Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Open Letter to Retailers

Dear Retail Establishments,

Back to school shopping is upon us and I've made some observations about the clothes you sell for small children. First of all, this is southern California in a district where school will commence mid August. Helpful tip: more summer clothes and less SWEATERS and long sleeved shirts. These will not be worn on someone's person until November. And speaking of pants, which we weren't, but they fall in the category of fall clothing - what's the deal with the double buttons and ohmyhell attached belts? You do realize that these sizes also include those for the four to six year age range. Have you met a child that age, in the midst of a pee pee dance, that can wrestle themselves out of multiple buttons, a zipper, and a belt - at least in time to prevent utter humiliation resulting [I swear to GAWD I cannot type "result" without typing "reslut" first] in a necessary trip for the parent to the school armed with a fresh set of clothes when he or she gets that call from the school nurse that they have so-n-so in the office and (s)he's had an accident?

No? Well, please consider your target market. While we're on the subject of buttons [and we totally are this time] make the hole bigger. If me and my big meaty paws have to struggle getting the button through the hole then you can bet your sweet bippy that a child's fingers do not have the muscle for such a feat.

Skirts. Make them LONGER. These are girls. Children. Not hooers. And if you're going to insist on that length; make them skorts. If I have to pair every skirt with leggings, you're just adding an unnecessary cost to my back to school shopping bill. Plus, it's hot. Leggings in the summer are sweaty.

Also, less glitter on shit.

That's all for now.

Begrudgingly yours,
Tootsie

p.s. Target, wth? It's July in southern California so why are your bathing suits shoved in a clearance area and severely lacking in any variety? Someone should take note that people in this area purchase bathing suits year round, but most especially, during SUMMER!

29 comments:

abby said...

SO with you on this. I fear the day my girls are old enough to pick out their own clothes just because of the options available to them. it's sick really the styles expected to be put on young children.

I hope it's changed by the time we get to that section.

Sue said...

Seriously! We just got out of school at the end of June and as soon as the 4th passed, we were getting comm. for 'back to school'.
Let us ENJOY summer! I try not to do back to school shopping until October, when shorts are no longer plausible.

Karen said...

I did notice the flyers had Back-to-School sales going on this week. WTF????? Can we enjoy our (limited to rain but still) summer first?

marybt said...

YEAH! Take THAT, retailers! And while you're at it, please remove the $6 glittery light up bounce ball from eye level at the register. Thanks in advance.

hokgardner said...

I live in Texas, where it will still be in the triple digits when school starts. I hate walking into the stores and finding sweaters and long pants - it's like adding insult to injury.

hulagirlatheart said...

I keep thinking the hootchie mama styles for kids will fade away since they've been on the racks for about four years, now but they don't. Geez. I'm tired of fighting with my kid over short skirts. Hell, I'm tired of the hootchie mama look for women my age.

Molly said...

Good stuff.

I see girl's clothes and they make my heart hurt.

I am so thankful I have a boy and he insists on soccer shirts and shorts year round...makes life easy.

I am also thankful that hoochie wear was not popular when I was a kid or my mama would have had a heck of a struggle on her hands ;)

Yes, I was a harlot in the makin' at the we age of 10 (I thought it was "glamorous")

MommyTime said...

I wrote EXACTLY this post in reverse one year in January in Michigan, when all the cute spring clothes were making an appearance, and we were still shoveling snow every. single. damn. day. All I needed was a few long-sleeved shirts for my preschooler who had unaccountable grown a whole size since October, which OF COURSE happens at this age, and all I could find were little crop tops and tanks. Retailers are weather idiots.

Persnickety Ticker said...

Don't even get me started on Target's marketing wackiness. I went into a Target in JANUARY looking for a pair of gloves and was told promptly by an employee that they only sell gloves in Aug. - Oct. WTF? Here in FL winter happens in February! (That is, if we even get a winter.)

I loathe that they are trying to shove long sleeves and hootchie-mama clothes at us already. I have almost perfected my technique of buying summer clothes in appropriate sizes way ahead of time.

As far as the bathing suits? They are on clearance here too, even though we Floridians are in the water until at least until Thanksgiving.

It's just insane! Oh, and I love "You bet your sweet bippy" and am going to use that term every chance I get! Thanks!

calicobebop said...

Give 'em hell! I totally agree - these are children!! Also, we have had the same trouble with swim suits. I suppose one must buy them in April? Frustrating!

Sue @ My Party of 6 said...

I so agree. I once went off on a Target employee when I went in there in January during a snowstorm and they did not have gloves. Bikinis, yes. Glove. Ha. Does anyone really shop that far ahead? They are losing my money for sure!

And I am with you on the hooker-wear. WTF?

Jen on the Edge said...

Having started the shopping with my upper elementary girls, I am here to tell you that skirts with cropped leggings are all the rage. Never mind that we live in Virginia, where the cool fall breezes may or not even appear until late October. *sigh*

Both of my girls seem to think that they'll be wearing their cool new jeans with t-shirts and great hoodies on August 25 when they go back to school. Um, no, probably not.

Martie said...

And make sure you furnish coffee. Or alcohol, for the parents. This is stressful stuff, shopping for kids, WITH kids.

