that it will be canceled. Choose alternate elective as a back up.)
3. A Wedding is not a Marriage Advanced Honors - An excellent class for necessary reinforcement of concepts. It all bears repeating.
   
4. Meet Your Future Self - Travel in time to find out that high school is not the beginning and end of your life, there really will be sun damage, smoking will have an effect, Metallica will still rule, and STD's aren't even kidding.
5. Packages and Toy Retrieval - This is a shop class that will teach you how to effectively remove toys from packages without breaking a nail. Or a screwdriver. Or one of the tires on your car.

Tag! You're it:

Hope for the Hopeless
The Madame Queen
The Rocking Pony

A Well Seasoned Handbag but is it Worth the Salt?

The contents of women's purses are being displayed across the blogosphere. OHmommy over at Classy Chaos has tagged me with a meme and specifically wants to know what is inside a mother of three's bag. Since I just recently published a similar post about this very thing, I submit a repeat picture:


My children are eleven, eight, and four. At this stage of mommyhood, I no longer require a diaper bag or relatively large tote with handy pockets and dividers to hold all of the necessary items for diaper changing, feedings, or optional clothing needs. When you're a mother to older children, your purse becomes a receptacle for whatever they have tired of holding onto themselves. You know that item that you told them before you left the house that if they wished to bring it with them, they were responsible for its means of getting around? Fortunately, also at this stage, I often carry a moderately smallish purse which often cannot accommodate their larger items. This prevents any possible way to shove said item in my purse and forcing them the inhumanity of hanging onto their own crap and bitching about the injustice of it all. And gives me the opportunity to say "I told you so". Which? I say a lot.

**************************

Unrelated Episode:

During dinner last evening, Girl-Child's wheat roll had mysteriously disappeared from her plate. You should also know that her Sky Wishes My Little Pony (she has named Melissa) had joined her for dinner. When pressed on the whereabouts of her bread, the following happened:

Me: Where's your bread?
Girl-Child: (hem and haw) ...well... Melissa ...she climbed over the table ...and
Me: (considers this remote possibility) She did?
Girl-Child: Uhuh. And she got on my plate. And. And. And she spilled it on the floor.
Me: (totally unconvinced) Uhuuuuuh.
Girl-Child: And the doggy ate it.
Me: (my hands are now on my hips in traditional mommy form plus stern face) Is that what really happened?
Girl-Child: (BURSTS into inconsolable crying) Nu..Nu...Nooooooooooooooooooo... I.. I....I'm sorry I fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiibbbed.

There's just sooo many tears!

And, oh, the wailing!

I hug her and simultaneously stifle laughter turn my head to see rest of family hiding their faces to stifle own laughter at her grossly disproportionate reaction to getting caught in a fiiiiiiibbb.

Then Lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch Towards thy Foe, who, Being Naughty in my Sight, Shall Snuff it

Something light and fun and totally not easy in the least, for the weeks end. I've been tagged by laughingatchaos with a six word memoir meme. I'm a bit fuzzy on the details but from what I can ascertain, I'm supposed to sum up my life in six words. No more. No less. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three six. Five is right out. [and the title plus that last part is for the Monty Python Holy Grail fans, for thou shalt be thy only ones to get-eth it-eth]. So, without further ado but with plenty of thought; the memoirs of my life in six words (six versions):

Consumes wine with feet in mouth.

Sweating the small stuff since 1971.

Exists on copious amounts of coffee.

Puts out for jewelry and vodka.

Mother. Wife. Sister. Daughter. Friend. Hoo-er.

Blazed a path straight to hell.

Convincingly has her shit together, sorta.

Now to go and give others something to do. I'm tagging June Cleaver Nirvana, Bad Mom, and because she was just lamenting that she's all dried up for blog fodder; The Mom Bomb. But personally, I think she's full of crap.

