Thursday, May 7, 2009

ACME Kite Kit Not Included

Sunday evening Mr. Farklepants pipes up out of nowhere and asks, "So, do you wanna go for a walk"? And I was all, who are you and what have you done with my husband and p.s. do you do dishes? My shock is in reference to the fact that Mr. Farklepants rarely parts with his laptop. It's how he spends his downtime and I'm not complaining now - he could prefer to spend it elsewhere like golf, sporting events, poker, bars, or anything else that get's him away from the house. At least he's home. For those who prefer visual aides - Mr. Farklepants seen here with three laptops and a Starbucks Grande full of temporary energy... with whip:



So I was all, shhhhhuuuurrre, yeah! I suggest bringing Phoebe along [because, although she knows where her leash is located and knows that in order for that leash to be attached to her collar she needs to sit; walking on her leash is a whole other matter. There's much dragging of and giving in and carrying of the puppy. It's a work in progress - you understand]. And then I add: since we're just going around the neighborhood? Indeed, stated as a questionable fact.

Mr. Farklepants says, no I was thinking of going to Towsley Canyon. This would make it necessary for me to change out of my skirt and flip flops.

Mr. Farklepants and I differ in our definition of walk. If I have to strap on some shoes with traction then walk equals hike. Tomato/Toe-mah-toe? More like, Tomato/Willdabeast.

"Then we should leave Phoebe at home", I say. I didn't want to get a mile into treacherous terrain and have her lay down like, that's all the walking I'm about to do - carry me?


(Forgive me while I use the term "treacherous terrain" loosely. Exaggerate, who?)

The other reason for insisting that Phoebe stay home is that the vet specifically instructed that, since she isn't finished with her vaccinations, she should avoid any areas where other dogs congregate and, more importantly, coyotes roam. Parasite infested coyotes.

At the tail end of our hike, Mr. Farklepants goes into stealth mode and signals to me, "There's something in the grass". He takes aim with his camera and shoots:


Later seen failing at firing a bow and arrow with ACME dynamite strapped to it then painting a realistic tunnel onto the rock face only to be hit by the train that emerged. He was remarkably unscathed.

**photos of trail and coyote by Mr. Farklepants and his super badass camera

18 comments:

MommyTime said...

While I love these photos and the fact that you go for SERIOUS walks after dinner (at our house, "walk after dinner" still involves a stroller and a neighborhood), I have to tell you that I read two posts just now to catch up -- and I'm still laughing so hard at "Dude. Seriously. Call next time. I was about to tap that." that I can't even remember what else I liked about this post. Anyway. You're awesome. Want to go for a walk sometime? I promise to laugh at all the right places in your stories.

Martha said...

Great pics, I love Mr.Farklepants in His Natural Habitat surrounded by a Forest of Laptops!! I hike up in Towsley Cyn frequently and the Rattlers are out, ugh.

Jason, as himself said...

I really like walking around in that area, too! Maybe you, me, and Martha could plan a hike up there, but then change plans and just have coffee at Starbuck's.

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

That's not a walk. I agree. But totally worth it, it appears.

By the way, any dog named Phoebe should not roam where coyotes may for fear of a major ass kicking or swirlie or wedgie.

KEEP BELIEVING

Swirl Girl said...

My idea of a good walk is up the stairs to my big wonderful bed ...really fast.

and the coyote proves why I am right about this.

nature sucks.

JCK said...

Those are the kind of walks that make me swoon. Good swooning. Good swooning.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I'm with you. Hike.

You do want to be careful with the dog--friends of ours took the puppy out to soon and he got Parvo. The outcome was not good.

dorothy said...

LOL @ the lightening bolt.

Karen said...

Good thing you left Pheobe at home. And the canyon is beautiful! I envy your walking choices.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

What's up with our hubbies dragging us for walks into coyote country?

Mr. Farklepants said...

Dorth, the bolt was not too heavy, nor was it too dark so it did not need to be lightened. It was a bolt of static electricity created by friction in the atmosphere commonly known as a "lightning" bolt....

just sayin' ;)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

A Starbucks Grande WHAT with whip, exactly? And how many extra shots of chocolate and/or espresso (so that I, too, may feel that motivation to get outside and exercise)?

g said...

Ah! we want a dog who will be able to hike with us where there are coyotes. Our old malamute, long departed, was a genial soul who gave a panting muzzle-smile to coyotes, but was firmly protective if they didn't slink away.

Your puppy will learn her powers as she grows.

We hope to have a new dog in the next several months....I hope!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Awesome.

We went for a walk today. For Mother's Day. Where walk equals listening to "AHHH BEES!" "CAN WE GO HOME NOW?" "MY FEET ARE TWISTING IN MY SHOES"

And, no, that wasn't me saying all that stuff.

Happy Mother's Day.

;-)

Anne Marie said...

well hey! nice to meet you....

you are pretty funny!

stop on by!

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Wow, so there really is hope?

Bec said...

This made me laugh - my husband is attached to his laptop too . . . I need to put my foot down about bringing it to bed.

disa said...

I love it ! Very creative ! That's actually really cool Thanks.