Friday, February 22, 2008

My Weekend Has A First Name, It's O-S-C-A-R

It's almost time for the Academy Awards people. And if you're anything like me, this is kind of a big deal. Why? I. Don't. Know. It just is. So make your preparations: drinks, snacks in brightly covered packages, various appetizers, Vera Wang and Chanel. Gear up for the red carpet arrival and by all means turn the channel if that asshole Joan Rivers rears her plastic corpse head. And her stupid daughter too [if I were a celebrity I would totally snub her at all functions I don't know why anyone bothers saying boo to her I mean for the love of GOD!] And get in on an Oscar pool and make your predictions [more on that to follow]. But first? An announcement: Melissa at Hope for the Hopeless gave me this groovy Cool Cat Award! I'm totally a dog person but cool cats are a different breed! I mean, for real.

And now I'm passing this on to some very cool people even though at least one of these cool cats has a very stinky dog: Burgh Baby's Mom, Melanie at Beanpaste, The Madame Queen, The Mom Bomb, and Suburbancorrespondent. This is far from the only cool cats, it's just that Tootsie can only do so much linking for one day.

On to other matters: The following are my Academy Awards winner predictions, and by predictions I mean fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants guesses because I've only seen one of the movies nominated for anything worth winning, and I predict that that one particular movie Michael Clayton will win exactly zero awards. I'm only doing the "big" categories because, I mean come on, WHO has seen any of the nominations for Live Action or Animated Short? Not me, that's who. And if you plan on using my predictions to help in your own pool? Let me just go on record as saying that's probably not a wise choice. I predict the following will have acceptance speeches prepared even if they claim the contrary:

Best Movie: No Country For Old Men
Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis
Best Actress: Marion Cotillard
Best Supporting Actress: Saoirse Ronan
Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem
Best Director: “No Country for Old Men” Joel Coen and Ethan Coen

I'd also like to go on record as saying that I'd like to be this lucky woman in the worst possible way on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday Sunday:

29 comments:

Angie said...

Don't hate me for this, but I find the Oscars - mindnumbingly boring. I find the whole charade awkward to watch - the outfits some should be embarrassed to don, the staged speeches, the obligatory laughs, the models awkwardly leading $30M/movie actors stage left instead of stage right. I do not watch them. I get the lowdown the next day via Internet.
KEEP BELIEVING

Marlee said...

Okay, how pathetic is my life that I don't even know who THREE OF THE FOUR nominated actors/actresses ARE????

I WILL get my life back when my kids are older...right???

Madame Queen said...

I sooo hope Georgie wins. That way I can easily eyeball him for at least a couple of minutes while he makes his acceptance speech. Plus, if he wins, there's guaranteed to be tons of photos of him for DAYS afterwards. I don't know who this Sara Larson person is, but I hate her.

And thank you SO MUCH for my Cool Cat award. That is the awesomest of the awesome! And so are you!

Bunny Bunster said...

I'm with Marlee...I got no clue.

Plus, I think I might just be the only person on the planet that does not find George sexy. He just doesn't do it for me. Johnny Depp? Oh yeah!! Brad Pitt? Color me there!! Orlando Bloom? Come on over!!

BOSSY said...

Ohhhhhhhh yes, Bossy has a date with Oscar and it involves a lot of wine.

Melissa said...

I have got to figure out who this Javier is already...sheesh!

Lulu said...

The last movie that I saw at the theater was The Simpsons Movie. Is Bart up for an award?

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Thank you for the nod. I'd like to thank my parents, and my friends, and the agent that I don't have yet...

HRH said...

George just settled until you are available...

Melissa said...

You and me both, Girlfriend.

I love Oscar weekend. If I could, I'd spend the whole evening and part of the afternoon watching it--like Superbowl pre-game. Good predictions, too.

jennifer h said...

Can I just have him on Thursdays? I love George. I think he knows.

I had big plans to rush out to see any of the nominated movies. Atonement and Charlie Wilson's War are the only two I've seen with any nominations. I'm just that with it.

Have a fun Oscar night!

Keri said...

oh.... yummie yummie george candy.... oh how i wish i was single and skinny !! but boy do i like to look...

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Congrats and thanks!

