Sunday, January 25, 2009

Now a Little Something From the Keyword Activity Files

I haven't checked the search terms in my stat counter that bring people to my blog in quite some time. And frankly, I should do this more often. That's just free entertainment, people. Let's cut right to the chase, shall we? **all typos and improper grammar are intentional**

1. Canadian Girl Doll vs. American Girl Doll

Now I don't know what image this conjures up for you but I picture a boxing ring. The Canadian doll wears a maple leaf on her chest like Superman's "S" and the American Girl doll is wearing the US flag as a cape. The American Girl is taunting, "bring it biatch!" and the Canadian Girl is all, "how did I get here, eh? What's all this aboot?".

2. Do bed bugs come from pee and juice on the couch?

First, ew. And then I'm going to wager - neither. And also? Wouldn't those be couch bugs and what's a bed got to do with it?

3. Fun things to do with your American Girl Doll

You mean besides boxing? Nine times out of ten they probably end up like any other kind of doll: naked and in compromising positions.

4. Do Olympic gymnast wear pads or tampons?

I think the answer fairly obvious but fortheloveofgod why would someone need to know this?

5. Vintage sex animation

Hey. Whatever gets your motor running. Who am I to judge?

6. If your 21 and still don't have facial hair is something wrong?


AND...

7. My daughters have facial hair

These two should talk.

And our winner:

8. Naughty Allie giving sweet whipcream humdinger


Naughty Allie doesn't live here but tell us more about this sweet whipped cream humdinger!

20 comments:

smalltownmom said...

My most common search term is "Slash's Real Name."

Melissa said...

OMG, you give lessons on how to give a humdinger on your site? I need that link ;)

And I thought some of my searches were odd! Yikes!

kelly said...

So do you see these searches and think "WTF did I write that would make them hit my blog with that search?"

Now I am a recent Vintage Thirty devotee and haven't perused the archives, but is there really an entry that would cause your blog to pop up when someone searched for "Naughty Allie Gives a Sweet Cream Humdinger"? I may have to poke around some more.

stephanie (bad mom) said...

Please, for the love of God, tell me how to find out people's search terms for my site. This is, indeed, free entertainment that I could use far more of, frankly...

I will undoubtedly have fantastically fun dreams of about dolls boxing. Bless you :D

Hanna said...

Thanx for the amusing insights. Did the same a couple weeks ago and was quite astounded to see WHAT some people are actually looking for when directed to my blog.
Btw, I'm one of those "lurkers", but I truly enjoy reading your posts. Gets me smiling every time I come here... ;-)

marybt said...

The voyeur in me is obsessed with checking what people searched to get to my blog.

I get at least 5 a day on some form of "make your own assless chaps". I even got a pingback on that one!

The other one that I get every day without fail is, "what should 13 year old boys know?"

How the heck would I know what they should know?! Do I look like a 13 year old boy?! I'd imagine all they need to know is that a cleverly-positioned book can save them years of mortification.

calicobebop said...

Perhaps they meant "Naughty Tootsie?"

Allie said...

I am not naughty, but this post was hilarious!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Amazing.
I do like the image of the Canadian Dolls, though.

JoeinVegas said...

O - Allie checked in, maybe she can tell us and give a lesson.

Manic Mommy said...

I finally signed up for Google Analytics and search terms was the first thing I looked for! Yours are far more entertaining.

Timi said...

I'm so happy I'm not the only one! Apparently there is a porn site that is Timi The Girl Next Door. I get all kinds of weird stuff and it is very entertaining.

Swirl Girl said...

no "is that a farklepants in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

Stephanie said...

OH MY WORD that was hilarious! You should have linked the post to go along with that from you blog! ;oD

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

I'm afraid to ask what is a humdinger anyway?

Lisa..... said...

Maybe gymnasts don't use pads or tampons. Do they weigh enough to have a period??

kcinnova said...

People only love me for my boys' haircuts...or at least it appears that way. HUNDREDS of hits. Weird.

1blueshi1 said...

what up toots? just wanted to let you know I'm still around, you sweet cream humdinger, you!

Minnesota Matron said...

What! So the Matron cannot correct your grammar :-(

JCK said...

That last one is the winner. Perhaps of all time!