The Way Back Machine (aka It's a Meme)

I've been tagged with this meme by Calicobebop. It involves extensive linking and I'm now fatigued and need a nap. But she did give me something to post today so she's officially all that.

********************

Rules: Go back through your archives and post the links to your five favorite blog posts that you’ve written.

Link one must be about family
Link two must be about friends
Link three must be about yourself
Link four must be about something you love
Link five can be about anything you choose

Post your five links and then tag five other people. At least two of the people you tag must be newer acquaintances so that you get to know each other better.
**********************

1. Here I had my dander up about bullies and my son.
2. Since I don't really blog about my friends, this pretend friend will have to do.
3. This is where I saved Christmas.
4. This is about my husband and how he did something that made me want to make the sexy time with him.
5. Here is where I explain the origin of "Tootsie Farklepants".

Now for the tagging: A Mom Two Boys, Thursday Drive, Keep Believing. I know that's only 3 but that's all the time I got. Enjoy!

Movie Meme Madness

Shall we play a game? I'm totally stealing this Movie Meme from my sister's friend, Nicole. Her LiveJournal is private so there is no point in linking it. Also, since she is a young college woman with an online journal who has made it private shows that she is wise and I like that in a person. MUCH.

RULES:
1. Pick fifteen of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess (that would be YOU, Reader).
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed. (I will also credit and link the first person to guess correctly)
This part is for the reader (i.e. YOU!)
5. No Googling or using IMDB search functions. (Don't be Cheaty McCheater-Face)
6. Leave your answer(s) in the comments.

Which movies made this sound:

1) "Well, I don't want Fop, goddamn it! I'm a Dapper Dan man!" Oh Brother Where Art Thou winner: The Madame Queen

2) "Son, you got a panty on your head." Raising Arizona winner: The Madame Queen

3) "Now you listen to me, you smooth-talking son-of-a-bitch. Let me lay it on the line for you and your boss, whoever he is: Johnny Fontane will never get that movie. I don't care how many dago guinea wop greaseball goombahs come out of the woodwork!" The Godfather winner: As You Wish

4) "Watch your mouth kid, or you're gonna find yourself floating home. We'll be safe enough once we make the jump to hyperspace. Besides, I know a few maneuvers. We'll lose em'!" Star Wars
winner: The Madame Queen

5) "No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how." Gone With The Wind winner: The Madame Queen

6) "Tell you what... truth is, sometimes I miss you so bad I can hardly stand it..." Brokeback Mountain winner: Jennifer at Thursday Drive

7) "You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. " The Princess Bride winner: The Madame Queen

8) "So that was Mrs. Lundegaard on the floor in there. And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper. And those three people in Brainerd. And for what? For a little bit of money. There's more to life than a little money, you know. Don't you know that? And here ya are, and it's a beautiful day. Well, I just don't understand it. " Fargo winner: The Madame Queen

9) "No! No! No! It's not supposed to happen this way! I'm supposed to go first. I've always been ready to go first! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I don't think I can take this! I-I just wanna *hit* somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna *hit* something! I wanna *hit it hard*!" Steel Magnolias winner: The Madame Queen

10) "Yeah, we cool. Two things. Don't tell nobody about this. This shit is between me, you, and Mr. Soon-To-Be-Living-The-Rest-of-His-Short-Ass-Life-In-Agonizing-Pain Rapist here. It ain't nobody else's business. Two: you leave town tonight, right now. And when you're gone, you stay gone, or you be gone. You lost all your L.A. privileges. Deal?" Pulp Fiction winner: The Madame Queen

11) "When I was in China on the All-American Ping Pong team, I just loved playing ping-pong with my Flexolite ping pong paddle" Forrest Gump winner: The Madame Queen

12) "Woman... woe-man... whoooa-man. She was a thief, you gotta believe, she stole my heart and my cat. Betty, Judy, Josie and those hot Pussycats... they make me horny, Saturday morny... girls of cartoo-ins will leave me in ruins... I want to to be Betty's Barney. Hey Jane... get me off this crazy thing... called love." So I Married an Axe Murderer winner: Maremone at The Young Bostons

13) "I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's fucked up. That ain't my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you ask me to sign something that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it, put it to a vote, I'll vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball. And as for this non-college bullshit I got two words for that: learn to fuckin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big fuckin' surprise." Reservoir Dogs winner: Ya..About That...

