Friday, February 15, 2008

One Flung Poo

You're all: "What's with that title?". And I'm all: "Why the confusion, young Grasshopper?". And then you're like: "Now you're talking like a Kung Fu master! You're being totally weird!". And I'm like: "Woof!". And you're all: "That's so random!".

Jennifer H at Thursday Drive and Anna at Honeywine are both curious to know 7 random or weird things about me and tagged me with the following meme. I'm not adding them together and doing 14. No. It is the proverbial two birds, one stone thingamabob. First the rules and then the random weirdness:

The rules are as follows:
# Link to the person who tagged you
# Post the rules on your blog.
# Share seven random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog.
# Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
# Leave a comment on their blogs so that they know they have been tagged.

1. *Disclaimer: If you're a man and reading this you may want to avert your eyes to prevent bleeding eye wounds - you were warned* I get my period on holidays. Nine times out of ten my special friend wants to celebrate with me. Fourth of July, Valentine's Day (yeah, hi! That's right), Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Flag Day. You name it. And either Christmas or New Years but only because they're a week apart so it's never both. But definitely one of the two.

2. A comment that I left on a Glamour Magazine blog was published in last months edition (with Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey on the cover). I discovered this while reading the issue on the plane during our trip back east. They used my TOOTSIEFARKLEPANTS handle and it was in regards to cleavage in the workplace. And for the record: I'm against it. There's a time and a place for it people. If you want to be taken seriously in business, keep the girls in the shirt.

3. At my 6th grade graduation I was presented with the Friendship Award. The entire 6th grade voted and one boy and one girl were selected. This award was akin to being most popular and I was certain my best friend Wendy would get it. So was she. And it pretty much ended our friendship. Somewhere in my mother's photo albums lurks a picture of my acceptance at the podium and Wendy glaring at me from the risers. Sour grapes = find new best friend in junior high school.

4. I had the chicken pox when I was 13 years old. Why yes, it was pure hell, thanks for asking. I lived in an apartment building and was the resident babysitter so I was exposed to all the infants, tots, and small children who were little petri dishes of infection. My mother was mostly sure that I had already had it when I was two. She was mistaken. I've never, to this day, been as sick as I was then. I missed 3 weeks of school, lost 20 pounds, and became addicted to Benadryl. I also looked like a monster. There was not one centimeter on my body that didn't have a blister. When I say it was everywhere, please, feel free to use your imagination.

5. I've only broken one bone my whole life. My right pinkie finger. Twice. There's not even a good story behind it. I'm so ashamed. The first episode happened while walking home from elementary school when I tripped and fell. In my attempt to hang on to my belongings, I landed on my pinkie. The second time I was doing a cartwheel. In my friend's living room. Obviously, I did it wrong.

6. For one of my teen birthdays I received a set of satin sheets. I also received a pair of satin pajamas. Let's just say that the two together prevent you from getting into bed. I discovered this when eagerly jumping into bed that night...and sliding out the other side.

7. I've moved a total of 18 times in my entire life. Sometimes from one unit to another in the same apartment building. All within a 50 mile radius of my birthplace. My current home is the longest I've ever lived in one place.

Next on the Random It List -and noticing that I really need to update my blogroll:

The Mom Bomb
Bad Mom
Hope for the Hopeless
A Mom Two Boys
Never A Dull Moment
Don Mills Diva
As You Wish


Jen said...

Tootsiefarkelpants in GLAMOUR??


Karen said...

I love all that random stuff. I'm sorry about the pox - they say the older you are the worse it is. Must be true.

Yeah for being published!

AutoSysGene said...

I had the same thing when I had chicken pox...really there should be certain places that you shouldn't be able to get pox.

Nice on the Glamour comment!!

LOL! I can just see you sliding out of the other side of the bed. I actually knew this to for the same reason...who woulda thunk it, huh?

I'll try and get to this sometime next week. That is if I manage to remember it. I only seem to retain songs from the 80's these days...

carmen said...

HA! Satin sheets/satin jammies....made me laughh out loud!

I got the pox my junior year of high school. Oh, the horror!

Madame Queen said...

When I was in third grade we moved to a new house and I really, really, really wanted pink carpet. My mom refused because we were getting green carpet all over the whole house, but she compromised by getting me pink satin sheets instead. I was in heaven!! Until I went to bed and couldn't keep the ($#(*& covers on the bed b/c they kept sliding off!

I can't believe you got published in Glamour!! How awesome is that?

Mrs. G. said...

