Friday, May 9, 2008

Tootsie Talks ~ Some People Listen

Tootsie's weekly advice column. She's no expert, although she's not really sure what constitutes "expert". If it involves school, she attended the school of Very Strong Opinions. Questions are welcomed. Answers may borderline ridiculous.

Vintage Thirty would like to apologize for the apparent haphazardness of todays post. Tootsie spent a good portion of her evening ignoring her family trying to visit the blogs of all the new readers that stopped by here this week. Then she spent the remainder of the middle of the night not having sex with her husband visiting the advice portion of her brain so that she felt confident that she was giving you her all and not short sheeting your beds. And then? She hit some key on her keyboard and the whole post went POOF! And it wasn't until after she rammed her head through the nearest wall that she remembered to simply click the "back" button and VOILA! Crisis averted.

Q: OHMommy, the super adorable host of Classy Chaos needs THE cream: "I turned thirty last year. I have three kids and three forehead wrinkles. I am really afraid of what my 40s will bring - I actually dislike looking in the mirror and seeing myself age so fast. I have vowed to take better care of my skin by drinking more water and moisturizing my face, neck, and chest every night/day, and using sunscreen. However, the wrinkles will not go away. Without spending hundreds of dollars on fancy creams and botox... what can I get at Target to start minimizing these prominent forehead wrinkles. I am desperately seeking help."

A: Funny how thirty just up and betrays you, isn't it? Although it is no laughing matter and I totally and completely know what you mean. That was around the time that I wished I had started taking better care of my skin when I was twenty. Check out this post for the ultimate skin cream. And really give that stubborn affected (effected? grammar is hard) area nightly massages with the L'Oreal Wrinkle Decrease (night). Because I'm convinced that along with the cream, simply rubbing it on a consistent basis is key. That's what she said.

Q: Shania of Craving Silence is attempting that quandary for the ages: "A question for your next advice session: I'm considering growing out my natural color. Any advice on how to make the grow out phase less painful?"

A: I have to admit that this one has me stumped. Timely too. I just saw a young woman yesterday, whom I'm assuming is an art student at the local Cal Arts college, who is doing just this thing. Her hair was jet black and her very natural mousy blonde roots were about five inches long. But? She's an art student I think and was totally pulling it off. In the event that you aren't also an art student or in some type of edgy profession where you can pull off a grunge look; I suggest investing in some cute hats, scarves, and perhaps cutting your hair as short as you comfortably can. And fortunately those wide headbands that tie all the way around your crown are in right now. So you can pull your hair back into a messy bun and wrap that band around the exposed roots. In the meantime there are mild semi-permanent colors out there (have it professionally done) that can help with the waiting period.

Q: Burgh Baby's Mom is representing the fashion portion of today's column: "Question for you--if I were to go drop $100 on some summer clothes for myself, what should I get?"

A: Now that you're famous spend more! ahem...I imagine you're like most women me and want to get as much as you can for that hundred dollars. I would try to get a few pieces that are mix and matchable thus garnering more outfits than you actually bought. For instance one pair of neutral pants and as many tops as you can with what is left over. You can get away with wearing the pants a couple of days a week and pair it with a different top each time. I don't know if you have a New York and Company near you but they have a great selection for just that sort of thing and their prices are pretty low. They also often have decent sales like 2 for 1 or buy one get one half off things that make you kind of shiver in places you don't like to admit out loud. At least in public. In front of strangers. Or here on a blog for anyone to see. You know what I'm saying.

Q: The San Diego Momma is no poseur: "Now back to my hair. Should I get it cut like Jackie on Work Out? Or is that a poseur cut?"

A: Can I just say that you would totally rock that cut? You would. Since Farrah Fawcett a shag has never been out of style. It may have evolved over the years but it's still a shag. The great thing about that cut is that you can make it into a different hairstyle everyday. Curl it, flat iron it, blow it under, flip it up, smack it flip it rub it down OHHHhh! And it's still long enough to pull it up on those days that it decides to be a bitch.

Q: Anglophilefootballfanatic Has a request and some advice of her own: "Oh, please Ms Farklepants, Ma'am, will you give us a grand finale post with all the pimped out products you've told us we need? Like for Friday even? I can't keep going back in time to see what I have been missing out on. Oh, but my big time recommendation? DHC's Eye Off Shade. It REALLY does make black puffy eyes look stellar."

A: Since you asked, I shall. In fact, I'll bullet point them due to their supreme awesomeness (because supreme awesomeness deserves a bullet point):

  • L'Oreal Wrinkle Decrease (Night) ~ for the face
  • L'Oreal Professionnel liss extreme cera liss system ~ for le hair
  • Garnier Nutritioniste Ultra-Lift anti-wrinkle firming eye cream ~ um, your eyes
  • Matrix Sleek.Look shampoo and conditioner
  • Dove Energy Glow Daily Moisturizer with Subtle Self-Tanners ~ le fake bake
  • L'Oreal Voluminous (not waterproof) mascara (I wear it in black)
  • Proactiv Renewing Cleanser ~ just the cleanser. I find the whole system to be very drying of the skin which, in my opinion, accelerated the premature wrinkling of my skin
  • Carmex lip balm ~ yes the one for cold sores but it only costs about a buck and blows everything else away for soft lips.

    I believe that includes all the products from past posts. My work here is done. For today.


Suburban Correspondent said...

That New York and Company looks so, so hip. Are we allowed to buy the clothes if we don't look as sultry as the models?

Nicole said...

