Tootsie's weekly advice column. She's no expert, although she's not really sure what constitutes "expert". If it involves school, she attended the school of Very Strong Opinions. Questions are welcomed. Answers may borderline ridiculous.
At the mere mention urging from several commenter's, I'm starting a weekly advice column. Without further ado...
~Fashion and Beauty~
Q: Burgh Baby's Mom would like to know if "Matching mom and daughter pajamas. Supa-cute or supa-dork?"
A: I say, it depends. Same patterns and fabric are okay but I would go with different styles (i.e. cami and bottoms for Mom, footsies and long sleeves for baby). This only works if the child is under the age of 10. And if you're both adults just stop it. I would really hate to see you end up on a talk show where your children accuse you of not dressing your age. And this just has to be said; grown ups never wear princess themed anything. Unless you are an offical princess of a legitimate country and that themed thing is a crown.
Q: Burgh Baby's Mom would also like to know "What color eye shadow is best for blue eyes?"
A: Browns, taupes, and golds. Sometimes pinks but that's kinda risky. You could be mistaken for a 12 year old. And always black mascara. That goes for any eye color.
~Health and Fitness (file under: nutrition)~
This advice applies no matter who you are: Don't let this happen to you:
And Diet Pepsi is never a justification for what just happened there. I'm not saying it happened to me but I'm not saying it didn't either. Also? Someone needs to introduce her desperate grout to some needy, clingy bleach.
25 comments:
You mean I have to rid my make-up drawer of my electric blue mascara I have been clinging to since 1986? Shoot!
KEEP BELIEVING
question for next week:
are sick children an excuse for oversized sweats, unshowered bodies (all of us), unbrushed teeth (all of us), uncombed hair (all of us), and eating binges (some of us - not saying who). Where do we draw the line for acceptable?
KEEP BELIEVING
I should have read this BEFORE the 7 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies became 3!
Will you bring your leftover bleach and do my grout too?
Oh. My. God. Those coconut-caramel things are THE BEST.
Everybody knows that a diet soda completely and totally offsets any sugar that you might or might not have ingested.
Yum. Girl Scout cookies.
LOL. I like the advice column! Cute.
Next time you go where you bought those delicious looking Girl Scout Cookies, could you buy me some? And I'll pay you back? Or just tell me where you got them? Because I want some and I haven't seen any of those darn girl scouts.
We started with 6 assorted boxes, two weeks ago. We're only down 2 1/2. Which isn't bad, considering that a single serving of Thin Mints is one whole sleeve, not the paltry 4 cookies it says on the box.
Here's one for you: Will you show up at my house every day and be my personal trainer, so that I can wear jeans that size? (Ignore above paragraph when you consider your answer.)
I don't think I know anyone, who's totally honest with themselves, who hasn't done exactly that with those dang caramel delites.
Amen on the matching outfits bit. Creeps me OUT when women do that with their daughters. It's like, get your own friend, sheesh!
Whew! I was on the right side of the fence on both issues. Thanks goodness!
Now for more pressing matters, where the hell are my Girl Scout Cookies? OK, so I didn't know anyone that was selling them, but shouldn't I be seeing tables of lazy girls around town selling my very much so needed lemon things? Where are they? Hello? I WANT COOKIES!
Good advice! So, do you think my idea to dress my whole family in matching red plaid pajamas (different styles, same fabric, of course) for a Christmas card photo is dorky?
You don't have to answer. It's an idea whose time is gone now that I have teenagers. In my twenties with little babies I think we could have pulled it off, but I never got it together.
Dang it . . . I've got to rethink my whole eyeshadow color scheme . . . then again, haven't had the chance to wear it since, when was J born again, oh yeah, for six months.
I really thought Diet Pepsi made everything better . . . even the damage done by GSC. I'm kinda mad because no girl scout came to my house . . .
Tootsie,
Just wanted to let you know I was finally able to do a strikethrough on today's blog!
I owe it all to you!!
WHOOT!!
Once again you have succeeded in making me laugh. I don't mean this in any sort of gay way, but you make me happy.
Thank you for the filing instructions, I was a little foggy where to put that last bit of information.
Loved the Q & A. I was wondering if you could address a question in the future: Are sailor suits OK to dress boy babies if so, what age must the mother cease dressing her boy child as a sailor?
You make me laugh girl.
I will take those cookies so that you need not worry about consuming unnecessary calories.
Oh, wait. I'm die-ting. Drat.
Oh..fine!! I just blogged about Girl Scout cookies the other day...are you teasing me, orwhat?!?!? LOVE those Do-Si-Dos!!
And yes...black mascara...tried some of that blue stuff one time...nononononono!! That was just wrong.
I like the burgundy mascara that Almay has for their define green eyes collection--but cover girl's new lash blast has blown everything else off the map for me. also I saw a new print ad for physicians formula eyeshadow palettes to bring out the color of your eyes and I am definitely going to pick up the one for hazel, the colors looked soo pretty.
That's rather sage advice. Bravo. Though I would add, re the pyjamas thing, that wearing the matching set to Walmart is unacceptable in any cirsumstance.
And re the sweetness binge, the worst thing in the pic was the "diet" Pepsi. Evil stuff, truly evil, and made even more so by people thinking it might halfway make up for the other stuff.
A friend of mine describes it thus... "Diet Pepsi (or diet coke, of course)... #1 choice of fat chicks everywhere".
For those wondering where the hell the Girl Scout cookies are, so far I've bought these from neighbors and school acquaintances. Give it a bit of time and before you know it they'll be staking out all of your favorite retail establishments.
Allie~ I totally laughed out loud at that!
Bunny Bunster~ yay you!
Jennifer H~ If I lived closer I would totally enable, I mean train you.
Dorothy~ I'm on it!
angie & dkuroiwa~ Yeah, primary colored mascara is so 1987.
1blueshi1~ I've seen those but haven't tried them yet. Of course, I've been wearing the same color eye shadow for about 7 years. Hey, when it works...
chester~ good to see you around again!
Thanks for all the new questions too! I'll get to work.
Tootsie, this is a great idea! To eat girl scout cookies and diet coke. No coke. Pepsi. No coke. Pepsi. Well..maybe no diet.
I loved the picture of you in the classroom.
I'll be thinking on the questions.
yeah, I can't quite pull off the gold and/or yellow-based browns since I have freakishly pink skin. If I've got a good tan, then I'm alright...but a good tan...well, haven't had one since summer of '06 (last summer I was not going anywhere near any sort of heat source while still pregnant or post-partum-hot-flashin'). And since the sun is all bad for you (cancer, schmancer), guess that might be a good question for you...what would be a good OTC self-tanner that won't make me look an oompa-loompa and won't make me stink for days?
the girl scout cookies! they are so wrong!
but they are so right.
Curse those Girl Scouts! So sweet, yet sooooo evil!
I just like the picture :)
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