Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Woman Turns Into Teen - Smites Bullies: News at 10

I wish I had a magic lamp that would grant me just one wish. Today I wish I were a 13 year old boy. I know. Out of all the things to wish for this seems kinda a waste of time; but when your pre-teen son comes home from school and informs you that some kids have been picking on him and "oh, by the way, it's been happening for quite sometime but now I'm telling you, because Mom, I don't want to go to school ever again. PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME!", well I don't need to tell other moms what this does to you. But I will. It makes you lose all maturity and you silently become an advocate for violence. It causes you to want to do murder. Wholesale smoting. Of course, you can't, because it's just wrong. And there is the whole jail thing. But if I were a 13 year old boy I could at least get away with dealing a right good ass kicking. It's just the right age. Not too old so that the fight is unfair, but just old enough to possibly scare some decency back into the soulless little feckwits. That's right. I've resorted to name-calling.

And the worst part about this, as a parent? There is nothing I can do. Calling the police just seems a tad alarmist, if you ask me. If you involve the teacher you just make it worse. If you involve the parents, you just make it even that much worse. I guess that would be "worser". If bullies find out you are a tattletale, and especially if they get in any trouble for it, they don't just suddenly become fine upstanding citizens; they will JUST TRY HARDER TO TORMENT YOUR CHILD. And if they find out that their behavior is bothering your child even a tiny bit, then their life suddenly has meaning. I know this because in 8th grade I had my own bully. We'll just call her C.L. Because, honestly? I'm a little afraid if I type her full name she'll Google and see this admission. And seek me out, show up at my door, force me to meet her at the flagpole after school, and punch me in the face. She was that mean. She hated ALL OF MY GUTS. I know what my son is going through. It's not so much what the bully does or says that causes the anguish. It's the humiliation in front of your peers that makes it the complete nightmare that it is.

So if I were a thirteen year old boy I could have his back on the playground. And I totally would straight up mollywop those bastards. Mollywop is totally a word. From the Urban Dictionary: 1. (I'm not even going to say what #1 is), 2. To be hit with an open hand or closed fist extremely hard. The person hitting you has to follow through and come down with it so that you feel the true force. 3. (Verb)To punch someone directly in the side of the head with a roundhouse. Numbers 2 and 3 are sufficient.


Mrs. G. said...

This kind of stuff does get the mother blood boiling, doesn't it.

I am teacher, and if this continued to be a problem rather than a one time deal, I would talk to your son't teacher. There are ways of handling these situations that don't involve implicating your son as the victim. When things like this are brought to my attention, I watch closely and move in at the first whiff of trouble. I have no tolerance for bully tactics in my classroom.

Poor little guy.

Madame Queen said...

I'm with Mrs. G. I would go ahead and talk to the teacher. I'm sure she understands all the implications of being perceived as a tattler. Grrr. When you go to the playground for the mollywoppin' can I go with? (I'm totally stealing that word -- mollywopping -- but I'll credit you, of course! I'm also going to try to find regular ways to use feckwits. Perfect. Not too cuss-y. But totally gets the point across.)

seachange said...

I three, advise talking w/ the teacher AND the guidance counselor if you have one. I agree w/ mrs. g. that there are ways to handle the problem w/o the other kids realizing he "talked".

Our school system sponsors evening meetings for parents and daytime talks with the students on bullying. They are held at least twice during the school year. There is also a student club/group in the middle school that meets on a regualr basis w/ the principal to talk about methods to discourage bullying and to educate the kids about effects of bullying.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Thank you ladies! Right now we're doing the "just stay away from them when you can, and ignore them when you can't" defense. He's promised to let me know if it is a continued problem and I will go to the teacher and have her keep an eye on the situation. Like you said mrs. g. "so she can move in on the first whiff of trouble".

madame queen~ I admit that I get most of my vocabulary from re-runs of "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air".

dorothy said...

What are their names? I wanna make those suckers wish they were never born. NOBODY is going to pick on my nephew!!!!!!!!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Would you like for me to make you a list? ;-)