How Could I Forget The Transvestites?

So we're all sitting around the other night after dinner discussing movies and various whatnot [and boy can we talk a whatnot blue streak in this family]; and someone, my father I think, mentioned he'd just seen True Lies for the first time. My father, being somewhat of a connoisseur of action movies, I was excited to relay to him that True Lies happened to be the first movie Mr. Farklepants and I had seen together on our first date lo those many years ago. Yes, the Arnold Schwarzenegger flick. Yes, and Jamie Lee Curtis too. And when I say date I mean I took my roommate along for security because as much as I wanted it to be a date I didn't want Mr. Farklepants to think me anxious to date him. Play games, who? Rules much? Aaaaand we all had a good laugh about my young, angsty man-trapping methods.

Mr. Farklepants: What?
Me: Oh, I was telling them about our first date when I took Roommate with us to see True Lies.
Mr. Farklepants: That's not right.
Me: What?
Mr. Farklepants: You're wrong.
Me: I did take her!
Mr. Farklepants: No, It was The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
Me: ........(!) Oh yeah! (then to my father) Nevermind, it was the movie about the transvestites in Australia.
Dad: ........?



I guess Mr. Farklepants was anxious to date me.

Some of you requested the Alfredo sauce recipe from Monday's entry in the comments and via email. The great thing about this recipe is that it is easy-peasy. And I am all about low maintenance cooking because if there are too many steps to follow or prep work that has to be done in advance I'm all, which pizza place do I have a coupon for? [Quick factoid: When the pizza place and your parent's share the same first three digits in their phone numbers, how many times do you call your mom when you just want Dominos? Answer: Hi Mom, no I really meant to call you I swear I know it's 7pm, so what's up?]

The Alfredo sauce recipe is below, and know this: it makes an obscene amount of sauce - you'll be eating it for days. It's probably best to make this for a large group.

Ingredients:

* 1 pound fettuccine pasta (trust me, you'll need a lot more than that)
* 2 sticks of butter, divided (the thing about cooking - math)
* 1 pound skinless, boneless chicken breasts ( I use the skinless tenders and just dice them up into 1" chunks - cuz I'm all about the bite size)
* 2 (15 oz) containers whole ricotta cheese
* 1 pint heavy cream (I always use heavy whipping cream which is what I assume they mean. If there's another kind of heavy cream out there know that the heavy whipping cream is divine)
* about 1 teaspoon pepper - keep adding while stirring until you can see pepper flecks (the recipe does not call for pepper but I think it kicks ass. The recipe calls for salt but it doesn't need it, I promise)
* 1 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese (purchase a cheese grater - I'm looking at you AFF)
* 1 heaping teaspoon of chopped garlic

1. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add fettuccine and cook for 8-10 minutes. Drain and set aside in large bowl.
2. While the pasta is boiling melt 2-ish tablespoons of butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Saute chicken and garlic until no longer pink.
3. In a large saucepan (emphasis on large) combine ricotta cheese, cream, pepper, Parmesan cheese, and remaining butter. Cook over medium heat until well combined (about 10 minutes). Stir constantly. Add sauteed chicken and all its garlicy drizzliness into the sauce. Stir until it reaches creamy goodness.
4. I add the sauce by the ladle-ful to the drained pasta and toss until it meets my satisfaction. Some people are all about heavy on the sauce while others are like, stop when I say when-WHEN! I fall somewhere in between.

Buona fortuna!