14) "You think you can catch Keyser Soze? You think a guy like that comes this close to getting caught, and sticks his head out? If he comes up for anything it'll be to get rid of me. After that... my guess is you'll never hear from him again." The Usual Suspects winner: The Madame Queen

15) "Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus." American Beauty winner: The Madame Queen

You're welcome to tag your ownself with this meme! I warn you...it's a time suck. But a fun one!

One Flung Poo

You're all: "What's with that title?". And I'm all: "Why the confusion, young Grasshopper?". And then you're like: "Now you're talking like a Kung Fu master! You're being totally weird!". And I'm like: "Woof!". And you're all: "That's so random!".

Jennifer H at Thursday Drive and Anna at Honeywine are both curious to know 7 random or weird things about me and tagged me with the following meme. I'm not adding them together and doing 14. No. It is the proverbial two birds, one stone thingamabob. First the rules and then the random weirdness:

The rules are as follows:
# Link to the person who tagged you
# Post the rules on your blog.
# Share seven random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog.
# Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
# Leave a comment on their blogs so that they know they have been tagged.

1. *Disclaimer: If you're a man and reading this you may want to avert your eyes to prevent bleeding eye wounds - you were warned* I get my period on holidays. Nine times out of ten my special friend wants to celebrate with me. Fourth of July, Valentine's Day (yeah, hi! That's right), Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Flag Day. You name it. And either Christmas or New Years but only because they're a week apart so it's never both. But definitely one of the two.

2. A comment that I left on a Glamour Magazine blog was published in last months edition (with Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey on the cover). I discovered this while reading the issue on the plane during our trip back east. They used my TOOTSIEFARKLEPANTS handle and it was in regards to cleavage in the workplace. And for the record: I'm against it. There's a time and a place for it people. If you want to be taken seriously in business, keep the girls in the shirt.

3. At my 6th grade graduation I was presented with the Friendship Award. The entire 6th grade voted and one boy and one girl were selected. This award was akin to being most popular and I was certain my best friend Wendy would get it. So was she. And it pretty much ended our friendship. Somewhere in my mother's photo albums lurks a picture of my acceptance at the podium and Wendy glaring at me from the risers. Sour grapes = find new best friend in junior high school.

4. I had the chicken pox when I was 13 years old. Why yes, it was pure hell, thanks for asking. I lived in an apartment building and was the resident babysitter so I was exposed to all the infants, tots, and small children who were little petri dishes of infection. My mother was mostly sure that I had already had it when I was two. She was mistaken. I've never, to this day, been as sick as I was then. I missed 3 weeks of school, lost 20 pounds, and became addicted to Benadryl. I also looked like a monster. There was not one centimeter on my body that didn't have a blister. When I say it was everywhere, please, feel free to use your imagination.

5. I've only broken one bone my whole life. My right pinkie finger. Twice. There's not even a good story behind it. I'm so ashamed. The first episode happened while walking home from elementary school when I tripped and fell. In my attempt to hang on to my belongings, I landed on my pinkie. The second time I was doing a cartwheel. In my friend's living room. Obviously, I did it wrong.

6. For one of my teen birthdays I received a set of satin sheets. I also received a pair of satin pajamas. Let's just say that the two together prevent you from getting into bed. I discovered this when eagerly jumping into bed that night...and sliding out the other side.

7. I've moved a total of 18 times in my entire life. Sometimes from one unit to another in the same apartment building. All within a 50 mile radius of my birthplace. My current home is the longest I've ever lived in one place.

