Monday, January 12, 2009

The Universe Called, There's Been a Change of Plans

Today started like any other back to school after a long break day. Three weeks is a long winter break; and while the first two weeks were filled with exciting events like Christmas and a trip to Disneyland, this last week brought about a raging case of cabin fever for all three kids [and one mother who had had it up to *here* and who also likes to preach to the choir - can I get an amen?].

The morning was a balmy 75 degrees, clear blue skies, and a breeze coming from the north-east. I dropped two of the children off at the elementary school and then it was off to the junior high. Idling in gridlock traffic because - Note to city planner: Whose idea was it to situate the high school and junior high and one (not ours) elementary school across the street from each other with a combined enrollment of approximately FIVE THOUSAND?!?! With only one way in and one way out? So that it takes 30 minutes round trip to take my son to school only 1.5 miles from my home? - ahem... oh, yes...Idling in gridlock traffic I was silently berating myself for electing to volunteer in Girl-Child's kindergarten class for the morning because it would have been really nice to have the house to myself for the first time in three weeks, even if only for just three hours. Nice and quiet.

I've often noted that with the high volume of traffic I deal with on a daily basis each morning and afternoon just to get my son to and from school, and the number of fender benders I'm witness to; it would only be a matter of time before I was involved in one myself...

And who knows where this is going?

I dropped my son off and made my way through the circular drive and waited to pull into traffic. My view was hindered by a city bus depositing an assload of teenagers. I inched forward waiting to see if all was clear. I determined it was and cautiously accelerated only to have to stop abruptly when a car whipped around the bus, darting into my lane. The car behind me? Not so much with the stopping. There was the telltale CRUNCH and I was all...well...it rhymes with DUCK.

We got out to survey the damage and fortunately I only lost a tail light. And also fortunately the driver? My neighbor from across the street - boy did he have egg on his face. So once we knew who each other were, and he knew I wouldn't slap him with a bogus whiplash claim, and I knew where to find him when I needed the bill paid for the light; we were all - see ya on the cul de sac homeslice [or at least I think that's what he said since he speaks very little English. He probably straight up called me a whore in Korean].

Now I was running late to make it to Girl-Child's class on time and I was about as NOT in the mood to deal with 30 kindergarteners fresh back from a three week vacation as I could be. But, I'd made the commitment. I relayed my accident news to Mr. Farklepants and then jumped in the shower. I was in the midst of prettying up when the phone rang.

Oh, what. the. hell. now-uh?

"Mrs. Farklepants? This is the nurse from the junior high. We have your son in here. He took a nasty spill and hit his head on a trash bin in the cafeteria. He's got quite a... (insert my visions of HORROR here...blood? Gash? Spurting? Stitches? Brain matter?) ...nasty bump on his head and you should probably pick him up and have him see a doctor and keep him home for observation".

Oh. Well, of course. Because obviously this day is just a test for how well I'll perform once I get to hell.

36 comments:

Melissa said...

Yikes, I thought those days only happened to me!

I hope tomorrow is better all the way around...and that Boy Child's head feels better.

Tootsie said...

good to know I live in the real world!!!!

JCK said...

OH...that sounds stressful! I'm sorry you had such a day, and you hadn't even made it to lunch! Hope tomorrow is better.

Jen on the Edge said...

When I see the school nurse come up on my caller ID, my heart stops.

Preston said...

Ah days like this are made to help us appreciate the days that aren't like them. (I know, that sounds like a fortune from a fortune cookie)

This Mom said...

I am sooo with you about being ready for a child free moment. but feel a little sorry for me too. My kids still have 2 1/2 weeks left of their break. For a total of 5 and 1/2 weeks at home.

Enjoy you free time

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Bump on his head? I would have told them to just make sure he didn't pass out or anything. Check his pupils every once in a while. Call me back if he throws up. I mean, come on!

amelia shelton said...

First of all, I KNEW when they were building those schools all so close together that this very day would happen to someone I cared about....who wudda thunk it was you? What a nightmare.

I'm sorry you had an accident---no fun at all. And I hope your son feels better soon.

Jason, as himself said...

Oops. That last comment was actually me, not my daughter!

Persnickety Ticker said...

Oh yeah. I got that nurse phone call. Not once, but twice today. The first was to tell me a 3 year old bit my 5 year old. Then 20 minutes later to tell me my daughter was violently ill and NOW I need to come get her.

Ah...fun times. At least I wasn't in an accident, but the positive side is you get to meet the neighbors and possibly learn new Korean swear words!

Sorry you had such a sucky day.

Jennifer H said...

After a day like that, you could totally run hell.

Swirl Girl said...

is boy child okay??

When the school nurse calls, and says my kid is sick...I ask "is it chunks or blood?" If not, I make her stay at school.

is that wrong of me?

BTW- word verification is 'resses' as in recess!

g said...

