Friday, May 22, 2009

The Rest of Her Ear Lay Somwhere in the Dog's Lower Intestine

The puppy is a chewer.

Let the record show that Vintage Thirty states the obvious.

Fortunately, so long as we're diligent in keeping an eye on her, we can thwart any potential chewing casualties and, also fortunately, she is easily distracted by her own plush, squeaky toys. And my kitchen rug - which is now hers. Whatever, I don't care - she can have it. The few incidences where we let our guard down, weren't on our toes, had our backs turned; the AC adapter cord for the Nintendo DS was severed, one Nerf gun bullet became smithereens, one adult male dress sock lost a heel, and one flip-flop strap was mutilated and the footwear rendered useless.

Not too terrible considering a friend of mine lost one WHOLE HALF of her COUCH to an unsupervised pup. And my sister in law - several hundred dollars worth of shoes.

Enter Wednesday. And Skunky:


Skunky is Girl-Child's most beloved toy. It is from the Littlest Pet Shop collection and Girl-Child is a collector of teeny tiny toys. I retrieved Skunky from Phoebe's mouth - now with Kung Fu grip action! - Wednesday night. It began with a cute woodgie woodgie, what do you have in your mouth? And ended with SCREAMING!!! and a morphine drip when I realized what I'd pulled out.



I was then faced with a dilemma. A) Do I dispose of the evidence and feign ignorance of its whereabouts? Only to be met with the trauma of a lost Skunky? B) Do I present Skunky, in her mutilated state, to Girl-Child - do it quick like ripping off a band-aid and endure the massive FREAKOUT!!! that would surely present itself and also the possible new found hatred of the puppy? Or C) do I leave it, inconspicuously, among her other smallish belongings to be discovered at a later date? Brave Mom goes with C.

Enter Thursday. And Girl-Child's discovery of Skunky - now with holes and half of an ear!!! A very distraught young lady made her way down the stairs from her room - now with more sobbing!!! She was met with my, it's okay Honey I can Crazy Glue Skunky good as new.

Hello, have you met my irrational fear of Crazy Glue? Where "irrational fear" equals - that time I glued four fingers from my right hand together that had to be separated by a can of acetone from the garage by a laughing, mocking husband? Shut up, Mr. Farklepants. Just stop it.

Vintage Thirty is happy to report that Girl-Child is mostly pleased with the magical healing powers of the glue. And, according to Girl-Child, henceforth known as - Wild Glue.

**Vintage Thirty wishes someone had had the foresight to take before-repair pictures of Skunky considering a certain someone has a blog and said certain someone should have know better.

25 comments:

calicobebop said...

OMG - I would have gone with option "C" as well. And let's all join hands and thank the universe for "Wild" glue. Mmm-kay? That shit is the bee's knees.

Glad to hear Skunky survived!

Bunny Bunster said...

Glad to hear that the Girl Child was not too overly traumatized!

JoeinVegas said...

Hmm, well, it does look like said someone did a fairly good repair job.

JCK said...

So glad Girl Child survived. It is a rather adorable little toy. And puppies...sigh. They are so cute, but chew, chew, chew....

skyesofblue said...

Cute story. My 4 1/2 month old Cairn Terrier, Skye, recently ate a good portion of a 1800 German bible, one of those old large bibles. If you don't put things out of their reach it's really not their fault. They are so wonderful regardless of the damage.
Mine is being spayed today, doing great per the vet, and I can't wait to pick her up.

Jason, as himself said...

A whole half a couch? Puppies are way harder than children. Maybe you should have just had another child instead.

And I love that you glued your fingers together. And I loved that Mr. Farklepants laughed at you.

madmomma said...

sorry it had to happen to a child's toy. that's the worst.

although, when young, my dog ate (not necessarily in this order): 4 pairs of shoes; a store's worth of ladies underwear; 2 belts; my treasured 1st cabbage patch doll; my treasured orangutan doll; one bottle aspirin; coke can; 2 cds; one bean-bag chair; bread, bread and more bread; did I mention bread?

he's 11 now so that's all I can remember. and that doesn't count dog toys. but as others have said, it is unfortunately our fault. we are the "smart" animals after all that should know better than to leave eatables in dog's reach.

ps. LOVE your blog

Sue @ My Party of 6 said...

I make my husband wear rubber gloves when he uses "Wild Glue" now. I got tired of unsticking him from things.

Glad you saved the day!

musingwoman said...

I applaud you for braving the Wild Glue. I've never used it, 'cause I'm afraid I'd have to go bald after getting it stuck in my hair.

smalltownmom said...

