The Universe Called, There's Been a Change of Plans

Today started like any other back to school after a long break day. Three weeks is a long winter break; and while the first two weeks were filled with exciting events like Christmas and a trip to Disneyland, this last week brought about a raging case of cabin fever for all three kids [and one mother who had had it up to *here* and who also likes to preach to the choir - can I get an amen?].

The morning was a balmy 75 degrees, clear blue skies, and a breeze coming from the north-east. I dropped two of the children off at the elementary school and then it was off to the junior high. Idling in gridlock traffic because - Note to city planner: Whose idea was it to situate the high school and junior high and one (not ours) elementary school across the street from each other with a combined enrollment of approximately FIVE THOUSAND?!?! With only one way in and one way out? So that it takes 30 minutes round trip to take my son to school only 1.5 miles from my home? - ahem... oh, yes...Idling in gridlock traffic I was silently berating myself for electing to volunteer in Girl-Child's kindergarten class for the morning because it would have been really nice to have the house to myself for the first time in three weeks, even if only for just three hours. Nice and quiet.

I've often noted that with the high volume of traffic I deal with on a daily basis each morning and afternoon just to get my son to and from school, and the number of fender benders I'm witness to; it would only be a matter of time before I was involved in one myself...

And who knows where this is going?

I dropped my son off and made my way through the circular drive and waited to pull into traffic. My view was hindered by a city bus depositing an assload of teenagers. I inched forward waiting to see if all was clear. I determined it was and cautiously accelerated only to have to stop abruptly when a car whipped around the bus, darting into my lane. The car behind me? Not so much with the stopping. There was the telltale CRUNCH and I was all...well...it rhymes with DUCK.

We got out to survey the damage and fortunately I only lost a tail light. And also fortunately the driver? My neighbor from across the street - boy did he have egg on his face. So once we knew who each other were, and he knew I wouldn't slap him with a bogus whiplash claim, and I knew where to find him when I needed the bill paid for the light; we were all - see ya on the cul de sac homeslice [or at least I think that's what he said since he speaks very little English. He probably straight up called me a whore in Korean].

Now I was running late to make it to Girl-Child's class on time and I was about as NOT in the mood to deal with 30 kindergarteners fresh back from a three week vacation as I could be. But, I'd made the commitment. I relayed my accident news to Mr. Farklepants and then jumped in the shower. I was in the midst of prettying up when the phone rang.

Oh, what. the. hell. now-uh?

"Mrs. Farklepants? This is the nurse from the junior high. We have your son in here. He took a nasty spill and hit his head on a trash bin in the cafeteria. He's got quite a... (insert my visions of HORROR here...blood? Gash? Spurting? Stitches? Brain matter?) ...nasty bump on his head and you should probably pick him up and have him see a doctor and keep him home for observation".

Oh. Well, of course. Because obviously this day is just a test for how well I'll perform once I get to hell.