The only way I think I could stomach actually watching an award show recognizing many movies I have not seen, many people I do not recognize, and many things I do not notice, is if it were with a gallon of strawberry daquiries, a tray of brownies, and the company of some snarky friends. Sadly, you live too far away.

Stu said...

My Woman (Bad Mom) plans quite a shin-dig with dresses, balloting, prizes, wine, and an actual red carpet she rolls out.

I was the Paparazzi one year and took pictures of each guest as they arrived.

-Stu

Melanie said...

I will throw something if Marion Cotillard doesn't win. But not at the precious, precious plasma, because that might spell D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Michael Clayton is the only one I saw also. Hmmmmmmm, George Clooney was in that movie. Coincidence? I think not!

Ya... About That said...

Oh girlfriend. I'm so about the Oscars. Love the dresses. Love the tuxes. Love the stupid models who can't remember which way to walk, despite the days and days of rehearsals. Love it. I too have no idea who those nominated people are -- I just like to watch the pretty, pretty people. that's all. i'll be having a conversation with you about choices of outfits on monday. hearts...

ALF said...

George Clooney is one hot old man.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

GASP!! How can one not be a fan of the Oscars?!

Marlee~ Eventually. Until then there is Netflix.

Madame Queen~ You're welcome! And I concur.

Bunny~ I'll let this blasphemy slide because you mentioned Depp and Bloom.

BOSSY!! I look forward to a very BOSSY recap.

Melissa~ You must. He's swoony.

lulu~ Um. no.

Suburbancorrespondent~ You're very welcome!

HRH~ I thought so.

Melissa~ good analogy.

Jennifer H~ I forgot about Charlie Wilson's War! I saw that too.

keri~ He's very easy on the eyes.

BBM~ I'd love to get snarky with you!

stu~ did you crouch in the bushes and antagonize them to get "the" shot?

Melanie~ yeah. don't do that.

jenn~ exactly on purpose.

ya about that~ me too!!

stu said...

No crouching or jumping out. I would get a serious time-out if I antagonized the guests.

I am there to keep snacks and beverages in bountiful supply. I am more like the hired help that happens to get to sleep with the hostess.

-Stu

JCK said...

Hey, congrats on the Cool Cat Award. It is SO you and you are a cool cat. ;)

I love the Academy Awards, too! My husband actually co-starred in a live action short that won the Academy Award in 2001. Yes, I'm bragging. I can do that in comments, can't I? It was very cool. Although I wasn't at the actual awards, we did get to go to the parties..in the limo and fondling the awards. :)

Maybe George will bring his mommy this year.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

stu~ that's one hell of a perk.

jck~ That is about one of the COOLEST things I've ever heard! Most excellent! Definitely brag-worthy.

calicobebop said...

Have you read the book "Sweet Potato Queen's Book Of Love?" Well, they have a ritual for watching pagents and my house pretty much follows that template for Oscars. Since I can't wear a fabulous gown and stroll down the red carpet I think I'll make fun of the people who can. :)

Jan said...

I really like Amy Ryan for best supporting actress. No opinion on best actress, but I agree with the remainder of your choices. I loved No Country for Old Men.

stephanie said...

My man knows how to make the Oscar party roll...And he'll be doing even more tomorrow since I'm in flu-recovery mode but cannot bring myself to cancel the party.

I agree with you on Picture, Actress, Supporting Actor, and Director but I'm thinking Tommy Lee will get Actor and Ruby Dee Supporting Actress(kind of a "we've neglected most of your great work before now" awards).

I must say I'm awfully sad the 3:10 to Yuma men weren't nominated; I do hope they show up to support the soundtrack mixers...

Colleen said...

did you see the SNL jabs at Javier Bardem last night? I was literally rolling on the floor laughing...although I'm sure that the half-bottle of wine I consumed might've added to the revelry.
And I'm totally in love with George Clooney, too. I could listen to him talk for hours!!!!
Although, why don't the Oscars add some new categories, like Hottest Leading Actor, Hottest Supporting Actor, etc.? That would certainly make things a bit more exciting and make up for the dull categories like "Best Key Grip".

Karen said...

Tootsie, you really are a cool cat! Congrats on your well-earned awards.

Nicole said...

Wow! You were right about so many! Good job.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Nicole~ Those were the only ones I did well on! Ask your friend. She kicked ass!