I love New York and Company. Dorothy and I were there the other day and found some pretty cute dresses. I love how they always introduce new lines within a very strict color scheme (this time it's teal and purple - I think). I always find really great slacks from there (I am more of a slack girl than a jean girl).

I'm 21 but I am tempted to start using all those products now to reduce future damage. I've been using Proactive and it doesn't dry my face out (because my face is so oily it's impossible to be dry unless I use a harsh astringent). All this talk of beauty products reminds me of that shower scene in American Psycho. (this one:

Shania said...

I bow to your wisdom, oh wise one. I think headbands and hats will have to do, as my natural color is white (no, really) and my former natural color is Indian black. I'm just a mix of contrasts.

Texasholly said...


Karen said...

I'm loving the headbands myself. With my roots growing out in my bangs too darn quickly, headbands do a wonderful job of hiding them.

Burgh Baby said...

The torture is everywhere. I'm taking notes because I will get even.

BTW, I love that I have AFF so hooked on you that she's all "tell me what I missed." That rocks, as does advice a la Tootsie.

Burgh Baby said...

I forgot to mention, that little get up I'm wearing in the torture? Totally New York and Company. I had to go buy something and only had fifteen minutes, so that's the only store I hit. It worked out.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Friday PlayDate and I just had a conversation about Loreal Voluminous. Best. Mascara. Ever.

And I have the carmex in every drawer in my house.

Jennifer S said...

Turns out you have way more fun fixing your hair than I do. To wit, "flip it up, smack it flip it rub it down OHHHhh!"

But since I have a hair appointment today, I think I'll just take that little quote with me and say "I want this."

Details at 10.

Anonymous said...

Question. Age 45 and linebacker thighs. Not the thinnest they've been Shorts? I'm thinking, "not." Thanks.

JCK said...

Since you do provide magnificent answers, I will ask something that has been stumping me for...well, years! What is the best razor? And do you use shaving cream? I am known to go a day(s!!) without shaving, but if I try to shave every day I get nicked-up legs. Yet, if I go more than one day the sharpness of the hair is akin to Cactus thorns. The poor Sot husband has to wear armor to combat the razor burn from my legs! Help??

JCK said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JCK said...

That would be the poor SOD husband. Not SOT. Thank GOD, he is not drunk, but unlucky in dealing with my legs. And the armor is just in bed. Not around the house. Just thought you'd appreciate the clarification.

Anonymous said...

While on the subject of razors - when replying to jck please be sure to include bikini line advice!

I am committed to going to the pool every day this summer and do not want to wear one of those little skirty things that have made a resurgence. Because they work until you get into the water and they stick to your thighs. I know because last summer I humiliated myself with one. For weeks, until one day I walked past a window and Barghhh!!!

Aunt Becky said...

I do advice columns too. But usually based on the freak search terms that lead people to my doorstep.

And dude, can I just say again how glad I am to have found you!?!

Anonymous said...

I knew I loved you! Thanks for bringing me up to date.

I have another product I love now if you want more sharing. But, you really should try the DHC stuff. It's amazing.

San Diego Momma/Two Funny Brains said...

OK, I'm going for it!

Super cool haircut, here I come!

(Except for the part where I fail to realize that super cool haircuts don't tend to look super cool on me and my hair reverts back to looking like Barbra Streisand In Yentl one day after my salon visit.)


OHmommy said...

I tried to leave you 431 comments after coming home with my L'Oreal loot from Target... but blogger comments weren't working.

So now. After my first glass of vino this evening.

I would like to thanks you a million times over. I got the entire line you recommended. You are great! Really great.

And. Now. For next's week question... How do you deal with a stubborn middle child that refuses to eat her green veggies?

That is all.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

Deb and Tootsie~

I'm thinking about the "Heather Armstrong on the Today show haircut." What do you think? It looks FABULOUS and even holds up under the dissin' of a couple of mean girls. It is hawt and could come in handy at PTA meetings . . .

BS5 Blogger said...

Hi there, how are you? I found your blog via my friend Scargosun who is also on your side of the pond. I like your Blog - it's just full of sunshine and larks! I am going to read a little more and bookmark it.

There's a lotta products going on that I have no idea about! 35 year old Englishemn don't generally contribute to the bottom line of L'Oreal. Are they the 'because you're worth it' people? You know that strap line on their ads is a load of old horse? 'Because we want your cash'...

Have a California day and tell Arnie I said hello if you see him.



Anonymous said...

Like my fellow commenters, I humbly agree that NY and Co ROCKS.

I appreciate you withholding sex from your husband in order to stop by my blog, even if he doesn't.

EatPlayLove said...

Well, I bought the cream after a few posts last month, but they didn't have the night version at target. I will check again to find the night version, as you always seem to highlight that part.

I am working with the something is better than nothing right now. But my hunt continues.

L'oreal should be giving you some props, Tootsie!

San Diego Momma/Two Funny Brains said...



So cute.

I could have just sent you an e-mail, but this way, I think you'll feel publicly responsible for getting the Dooce cut.

That didn't make sense.

I love you*,

*wha???? but I do.

Anonymous said...

Another good strategy for going back to the natural color is strategic use of highlights and lowlights.

When I got pregnant with #2, I realized that I was just not willing to keep the color maintenance up for now. So in the last 5 months, I've had two rounds of darker highlighting. I think the next haircut will get rid of everything not my natural color. It's been very subtle!

Wineplz said...

Love the Bel Biv Devoe reference...

Wineplz said...

also, I never had deep lines in my neck or forehead until after I had my oldest...and I mean, literally...I walked into the bathroom at the hospital several hours after his birth and saw those lines...figure it's excess skin from being blown up like an effing balloon

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