Next on the Random It List -and noticing that I really need to update my blogroll:

The Mom Bomb
Bad Mom
Hope for the Hopeless
A Mom Two Boys
Never A Dull Moment
Don Mills Diva
As You Wish

My Life In Google Images

Lulu has one of those "tag your ownself" meme's going on over at her place. It was fun so I did! Tag myself that is. The rules for this meme are (and to quote Lulu herself): "to answer the questions below using only pictures found online (only the first page of results). So here goes…"

1. The age you will be on your next birthday. Dressed as an infant?

2. A place you’d like to visit. Just not anytime soon.

3. Your favorite place. My house. Although this is not my house. I wish it were.

4. Your favorite object. I spend so much time on it that it MUST be!

5. Your favorite food. I am fancy.

6. Your favorite animal. You should fear the llama's mad skilz.

7. Your favorite color. Also my favorite planet.

8. The city in which you were born. Apparently on a studio lot. Am I just a prop?

9. The town in which you live. I live in Postcard.

10. The name of your pet. No, no, not fetus. You're getting warmer!

11. The first name of your love. I'm horrified that this is one of my picture choices.

12. Your nickname/screen name. You can just call me Drag Queen, since we're close.

13. Your middle name. I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation.

14. Your last name. My last name is: Delicious.

15. A bad habit of yours. This needs no *$&#! commentary.

16. Your first job. Sucked large amounts of poop.

17. Your dream job. *sigh*

18. Your current job. I think that says it all.

19. A picture you find hilarious. I'm laughing now!

20. A picture that inspires you. In so many ways.

*all photos from Google images*

Don't Cry For Meme Blogosphere!

So, tomorrow I'm leaving at dark o'thirty, getting aboard a total of three planes - not all at once. I probably didn't have to clarify that, but just in case you haven't had your coffee yet - with three kids, jumping hodgepodge across the country; and hopefully, weather permitting and if we don't get delayed at O'Hare make too many wrong turns in Albekoikie, and all that jazz: will end up in Virginia sometime before midnight. I will be gone for 10 days. Shhh...shhhh...it's okay. Come here. Give me some love...shhh...Mama knows. Mama knows. Dry those beautiful eyes. Better? I can't guarantee that I'll be able to update but I'll try. In the meantime, I leave you with this meme that I was tagged with by Jim at the Busy Dad Blog who admittedly is parenting without a helmet. The rebel! That is BOLD! Mine is firmly in place and I've got the hat head to prove it. Okay, so first:
The Rules:
1.Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.
2.Pick your month of birth.
3.Copy-paste the traits for all the twelve months (see below).
4.Highlight the traits that apply to you and if you would like write some wit or not.
5.Tag 12 people and let them know by visiting their blogs and leaving a comment for them.
6.Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve done it!

I'm an October baby, so here goes:
OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Um. It depends on with whom I'm chatting. Some people, not so much.
Loves those who loves them. Sure. Ya, why not? Unless it's some kind of creepy stalker love, then no.
Loves to take things at the center. I don't even know what this means. What things? The center of what? What center? What?
Inner and physical beauty. Does it make me conceited if I say yes?
Lies but doesn’t pretend. WTF? Did this thing just call me a liar?
Gets angry often. At inanimate objects, yes. And things that call me a liar.
Treats friends importantly. Well, my friends are VIPs. Yes.
Always making friends. Online, yes. In real time I'm an avoider of new people. I do make many acquaintances, however.
Easily hurt but recovers easily.Boo hoo. That was MEAN! Okay I'm over it.
Daydreamer. This is an understatement.
Opinionated. You've read my blog. You tell me.
Does not care of what others think. This is usually true. Depends on who the "others" are.
Emotional. Only during certain cycles of the female persuasion.
Decisive. Are you kidding? I'm queen of coin flipping in the decision making department.
Strong clairvoyance. WTF? Did this thing just call me a psychic?
Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Yes, yes, and yes.
Touchy and easily jealous. Touchy sometimes. Jealous, not so much.
Concerned. That this meme is calling me a lying psychic.
Loves outdoors. Me? Are you serious? Let's get one thing straight: Me+Camping=Not unless I have too and there is no hotel in sight. If there is no working toilet there is no Tootsie.
Just and fair. That IS the Libra in me. Otherwise I would be totally unjust and unfair.
Spendthrift. Who's been peeking at my credit card statements? I'll have you know I HAD to have those things! HAD TOO!
Easily influenced. Baaaa! Maybe once upon a time. Now, not so much.
Easily loses confidence. I'll show this meme who's boss. I will meet it at the flagpole after school. Does this blog make me look fat?
Loves children. Especially my own. Not so keen on the unsupervised darlings that show up at my table in Starbucks. Please go find your mother.