I too have glued my fingers together trying to repair a toy. You are a brave, brave woman.

cactus petunia said...

You have a puppy, and all you lost was Skunky's ear and a few measly toys, wires and shoes????

Count your blessings, and be very glad you're not also on a first name basis with the 24 hour emergency pet hospital vets. Like I was.

Oy.

I started a blog (maybe it should be a support-group blog)...it's called http://dietaryindiscretions.blogspot.com

stop by and visit!

Eve Bushman said...

We found an entire tube sock that my German Shep. had "disposed" of in our backyard. Unable to retrieve it at the onset; unable to not dispose of it in its...expunged state. But, at least said tube sock did not belong to my Cherub. And hubby still was in charge of picking up remains from yard...

Manic Mommy said...

Do they sell Skunkies separately or would you have had to purchase an entire playset? My preference would have been to hide it and purchase another one when girl-child wasn't around.

iCarrie said...

Just knowing what LPS extreme-house-of-joy-that-comes-with-only-one-pet-because-you-can't-buy-it-separately pain that is involved with this eatery...I have to say that I would have used option C also. In fact, I have used this option, trying to buy myself time while the mangled pet blends in with the hundreds of other darlings in the specific bin in her room.
And skunky looks convincingly like the damn squirrel that we purchased, only they painted them "different".

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I suspect the puppy is better off sticking to small toys and not large couches--wasn't there a whole post devoted to the new and beautifu- grown-up person couch?

The Girl Next Door said...

oh yeah c is it. and? bitter apple..spray. cured my puppy!

The Glamorous Life said...

True Story.
(you know anytime someone starts a story with those two words it is gonna be good)

My mom had super glue in a short squatty bottle on her bathroom counter. She ALSO had eye drops in a short squatty bottle on her bathroom counter.....can you see where this is going?

Well, I will tell you. It is going STRAIGHT to the ER to tell them your mom put superglue in her EYE and even though you were only 14 you had to drive the family station wagon to the hospital to bring her.

So irrational fear?
More like RATIONAL.
Very very RATIONAL.

:)

g said...

The first week we got our Malamute, he ate one of the best high-heeled shoes I ever had. The best. 4 inches high and like a dream to walk in. He ate it. It was the end of my high heel wearing career.

kcinnova said...

My children's love of small toys is one of the reasons we don't have a dog yet.

PS: Option C was very wise.

Nora said...

I think you handled it beautifully. I bet she loves Skunky all the more now.

Burgh Baby said...

Alexis has gotten so used to Cody eating everything in our house that she now scours the place for her belongings before we leave in the morning. Nothing like discovering Dora has lost a few limbs to get a kid to learn how to clean up her crap.

Saucy said...

Tootsie's other option: hide or destroy Skunky in order to completely put him out of his misery at the hands of Baby Farklepants, now known to readers as MIKE TYSON.

Then Tootsie would repair to eBay, whereupon she would attain a replica of Skunky with its ears intact.

Of course, Saucy would have found a way to be even more of a weakling than Tootsie, she herself has left many a possession to be found by the offspring only to be met with a cowardly, "I TOLD YOU not to leave that where the puppy might get it... puppies are lots of work... you said you would walk the puppy... this is not the puppy's fault... this is YOUR fault" because quite honestly, everything that goes wrong in a household can easily be blamed on the offspring.

dana said...

My sister happened to buy THE MOST beautiful coat known to man. Did I neglect to mention it was an expensive coat? Husband bought a 2 month old Border Collie. Ohhhh. So cute.....then they noticed that one of the columns on their porch had been eaten away from 10 inches down. Then they found the tough rubber mat here and there. Then my sister started to take her long coat to be stored for the summer. The long......uh.....the short jacket.

tracywas said...

I love "wild" glue! When I was in middle school, I super glued my best friends leg to mine. I wanted to be friends forever. (with her permission of course, but I might have still carried out my plot even without her permissions) Our parents were so mad!!!

Hours and lots of acetone later...to this day we are still friends!

Timi said...

I hate when you are in the middle of a blog worthy moment and forget to take pictures. Worse yet........no camera to be found.

Poor Skunky. Glad a trip to the wild glue hospital turned out ok for him.

PS...you probably have heard this a million times already. We were told our dog chewed because he's bored. More exercise, more playing with HIS toys, getting praise for playing with only his toys, getting in trouble for chewing non toys and he would stop. Once were were consistant with him (which is a big effort when your lazy) he did stop and has grown out chewing on anything. Good luck