Monday, December 1, 2008

Armed With a List and a Piping Hot Venti Caramel Macchiato

We're just going to skip Thanksgiving altogether because really - turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, various pies - we all did the same thing, right? Right. And what goes great with 4am heartburn and last night's dinner that you can still taste? Shopping.

Little known fact: The term "Black Friday" was originated by the Philadelphia police department in 1966 because of the sidewalk and street traffic the first official shopping day brings. So says my Wikipedia search.

I call it "Black Friday" because it's black outside when you leave the house. On Friday. badum-CHING! [Editor's note: Vintage Thirty apologizes for that lame remark] Thank you, thank you...how many of you flew in from out of town? Are your arms tired? badum-CHING! [Editor's note: Vintage Thirty would like whomever it is that's providing the rimshot to please stop, it just encourages Tootsie]

In my whole life I had never shopped the Friday following Thanksgiving, or that whole weekend, for that matter. Because A) I hate crowds, and B) Especially crowds of people hell bent on a deal and running on insufficient sleep. That's a recipe for cranky and rude and really, is that worth the savings? But in 2006, the year I believe I entered perimenopause and lost some of my marbles, I decided to go see what all the fuss was about.

So, blah blah blah, 4:30am, Starbucks, mall, 8am home, kids and Mr. Farklepants still asleep, three quarters of my Christmas list complete. The mall RAWKS on black Friday. Well, I can't speak for YOUR mall but ours does. So since that went so smoothly and I was telling my sisters ohmahgah it was so awesome and they were like ohmahgah we're totally going with you next time, and they totally did. Except in 2007 we made the poor POOR choice to go to Kohl's, not the mall. [please insert the sound of a needle scraping across an album on the record player here] THAT? Was the most HORRIBLE, AWFUL, WASTE OF TIME shopping trip of my life. Ever. Ever in forever. Ever. If there was a deal I don't know what it was. I spent almost $300 and didn't even get that much stuff and the line to pay wrapped around the store and people were opening up instant credit for an additional savings, the heat was stifling and ohmyhell someone totally farted. Audibly.

I still have nightmares.

So this year my sisters were all, so are we going to the mall or what? If there's one thing I like, it's teenagers with moxie. And a willingness to get up at 3:45am.


Everyone say hi to Tootsie's sisters!

By 8am we had turned the mall inside out and also Target and refrained from coming home with a pet store Cocker Spaniel puppy. There was nothing left to do but breakfast.

These bags represent just a portion of the booty. The rest of my booty is still in the back of my car hiding from the kids. And there is a "Yo Mama is So Fat" joke in there somewhere, I just know it.

This book How to Traumatize Your Children is a great gift for a sister in law who can take an effing joke.

I have four nephews and four nieces. I often get them the same gifts, with slight variations, so that no one feels like they've been shafted. Especially the girls. Because girls? Oy vey. This year it's jackets!

Two of them were originally $35, one was $55, and the other (not pictured) a whopping $140.


But I got all four for just over one hundred dollars. Two words: Door Busters.

39 comments:

kcinnova said...

Oh, but I, I was sound asleep until 6:30am. And then I fell back asleep AGAIN and slept until 10:45am. And it was GLORIOUS!
Perhaps it is because a) my sisters-in-law and MIL (who would be dragging me from my warm bed in the pre-dawn hours) are living across the country from me, and/or b) I have a houseful of boys who don't care about clothes or wonderful deals found while shopping.
Either way, YOU got the great deals and I got the sleep! Even-Steven?

Backpacking Dad said...

I went to the movies on Black Friday.

I also went on Orange Monday, Violet Tuesday, and Magenta Wednesday so it was not a special day for me. Except that my wife also went with me.

But that's no reason for me to call it Black Friday.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

Backpacking Dad and I have insomnia. Not together, but I keep running into him all over the blogosphere. I have an effing fever and can't sleep. ANYWAY - congrats on getting so much off your list. I went out, but I was SICK and ended up buying next to nothing. It's hard to get into the Black Friday spirit when you feel like crap.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Your Christmas shopping is DONE?

