Sunday, June 6, 2010

I Wonder if I can Order a Clone with One-Click Shopping on Amazon?

All of the end of the school year activities are piling up on each other and when you have more than one child it is inevitable that some of these events will happen on the same day. At the same time. And there is only one you. Boy-Child#1 had his last day of school this past Thursday and all I can say is, thank GAWD. Because, as much fun as these events are, and the frustration stems from logistics, it's frustration nonetheless. I won't bore you with all of the conflicting occasions because, there are and were many, but instead we'll just focus on Tuesday, June 2nd. In the course of this day the following were scheduled:

  • 4th Grade Gold Rush Days. An all day affair in which I was scheduled to serve hot dogs from noon to 1pm to four (five?) 4th grade classrooms with about 30 children per class.
  • Get Boy-Child#1 to a mandatory dress rehearsal for the entertainment portion of his junior high school team bbq/awards ceremony happening later that evening (originally scheduled sometime the last week of May). This mandatory meeting began at 1pm and ended at 2pm. I didn't get home until 1:30pm.
  • Have Boy-Child#2 back at his elementary school by 4:30pm to perform in his class play starting at 4:45pm. Which didn't start until 5pm.
  • Have Boy-Child#1 and family at the junior high team bbq/awards ceremony... at 5pm. Also deliver 2 cases of water in an ice chest by 4:45pm.
And because it is a physical impossibility to be in two places at once, here is how the situation unfolded: Boy-Child#1 missed his mandatory rehearsal. Period. We didn't get to the bbq/awards ceremony until 6pm; fifteen minutes before Boy-Child#1 was to take the stage and play The Star Spangled Banner -all Jimmi Hendrix/Slash style on his guitar- for approximately 400 students and their families. This included frantic texting from his friends saying things like, "Dude! Where are you! The teachers are FREAKING OUT!" and "Mrs. So-n-So is mad! Where are you?!?!" -written in text speak, obvs. So I got us there with fifteen minutes to spare and now all I had to do was find a nice strong and willing Dad to give me a hand with the amp -aka The Behemoth- because I would have a stroke if I tried to carry that thing from the car to the stage. I mean, I could do it, but it would take some time. What with all the stopping and resting.

The problem is, I'm quite shy. So I had to find a dad I knew. But I know relatively few dads because of the aforementioned shyness. So I had to find a fellow mom and ask if her husband would be a doll and do me a solid. He did. And for that I thank him.

I was on my own to get it back to the car at the end of the night. And we totally had to pick up dinner AT NINE O'CLOCK because we missed the bbq altogether.

The end.


Jason, as himself said...

They served hot dogs during the Gold Rush? I have taught fourth grade and that is something I never knew. :)

Just think, after this is all over, you'll have a wide open summer of nothingness. Right? Right?

smalltownme said...

If you're shy, I'm catatonic.

JoeinVegas said...

Come on, you know that in 20 years you will be boooorrrrreeeedd.

tashile said...

Holy Hell! Yesterday was my birthday, but it felt like happy day for my children because the day seemed to unfold similarly. My wife kept giving me knowing glances throughout the day, because I was think the whole time where is Daddy's personal butler...with some f*&king Prozac. It's as if you had grace and poise through the ordeal. I, on the other hand, shouted obscenities at the tourists that pour in from a neighboring state (yes, even on a Monday) into the only cool place in the state on a 104 temperature day in this pit of Hell that I live you can tell, my Prozac never arrived....

Natalie | Make Today Great said...

Busy-ness is such a bane of life. We get busy to enjoy life - and then we end up so stressed we can't. I am so there - and it is a love-hate.

If you find that clone button, let me know.

JCK said...

I feel like you've been channeling me lately. I really do. Maybe I should just have blog posts that read, "Go read Tootsie." I will be her clone. :)

cactus petunia said...

Maybe instead of cloning yourself, you should pull a Nancy Reagan and "just say NO!" or if that fails, "No !#@%* way!"
Yeah. I know. I never had the guts to do that either...