Rebecca said...

I just love it when you post. It is sooo true! We'll be wearing shorts for a long while yet here in FL and they are already getting hard to find (it is nice to be able to get stuff on SALE though!) Fortunately I have boys so I don't have to worry about them wanting to wear the hooker look...

Kelly said...

Oh, the bathing suit thing infuriates me! If want to get one that fits and is not an embarrassing granny print, I have to buy in March. I haven't even started shaving my legs in March!

Crystal said...

Yeah..I live in Phoenix - I was 111 flippin' degrees, and Target is carrying sweaters and jeans. Seriously...WTF?? The coldest it gets here is like 60, and that's not until January. BUT, I do have to admit that us Phoenicians get a tad chilly when the weather drops below 80 - which is hardly ever, but still. :) Amen on the hoochie wear, what the heck are they trying to do to our little girls - and totally agreed on the button/belt/sash thing on the kids clothes - they should just make all waists elastic until kids are 8 yrs old.

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Hooers is now officially my new favorite word.

JoeinVegas said...

Less glitter? Come on, it's all about the glitter.

MamaHen Em said...

Amen sista! Yesterday I sent my five year old to school with a dress over a pair of shorts and a tank top on underneath as well. Why? Because I don't want either her bosoms or her bottom showing and apparently makers of clothing for her age group don't understand that.

Don't even get me started on the swimsuit issue. . .

Tara Smith said...

Amem, sister! 'Specially about the glitter. OH MAH GAWSH it annoys me!!!

Lynette said...

I will be printing this out and taking this to the Target closest to my house. LOL

Michelle said...

NO KIDDING! I couldn't buy my daughter any pants w/ buttons for years because she would just end up in tears. And she's probably never worn a skirt to school either because you just never know when it might fly up, and how embarrasing!!

December said...

The only thing I could calmly think while reading your brilliant blog about kids clothes was "Thank god I have boys. Thank GOD I have boys. thank god I have BOYS!"

Sigh, its a different world parenting one sex.

Madame Queen said...

I hope you don't mind, but I'm stealing "Less glitter on shit" as my personal motto.

kelly said...

Ok. So is there ANYONE who likes the current trend in girl clothes? My daughters shorts are all hand me downs from her brother because the shorts are longer. If we didn't have enough hand me downs I was planning to buy her shorts from the boys dept. And the skirts! OMG! My daughter is tall for her age so if I get her a skirt that fits around the waist it's way too short. If I get one that is a decent length, she needs a belt to hold it up. GAH! Skorts are just as bad. She's 4. She's doesn't need her butt cheeks hanging out. No one does.

I used to live in GA and the school system did start the second week of August so for them this would be the appropriate time for back to school. However, it is usually still in the upper 90's when school starts so hoodies, jeans and long sleeve tees aren't really needed yet.

I stopped buying stuff to hold until they grow into it because they are at that age where they want to pick out their own stuff and may not be interested in the item 6 months from now.

Whew. Ok. Thank you, Tootsie, Apparently I needed to get that out of my system.

Anonymous said...

Same problem here in TN. Our weather is unpredictable. On Christmas Day,there could be 6 inches of snow or it may be 70 degrees. I just don't want to look at sweaters. The heat index today was 105.
My 11 year old just started her second year in private school and can only wear uniforms from a particular uniform shop. My 9 year old is in her last year at public school & there's a new system-wide dresscode. This child's legs are as long as mine. Instead of paying a reasonable $10 for a pair of shorts/skorts/jumper, I had to slap down $34 apiece at the uniform shop b/c they were the only ones that touched the top of her knees.
Sheesh!
Ame in West TN

Nil Zed said...

oh my gosh. I have a toddler. I'm trying to begin toilet training. All the pants in his size have buttons and zippers. He can barely deal with elastic waist pants, if I could find any.

Plus, yes, he outgrew his bathing suit and I can't find any in the next size up. I'm in Southern California, the pool we go to is heated, even if I find one the size he needs, he may well out grow it as well before the new year.

(and count me as another who is so glad not to have a girl child in this era of hootchie wear. When my girls were in high school though, we had an awful time finding appropriate dresses for dances and such, mostly we found red carpet type dresses, cut too high and too low. Fine for someone whose income depends on looking flashy, not so good for a girl going to prom. At least, in THIS mom's opinion!

Maybe we should start a movement'Parents for sensible clothing options'

Moxy Jane said...

I have mentally written this very same letter every stinking year. I live in Central Texas. We have two WEEKS of chilly weather. It's still 100 degrees in early October. And yet, the stores sell SEASONAL clothing as if we were Vermont. This season, vinyl pants for six year old seems to be the new rage. Egads. Who are the pedophiles that come up with this garbage?!

I nominate YOU, Tootsie, as our head writer in a letter-writing-campaign to rid us all of this nonsense. Go to it!!

Stef said...

Hey, we share the same rant! Here in California, even in the mountains, it's still HOT for the first two more months of school!
And what's up with the wannabe rock star clothes for tweens?! Tacky, tacky, tacky. My daughter walked the entire mall and she didn't want any of it. She chose the basics at Old Navy.