Bitch.

I say that with love, of course.

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Great deals! But I still do not shop on Black Friday. I will never, ever do it. The death of that temporary worker at Wal-Mart has pretty much ended any possibility that I *might* shop on Black Friday.

Giyen said...

My hats off to the brave people that go shopping on black friday. I am afraid of the stampedes. : )

smalltownmom said...

I won't do the black Friday shopping thing. Ever. Stomp. That was me putting my foot down.

Laura said...

Oh yeah, I was one of those at Kohl's (but at 9:00 a.m.). They must be the same on Black Friday all across the country - crowded, hot, and lines that wrapped around the store twice!

dorothy said...

Black Friday was super fun! I smell a tradition!

JoeinVegas said...

Wow, impressive family there. And the shopping is done? Come on, I don't believe that, there are still things available for sale out there.

The Glamorous Life said...

I totally went to THE MALL on Black Friday in the middle of the morning. Why? Because I am INSANE. ANNNNNDDD we took our kids.

Best part? Not a single soul in line for Santa. None. it was kinda pathetic. So my kids got to hang with the big guy for as long as they wanted. And that rocked.

Oh are you feeling special? I Sumbled You.

calicobebop said...

I've never gotten up that early to shop. I may have to try it next year... Or not. *yawn* I'm sleepy just reading about it!

Mrs. G. said...

Nice work, Toots. I'm glad you weren't trampled or shot.

Jaci said...

Score! The coats are very cute. (But won't you be pissed when you see them for 90% off on January 10th? I swear that always happens to me. Then I'm pissed for the rest of the day.)

Swirl Girl said...

While you were fighting the crowds..I was home on my computer cyber shopping in my slippers and sweat pants.

Didn't get a frickin' thing....

I will wait until Christmas eve, like I do every year.

One Reader said...

yeah, we went out on Thursday at 11pm and didn't get home til 1pm on Friday... It was great! I love the sleepy giggles!

Susie said...

I would totally go shopping with you at 4 am because here on the East Coast - that would be 7.

kellyg said...

In my experience, Kohl's has THE SLOWEST check outs. You can feel yourself getting older there. And since I avoid Kohl's when it might be a little bit busy, there is close to nothing that would lure me there on Black Friday.

I would probably shop more at Kohl's if not for the check out situation.

But you are a super shopper! What a deal on the coats.

Mr. Farklepants said...

Yeah, so while all this "fun" was going on I meanwhile awoke around 5:30 am, with a massive hangover and no memory of getting in to bed in the first place. Only to find the spot next to me normally occupied by my wife at that time of the morning empty.

I got up took a tour of the house. Kids were there... check. But no wife? No sister in laws.. No car in the garage..

Had someone gotten hurt and everyone was in the emergency room? I had no idea. there should be a note.

Took me awhile and a couple texts to Dorothy to figure out what the hell was going on. Sure sure, they talked about it the night before and I should have realized immediately... Did I mention I went to bed drunk?

Burgh Baby said...

When somebody starts offering a killer door buster for Sleep, I'll get up at 4am to shop. Until then, I will wander aimlessly into a mall around 3ish and be just dandy with the crap that is still left.

Karen said...

I admire your moxie getting up that early to battle the crowds... I always had to work in the stores the day after. 4 years later & I'm still scarred by the experience. I hope with counseling to someday overcome my problem. In the meantime, I do almost all my shopping on the web.

P.S. I was always told that it was called Black Friday because that was the day the retailers finally got out of the red & into the black on their financial books. I'm not sure if that's true or not.

OHmommy said...

I shopped online today. Didn't have to get up for it or get dressed. There were some awesome deals to be found too.

Were there crowds of people in CA in the early morning?

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Still not convinced.

Lisa..... said...

Tall sexy boots for $14.99 on Black Friday! Door Busters kick ass.

Baby Favorite said...