So there you have it. I'm also not tagging 12 people. In fact, I'm tagging no one. But I will leave you with the months and their corresponding attributes that may or may not apply to you. Then, if you're feeling particularly bored adventurous, you can tag your ownself (not a word). Bon Voyage (that's Fray-uhnch)!

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

Eight Is Enough Is An Understatement

8 is not enough. 8 is too many. What were these people thinking?

I've been tagged with an 8 Things Meme by JCK over at Motherscribe. I know many people aren't fond of these but I like 'em. Even though when I started to really think about it...isn't the person tagged "it" in the game of tag; the loser? So, without further ado, here is the 8 Things Meme about my loser self.

8 Things I'm passionate about:
1. My children, husband, and family (kinda goes without saying)
2. Helping those in need (I should do more)
3. My intense dislike for GW Bush (elevates my blood pressure)
4. Writing (is my release)
5. Equality (for EVERYONE)
6. Tolerance (can't we all just get along?)
7. Chocolate frosting (best when kept in the fridge)
8. Clothes (fashion is my passion)
8 Things I want to do before I die:
1. Go to Paris and EAT TREMENDOUS AMOUNTS OF FOOD (French food is my favorite)
2. Meet the Queen of England because I think she's classy and I'm impressed by her
3. Kiss George Clooney on the mouth - open if possible
4. Fly as a passenger in a private jet, preferably with the subject from #3
5. Own a home on a beach
6. Be a grandmother (just not right now)
7. Get published and/or optioned
8. Attend Fashion week in New York, London, Milan, or Paris...I'm not picky
8 Things I say often:
1. Totally (I was a teenager in the 80's in the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles...it stuck)
2. Like (see above)
3. Oh my God (this is getting redundant)
4. Sorry (I'm always apologizing unnecessarily)
5. Holy Smokes (in an effort to curb profanity I've become Batman)
6. Good Grief (and Charlie Brown)
7. What (I should really get my hearing checked)
8. Stop (with 3 kids this needs no explanation)
8 books I've read recently:

1. Twas the Night Before Christmas
2. Twas the Night Before Christmas (I read it twice, different authors and illustrators so it counts)
3. Rebels on the Backlot by Sharon Waxman
4. On Acting by Sanford Meisner
5. Brokeback Mountain by Annie Proulx
6. Why I'm Still Married: Women Write Their Hearts Out on Love, Loss, Sex, and Who Does the Dishes by Karen Propp and Jean Trounstine
7. How Not To Write A Screenplay by Denny Martin Flinn
8. Various and countless magazines. I'm out of books I can remember, guys.
8 Songs I can listen to over and over:
1. Woman by John Lennon
2. Imagine by John Lennon
3. Fire by Jimmy Hendrix (best driving fast song ever!)
4. Beastie Boys entire Licensed to Ill album (totally cheating but I cannot choose)
5. Come On Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners
6. Strip by Adam Ant
7. Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees
8. Jesse's Girl by Rick Springfield (don't act like you don't. Everybody loves this song!)
8 things that attract me to my best friends:
1. Their scent (No. Not really. But I freaked you out for a second, didn't I?)
2. They make me laugh. A lot. Like Julia Roberts guffaw style.
3. Our history (We've all been close a couple of years shy of 2 decades)
4. Know how to have a good time
5. Laid back attitude
6. The ability to pick up where we left off when we last saw one another
7. Their intelligence
8. Their ability to take it to the grave or let it stay in Vegas (and "it" is none of your bidness)
8 People who should TOTALLY do this meme:
Okay. I'm totally breaking the chain and some horribleness may befall me, but I've tagged too many people with memes lately and I don't want to tick anyone off. So I'm tagging exactly zero people. If you'd like to partake, g'head! Let me know and I'll come read. Promise!