I'm going to the library today, so I'm going to check out your comment. Way to go, TF.

Wineplz said...

I am still laughing imagining you sliding all the way across the bed in your satin jammies and satin sheets!

Oh, and I got the chicken pox when I was 11. Not sure how much weight I lost, but it was plenty. And it half-developed into shingles because I was in so much pain from them affecting the nerves on my back that I would just cry all day. I also had them inside my mouth and throat (acidic foods were fun!). Even after I came back to school, I looked so bad that the nurse sent me back home for 3 more days. ;)

JCK said...

Tootsie Farklepants, you have ARRIVED. Very cool that 1) they used your moniker and 2)they obviously realize what a gem you are.

I think I enjoyed these random things more than any I've read.

The joke with my husband and I is that I have my period on every vacation we go on, or every time we go out of town.

Satin sheets and satin pj's...and sliding out the other side. CLASSIC. HYSTERICAL IMAGE!

stephanie said...

Appropriately weird stuff, nicely done :) I will stretch (ha) to find so much to tell about myself.

BTW, I'm so with you on the cleavage thing - and being a high school teacher, you might think all of the women I work with would find this a no-brainer. But no.

Thank you for the tag - I do not hate you. (I need ideas for material!)

Jennifer S said...

I have that issue of Glamour--which I bought because my boyfriend Matthew is on the cover--so I had to check out your comment! Our very own Tootsiefarklepants. Have they offered you a column yet?

Loved the satin sheets/pajamas story. The chicken pox episode sounds awful.

You outdid yourself on this meme! Great stories.

Burgh Baby said...

It comes as no surprise that you do random better than anybody! You. crack. me. up.

I think you should start a thing where you try to get Tootsie Farklepants published in as many magazines as possible. I'll send you a big ol' gift basket if you can get it into Time!

A Mom Two Boys said...

Dude. I copied you the other day, that wasn't good enough? Are you punishing me for being 29? :0)

Okay, Okay. I'll play along, but I'll have to wait until Dylan's not sick. Hopefully SOON.

And Glamour? That kicks a*s.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Re: The Pox. It was brutal and I feel for anyone who had to suffer through that in a two digit number age.

Re: The satin sheets/pjs, it was some funny shit. I didn't even slow down a little bit. No traction whatsoever. It all happened so fast!

Re: Glamour! Yeah! That ruled. And was so unexpected. I was like, "Hey! That's me!". I WISH someone would offer me a column! Now I have to try to get into Time (Burgh).

JCK~ Yeah, she's come with us on some vacations too. She's so rude.

Anonymous said...

Oh, sure, go and upshow me on the number of times moved. I thought that 15 times was a lot.

Sour grapes.

Paula Lynn Johnson said...

Way to go, Glamo-rama! I'm against showing cleavage in the workplace too -- mainly because I have no cleavage.

Anonymous said...

Hey, we have a randomness in common! I too have only broken one bone and it was my right pinky. I was playing basketball in 7th grade and the ball hit my pinky wrong, bending it a clean 90 degrees. I now have a deep seeded fear of that sport. Your satin sheet mishap was a very amusing visual. Now I have an idea for an indoor slip n slide.

Anonymous said...

Heehee...I've done the same satin bedding thing. I just did it in front of a new boyfriend. lol

1blueshi1 said...

why on earth would you want to update your blogroll? I am already on it--HEE! I slay me. As the song goes, SAHMGQI IS all you need. Also, thanks for the satin sheets/satin jammies visual. If laughing didn't make me cough I would TOTALLY laugh. At least you didn't break that poor beleaugered pinky again.

A Mom Two Boys said...

I haven't even THOUGHT about the Meme yet (Zach's getting sick now! AHHHHHH!!!!) but I just re-read the 1at paragraph and it totally cracked me up, again. You're too freaking funny.

Anonymous said...

I had the same version of the pox. I was in 1st grade. It is the reason I didn't blink when they offered Child the vaccine.

Texasholly said...

I was totally feeling the intro (that sounds kinda weird now that I typed it).

I can't imagine why they used the Tootsie Farklepants for your probably had editors on the floor laughing. Try again with a really crappy comment and see if you get through on name only.

I have you beat in the moving department (unfortunately!)...ugh.

Nicole said...

The only bone I ever broke was also my right pinkie! Except it was in the sixth grade and I was playing volleyball. Guess you could say I didn't hit the ball right...=(

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Nicole!! :) You should say that the ball hit you wrong.