Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Gonna Need a Price Check on that, Herb

When I am shopping, I have this amazingly annoying ability to grab the one item that does not contain a price tag. I can pick up two of one item, compare, decide which one I want and put the one WITH THE PRICE back on the shelf. Depending on where I shop, this can be a problem. Some retailers know their merchandise and it's absolutely not an inconvenience to the people standing in line behind me because the clerk does not miss a beat in ringing me up. Then there are those other stores where the cashier expects the customer to know exactly how much each item in their shopping cart costs.

For instance today. I had a handful of stuffs and the ten items or less aisle was clear. The scanning of said items was moving along quite nicely, albeit slowly, until the plastic container used to transport liquids made it into the cashiers hot little hands. That's when everything came to a screeching halt. "There's no price", she says - out loud. But the look on her face indicated that this was a problem with which I was to deal.

I know it's hard to determine from this blog but I'm normally an easy going kinda gal. But this was the ten items or less lane and I had ten minutes to finish up this bullpucky and pick up my kid from school. -And I was already mad about the fact that it was raining on my car the one I just got washed yesterday and that the hem of my pants and up to my ankles were soaked I do not like to be wet. Put Tootsie in wet clothes and you get one cranky Tootsie- So I says to the lady, okay well it's like a dollar-sixty-seven or something. Because believe it or not I did not memorize the exact price of everything I decided to buy, shocker, I know right?

Perhaps I should have stated the price with some authority...It's A DOLLAR SIXTY SEVEN! and left out the "like" and the "or something" because then she was all, we're going to have to check. Really? REALLY? It's not like I was trying to make off with a Blu Ray player for a buck sixty seven! It was a little plastic container, not quite Rubbermaid but graduated from Ziplock. For this she was going to hold up the express lane as long as I was willing to play along. And who was this "we" to which she refers? I don't work there. Does she think I'm going to run to the back of the store for a buck sixty seven? ohmygod-no.

You know what? She didn't want me to either. She was willing to lose that sale than have to find out the price...or BELIEVE THE WORDS THAT WERE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH. I know this because the rest of my items weren't allowed to be rung up until I blinked in this stare off. She stood there. Staring at me. Holding the item up for my review. Daring me.

Forget it, I don't want it. I tell her. I think I saw a slow small smile creep across her face. And I swear to GAWD I heard someone in line behind me heave a sigh of relief. And to that dude, you're welcome because I totally could have been that customer.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

That'll teach you to shop at Walmart. ;)

Tootsie Farklepants said...

You were there! :)

MamaHen Em said...

Oh I was that customer, just yesterday while trying to shop for a bridal shower gift. Everyone in line behind me was quite unhappy, given the eight other associates wouldn't come open another register for those poor folks!

scargosun said...

Life happens. It was the store's fault for not having the prices tag so lazy little teen should have gotten someone to look or done it herself.

JoeinVegas said...

Reminds me of the SNL skit about the new 99 cent store cashier that kept calling back for price checks. Next time don't blink, it's her problem not yours.
And move to Vegas if you don't like wet. We get 3" of rain a year (in wet years)

slow panic said...

i hate when i don't have time to be THAT customer.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Like Slow Panic, I love being that customer. Especially to THAT clerk.
But most of the time I'm like you.

Lynette said...

LOL. Yep. Sometimes, you totally HAVE to be *that* customer. But only if you have the time to do it properly.

MelADramatic Mommy said...

I would have done it and then handed her a coupon. :D

Stu said...

One reason I refuse to / can't / won't shop at Walmart.

-Stu

Jason, as himself said...

Well, in my experience, if you just say that it is forty seven cents in a bold voice, looking straight at the cashier, they will just believe you. And you've made a steal!

Aunt Snow said...

Great to see you last night. And Girl is quite the charmer!

The Lady in Pearls said...

Ok, I always manage to get in the line, with my box 'o wine, and the checker that doesn't look underaged and doesn't have the sign saying that she can't sell me my beverage....and then we have to wait.....and wait....for a cleark that is old enough. And I try not to look at the people in line behind me, because I know they think I'm some lush that just needs to put the wine down and walk away!

The Lady in Pearls said...

Of course, I meant clerk, not cleark! Crap my first comment - after I've been stalking you forever - and I screwed it up. I'll go home now.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Don't go! When speaking I almost always somehow screw up the first sentence. You're right at home here.

stephanie (bad mom) said...

Damn. I would have told her to figure out the price, turned around to invite everyone behind me to Happy Hour-my treat, then told the clerk "nevermind" when she came back. But you didn't have that kind of time; I understand.

JCK said...

Oh, I've been to that cashier so many times...

Great to see you at the Bossy meet-up!! It's been too long.

Diane J. said...

Hee, hee, hee. Love this post.

FlourGirl said...

There are stores that still use actual price tags? Who knew!

Orion said...

I dare the cashier to expect me to be understanding about his/her lackadaisical work ethic. I am the embodiment of THAT customer. I was once at an Olive Garden eating lunch. I love salad and I love soup, so there is a winning combination in that one. After three bowls of soup, the waitress decided she was going to be my personal Richard Simmons-type savior and cut me off. I waited and then waited some more. My wife saw what was about to happen with a mixture of silent-glee and horror. I found another waiter to fetch the manager for me. I then went on a tirade about the shitty service. As you can imagine, the meals of all people at my table was free. My former waitress was less than happy about losing her tip for her own laziness.

My opinion is, if people who working in service-positions don't like to do their jobs, they should find gainful employment elsewhere. I did food-service for the first six years of my working life. I didn't like it, but I never let the customers know.

Okay...back to the regular programming.

Nil Zed said...

I'm totally that customer, esp. now that I have a near pre-schooler instead of a potentially screeching baby/toddler. Cause I will totally pull out a toy and/or a snack and settle in for the wait. AND I will totally complain about having to wait with the people behind me, because, after all, it's not my fault.

Once some guy several people behind me tried to say something implying that it was my fault. But the two ladies in between us were already my buddies by now, he
didn't stand a chance.

If they ask me, I'm prepared to toss off a reasonable suggestion of a price. If you sound like you know, they'll often just go with it.