Excuse Me Miss, Your Meme Is Showing

I've been tagged by Monica at Ya...About that.. with a "Seven Random Things About Me" meme! I'm quite grateful as it gives me something to blog about. There's nothing going on today; unless you'd rather hear about how I ate yet another brownie (why won't those things just be gone already?) and took a shower. The end. Funny stuff, eh? Now, coming up with 7 random things that are also interesting enough to read? Not so easy. Hopefully, you won't get a severe case of the nods while reading my random factiness (not a word). First, the obligatory posting of the meme rules:

Link to the person who tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
Share 7 facts about yourself.
Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. I fell asleep at a Judas Priest concert circa 1989. One would not think this possible, what with all the head banging going on. And the loudness. I think it had something to do with the tainted hot dog I consumed prior to taking my seat. It nearly killed me. And the being able to sleep through that racket was the first sign of impending doom.

2. I get very angry at inanimate objects. When I hit myself in the head while blow drying my hair; it's the hairdryers fault for being so stupid. If the liquid from a tuna can squirts onto my shirt; the can opener will hear about it in a very LOUD VOICE. If I take out the door jam with my shoulder, it isn't because I'm terribly clumsy I am; it must be because it sensed I was coming into the room and moved over a 1/4 of an inch and it will be put on notice.

3. I enjoy doing laundry. Too much. I've been known to sniff the clothes during the folding process. I nearly had a nervous breakdown when my washing machine died in October. I could not wait the two weeks for Sears to send someone out to give me an estimate; who knows how long I'd have to wait for it to be repaired! No. We had to replace it immediately. And all was right with the world. I also like my laundry detergent to smell like soap and not a meadow or a beach. And I'm suspicious of those who do. What scent are they trying to disguise?

4. I love cereal. I mean I LOOOOVE cereal. Hot or cold. I will eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I will skip a for real dinner just to have cereal. I'm sure that whenever I go in for a check up, the doctor will be alarmed at my elevated levels of riboflavin. My mother cannot comprehend why I would order oatmeal in a restaurant. Are you kidding? Have you seen the portions? Oh lawdy!

5. I'm somewhat claustrophobic. And for this reason I will never learn to scuba dive or go spelunking. It sounds like hell. In my version of hell there is wind (why? because I really despise wind), snorkels, oxygen tanks, weight belts, and dark caves. And I will be there with mussed hair, a spec of debris in my eye, breathing through a mouthpiece, with the bends; in the dark.

6. I have this very bad habit of putting off the need to eat until my blood sugar drops to dangerous levels and causes extreme bitchiness. When I get hungry, I have to eat within a few minutes or everyone around me will pay. Possibly with their lives. Mr. Farklepants will tell you the importance of getting me some sustenance. I've come this close to eating one of our kids. A couple of times.

7. I do not like to be woken up in the middle of the night. If I'm asleep you better have a damn good reason for rousing me. I'm so not cool after midnight.

Now for the tagging. You can run but you cannot hide.
Madame Queen at Madame Queen
Karen at The Rocking Pony
ALF at I Shot A Man In Reno
Mrs. G at Derfwad Manor
Badness Jones

I know that's only 5 of you but I didn't want to tag people that I just recently tagged. I don't want to be that pest that people avoid when they see you coming.