Oh damn, what a day! Poor Boy-child.

So sorry about the tail light, but at least you know the guy.

calicobebop said...

Oh dear, that's a horrible way to start the week. I hope that the little fellow is ok and well enought to go back to school - after all, sounds like you need the downtime. With a martini.

MommyTime said...

And that is a day I have sometimes too -- only it involves rotovirus diapers and throwing up at daycare (2 different kids) and me having to reschedule classes. You have my huge sympathy.

Dr. Mom said...

My husband was once walking into the daycare to drop off our daughter when another dad was leaving with two screaming children. My husband asked "How's it going?" The other man replied "Still livin' the dream...still livin' the dream." Sounds like you were having one of those days!

barbra said...

At first, I was thinking, "three weeks off? They're so lucky! (we get two)" but now, I'm thinking, "you poor thing! what a horrible way to start back on the school schedule!" Here's to things getting better.

Amanda said...

THAT is what would happen to me if I did something like wish I hadn't committed to volunteering. It's the world's way of saying "oh you don't want to volunteer, well here are a few excuses for you". Moms can't win!

hulagirlatheart said...

What's with the ducks these days?? They're everywhere.

JoeinVegas said...

Sorry, but I don't understand something. Perhaps the rest of you moms can chime in (as if you wouldn't) please. One and a half miles, jr high, walk to school in fifteen minutes, why is he being dropped off in front? Why not walk from home, or at least drop off a block or two away to avoid the traffic?
Kindergarten I understand, but at what age can they ride bikes/walk/get there themselves? My wife and I both worked, and once the kids could navigate it was up to them to get there. This was country area (Temecula) and big city (San Diego and Los Angeles).

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

That is nasty--all around a disappointing start to back to normal. Here's to peace and quiet tomorrow.

KD @ A Bit Squirrelly said...

Yep the universe was totally like 'adjust your vibes yo!' Hang in there.

AGSoccerMom said...

Damn I hate days like that.
Hope today is better.

Nil Zed said...

Well, the schools were designed back in the days of free school busses, (yay prop 13!) and when people used to think 1.5 miles wasn't too far for a kid that age to walk/bike. Times have changed.

Our school didn't have two other schools across from it, but it was half a mile across undeveloped scrubland, or 1.5 miles around the scrub by sidewalk. There was also a difficult left-turn that only finally got a turn-light in her senior year. The parents running into each other for years didn't matter, but an actual student finally got run into.

I didn't mind driving her when I had to be up & out of the house anyway. But when my life changed & I didn't have to, I'd only drive her as far as the starbucks (1 mile). IF I wanted starbucks. Or if she offered to buy.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Oops! My bad. The jr. high is 3.6 miles from our house. The elementary school is just over a mile. And he did walk (to the elementary) once he was in 5th grade.

BusyDad said...

"JustCallMeAboutTailightLater" is indeed Korean for whore. But in a playful not disrespectful way. At least it was 75 degrees?

Minnesota Matron said...

Throw in the towel, Tootsie. We've had those days!

ella said...

"homeslice" (!)
Too funny :)
Yeah, I hate when they call from school. We have a nurse only 1-2 days a week, so there's always that tone from the secretary on the nurse's days away that says "Come get your kid and get her NOW". They don't like it when I ask them to tell my kid to "suck it up".

Lee the MWOB Queen said...

First of all lemme give you that AMEN! Although that's one reason my kiddos are in Catholic School - two week Christmas break. You sound like you handled week three better than I would have.

But holy shit. What a bad, bad Monday for you. So sorry Tootsie - there's nothing worse than having expectations on your first day of semi-freedom and then getting them smashed!

Hope the head bump is better.

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

I can think of lots of rhyming words to decribe days like that:

Spitty
Gun of a Witch
Rain in the Pass

You get the idea.

KEEP BELIEVING

The Introvert said...

A nasty bump? Geez! I fainted in the middle of class one time and they didn't send me home. Just put my feet over my head until I woke up and that was it. I guess society is a little more litigious than it used to be.

laughingatchaos said...

You know, I think the universe is dashing hither and yon, giving random moms big honkin wedgies. My day has been one wedgie pull after another.
Go have wine. Lots of wine.

Strange Pilgram said...

That's called "when the shit hits the fan"... are you laughing yet?

The Mom Bomb, a/k/a Folksy Mama said...

When it rains, it pours . . . but please don't tell me you still went to volunteer. I would have just curled up in a ball and cried.

Reeky said...

sorry for such a bad start to your week.

I was going to ask why walking/bike riding wasn't an option but read your comment correcting the distance to over 3 miles. too far.

so yes, very bad planning.

side note: since reading your blog, I've added tootsie farklepants to my daughter's list of nicknames.

Shonda Little said...

My God, I would need whiskey to drive in and out of that clustersuck.