Every year I get up at the buttcrack of dawn, face the crowds, and spend countless hundreds of dollars. And in the middle of it all, I say, "NEVER AGAIN." Where never again equals same time next year.

Nap Warden said...

Wow! I have never shopped a Black Friday. For the first time EVER...I'm tempted...

Lee the MWOB Queen said...

I'm with Nap Warden - i have NEVER shopped on Black Friday and have never ever been tempted even slightly - until...now.

I'm glad it's over.

By the time Black Friday rolls around next year I will have forgotten this post (I think) and I won't be tempted anymore. Unless that is you post this again before Black Friday and I read it....(and do I really have to go on?)

O'Neal (The Woman In Charge Around Here) said...

I tried to get in on all of the excitement via online deals & steals BUT, (there's always a but isn't it?) the virtual shopping cart I filled up at Toys R Us lost a wheel in between the time I hit checkout & actually signed over my soul,er, entire line of credit! Somehow in that short time that I went to refill my coffee they ran out of about half the toys I had given in to for my chaps and charged my account for the ORIGINAL amount withOUT subtracting the $ for the out of stock toys! GRRRRRR!!!! They? Are total bitches and have sworn me off of EVER getting up on color coded holiday again!

The good news is there is a kick ass GIVE AWAY over at my place where anyone can play along and possibly win 1 of 5 SuPeRfAnTaStIc prizes! Purses, FREE blog makeovers, jewelry... http://onealsdeal.blogspot.com/2008/11/home-made-holidays-great-gift-give-away.html

Stephanie said...

Awesome! I didn't get up at 4, but I didn't get up and was out by 6:30. Didn't find many deals around here though, probably because I was so late getting out.

For you and your readers on here, I'm holding a Twilight giveaway on my blog, so click on me to enter!

laughingatchaos said...

I have never shopped on Black Friday and likely never will. Don't live near family (have no sisters...sniff), hate early mornings unless I'm traveling to exotic locales, and tend to do 99% of my shopping online. But you...you kick butt! And I'd totally Black Friday with you. ;)

katydidnot said...

oh dear god. you brave, brave woman. here's my christmas shopping: ransack the endcap gift card display at vons. leave the deal-finding to the unfortunate gift card holder (sucker). because gift cards suck eggs. but still, i don't care.

Preston said...

Woo Hoo! I went shopping on Black Friday too. Besides getting great gift deals I got a Brother Fax, Copy, Scan, & Print Printer for only $29.88 at Staples. (I deserved it) But how I hate the crowds.

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

I refuse to let the horrid people in crowds take away my festive cheer, so by & large, I'm done shopping by Black Friday. This year I was woefully neglectful & had 5 people left to buy for - but I took care of them with the gift cards at the grocery store. Good job on the savings. I got some good online deals.

Loralee Choate said...

I skipped it this year. Honestly, with all the bitchslapping and "Yo, mamma, bitch!" ing that I saw last year, this is probably a good thing.

Although, to see little white Utah ladies bitchslapping and "Yo, mamma-ing" each other in track suits at 4 am is pretty damn amusing, to tell you the truth.

The Introvert said...

Oh my heck. My mom and I LOVE to go shopping on Black Friday because...awesome deals and being done with your Christmas shopping in 2.5 hours? Totally worth it. Unfortunately, this year my husband decided we had to be with HIS family that day, so I missed out this year. *sigh* Sacrifices.

Indy said...

Siters shopping together on Black Friday, very cool! Next year, we are planning a big day including a breakfast. Good steal on the coats.

MelADramatic Mommy said...

I wanted to go but no one would go with me. Wah! It's probably just as well though. I'm a total impulse shopper. One for you, one for me.

stephanie (bad mom) said...

You are so much more brave (crazy? heh) than I. Congrats on the booty.

The only reason I stepped foot outside this year on Black Friday was for my students who were trying to earn money at a Barnes & Noble BookFair. That's it; I got no super-fly deals.

But I did get to hear a student play his bagpipes.

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