I've Got a Little Christmas Meme on My Face

I've been tagged by Madame Queen with a Christmas meme! (I wonder if they make a salve for that) As you can imagine; I'm very excited about it. It is my very first ever meme tagging. Madame Queen has done gone and made me a woman. So as not to let her down, I will list my favorite Christmas gift that I received from my childhood, my favorite from my adulthood, and a gift I would like to receive in the future. And then I will tag three of you by leaving you a comment on your blog. Probably something clever like "you're it".

The Gift I Wish I Still Had From My Childhood: A black velvet party dress (I was about 8ish years old) that I had seen in some hoity-toity specialty shop in some fancy-shmancy part of town that we had no business being in; because we could not afford anything in the store. We were poor. I mean, "eat Spam sandwiches for dinner every night" kind of poor. But while my grandmother and mother window shopped I stood by the marvelous dress. I stroked the soft velvet fabric. I fluffed the white crinoline that filled the underneath. I fingered (and I just giggled) the black satin sash with tiny red roses, the poufy white sleeves, and the ruffled collar. It was very poufy. Like 1950's "Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus" poufy. I don't know if my mother stole it; or what couch she found two nickels in to rub together. But beg, borrow, or steal this dress was under our tree come Christmas morning. And I wore it every chance I got. Even if that was just to sit on the couch to watch "Charlie's Angels" after school. And I'm pretty sure I looked like one of the Von Trapp kids in it. But I loved it more than anything EVER! I wore out Google on the Internets trying to find some resemblance of this dress. It is NOT TO BE FOUND.

Most Awesomest Gift from Adulthood: This was hard. Because at first I thought "Oh that's easy! That would be the Lexus GX470 that Mr. Farkelpants gave to me in 2004; in a very 'Lexus December to Remember commercial' kind of way!" Except that it was February and it had nothing whatsoever to do with Christmas. But I'm going to brag on him anyway because this IS the most splendiferous gift I've received in my adulthood! I needed a new car. We test drove several. We decided on the Toyota Sequoia. We test drove the Lexus because we get our kicks by wasting car salesmen's time. We are sick like that. We had also refinanced our mortgage at a jaw dropping lower rate at this time. Because we are smart like that. So we went out to dinner to celebrate and afterwards the valet brought my shiny new Lexus around **sheen...sparkle...sparkle***. SURPRISE! And I had what a doctor would describe as an extremely mild myocardial infarction. Which is just a fancy word for "wannabe heart attack". Mr. Farklepants rarely does surprise gifts; but when he does, he does not feck around.

What I'd Like to See Under My Tree in the Future: I would like two tickets to paradise, please. Tahiti to be precise. Since Mr. Farkelpants and I married over 11 years ago, we have never taken a vacation. Together. That didn't involve a family commitment. Or without kids. Unless joining him at a convention in Las Vegas constitutes a "vacation for the two of us". Which, I will tell you right now. It does not.

So now for the hard part. Choosing three people to tag. I mean, I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings. I admire all of you but I can only choose three. Those is the rules. So I'm choosing these people for the following reasons:
JCK at Motherscribe : She told me that she thought I was funny then went and linked me on her site. All you have to do is tell me I'm funny or pretty and you can very well have your way with me. I'm so easy. And, she has an affinity for lists!
Melanie at BeanPaste :Because her children are reading their "My First French Book" and that totally kicks that proudful mother's ass in the Hooked on Phonics commercial.
1blueshi1 The Stay at Home Mom Going Quickly Insane : This woman has her holiday party outfit all planned out and ordered a back up outfit just in case she doesn't pull off the first quite the way she'd imagined she would. Any woman who puts that much consideration into clothes is a kindred spirit o'mine.

And to the tagged, as Madame Queen said (and I quote) "Feel free to use the gorgeous "Christmas Past, Present, Future" button that Burgh Baby's Mom created. And then tag three more people."

Getter done!