Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I Think We Can All Breath a Sigh of Relief That I Didn't Need the Sewing Machine

It was decided that the children's names were to be put on their soccer jerseys. I'm going to spare you the rant because, seriously, I'm sick of me. Anyway, when the boys play softball, the coach takes it upon himself and by that first game the players have their shirts with their names on them. At least that's been the case. Strike that. I'm lying right to you. There was one exception the year that I was team mom and I had the names put on the shirts [Helpful hint: don't trust the spelling of the children's names on the coach's roster and make sure to verify with the parents first because you might end up with an extremely displeased mother on your hands and find yourself intimidated by her calling every establishment in the yellow pages until you find the one clear across town that can remove the letters and fix it without damaging the shirt. Because of course the place that originally put the names on aren't in the business of removing them. Reason #1 that I will never be a team mom again].

Instead of pooling together the six dollars per player to have this professionally done; I can only surmise that someone wanted to see the look on my face when I heard the words "iron" and "on". Two little known facts about me: 1) I'm one of those people who would rather pay someone to do something for me, especially because: 2) Iron, who?

I am not one of those crafty mothers. If a button comes off your shirt I can probably get it back on but I make no guarantee that it will stay for any length of time; like through the end of the day. Or that it will actually line up with the button hole. Details. So not only did I have to A) locate my iron which I'm sure I hadn't seen since the day we moved in here eleven years ago, but B) I had to follow craft directions, get the letters in a straight line, and most importantly C) not melt the shirt.

After dusting the iron [I'm not even kidding please click to enlarge]

I arranged the letters on Girl-Child's soccer jersey and managed to get the job done. So what if there is a slight angle. I never promised it would be done right. I would show you the finished product but I do attempt anonymity when it comes to my children so you're going to have to trust me on this one. And now I know which player is my child because before this I totally couldn't figure it out. Oh, okay, number six IS my daughter. I wasn't sure.



P.S. New post up at Blissful Buzz, check it out! [Note: the last word of my article was "vagina". I'm going to give my poor editor a heart attack with my scandalousness]

28 comments:

Swirl Girl said...

We are two peas in a warped pod.

I don't iron - I am not even sure how to pronounce it. I actually thought it was an old fashioned telephone from the 40's. And, don't even get me started on the funny looking surfboard with the collapsable 'X' bottom.

I don't sew, I don't craft. I don't art docent.

If you want it done right! Hire a professional!!

hahahaha

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Scandalous can be good.

Don't ever sign your kids up for martial arts. There are all these patches to sew on and the kids are yelled at if their mother doesn't do it right.

calicobebop said...

I'm with Suburbn Correspondent - Marial Arts would be painful for you. Patches and little stars, it never ends!

BTW, in what year was that iron purchased? I didn't think they made them in "almond" anymore. *snicker*

Karen said...

Actually, I give you many props for getting that done. Those jersey fabrics melt quickly. Ask me how I know.

texasholly said...

Holy crap. I think I have that iron...received it as a wedding gift 17 years ago. In fact, that could be my actual iron. I haven't seen it in years.

OMG. I guess I am just not thrifty at heart because when it comes to these kinda things I really think bringing in a professional for a whole six bucks is best.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I have never heard of DIY when it comes to the names on a jersey.

MamaHenClucks said...

I actually love to iron - watching wrinkles magically disappear from clothing. . . .

BUT, ironing on letters and crafty things? Not ever. My little guy is in something with a vest and patches (I don't know what it's called) and they are supposed to be sewn on but I cheated and superglued. They all fell off during their rec time one night. Oops.

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

I think Mama Hen is not human.

Six bucks is it? Yeah, I'd have it done, too.

I honestly, do not know where my iron is. Thinking about it makes me want to go look for it. Actually, no it doesn't.

KEEP BELIEVING

g said...

Iron? What's that?

I make of point of not buying any garment that requires ironing. It works for me.

For names on sports jerseys, definitely call the pros.

You are making me so glad my time in the mommy trenches has passed!

smalltownmom said...

My kids didn't do team sports so I missed all of this fun.

Mrs. G. said...

What is this iron thing you speak of?

Christine said...

I don't iron either as a rule, but I'm finding that I have to rethink that position if I'm going to actually learn to sew on that machine that I paid far too much money for. I'm just trying to figure out how to use it in secrecy so that no one gets the idea that I'll be ironing shirts for them.

Sue said...

Watch out for Brownies too. Oy the patches. And um... that iron looks a little too old to be safe. I'd stick it right back in the closet!

Undomestic Diva said...

I do believe I own an iron, but I'm almost certain it's for the sole purpose of melting wax onto snowboards.

I was under the impression that to get wrinkles out of clothes, you simply needed to throw the article of clothing in the dryer for ten minutes and WA-LAA!! perfect!

Debbie said...

Thumbs-up for lettin' Moms handle the lettering! I'm sure it'll look great!

I was "Debbie" in eleven yearbooks & student directories, and on the check that I wrote for my color guard jacket my senior year -- but somehow it ended up with "Deby" embroidered on it. There was nobody in town who could fix it. Fifteen years later, it's still in the back of My Mom's closet, and it may still have the "angry customer" tag on it.

The Glamorous Life said...

Because I so desperately WANT to understand all that is YOU and your world. I starred at the last photo FOREVER looking for the 'floral sheet'....Ah-HA! The goal! Can you please use an ARROW for the comedically challenged and those of us who do not have the eye sight of superman? Thank you.
:)

mommy2twinkies-Deb said...

You crack me up! That's too funny! I wouldn't want to be the team mom or anything either. I do have to say that I have a crazy ironing obsession.

Kaye Butler said...

This is an OMG moment!!! We seriously dusted off our iron last week to IRON ON, VOTE FOR TAYLOR tee shirts during the Student Council Race!

Yours looks better than mine!

Um, my iron on thingy did NOT work, she wore it anyway...maybe that's why she didn't win...

MamaGeek said...

I am SO witcha. I couldn't even do those hook a rug kits! OY.

hippo brigade said...

Your iron is vintage. You don't see a lot of orange and grey when it comes to ironing anymore. You can probably sell that sucker and buy something you really need, like a robot to do all your housework. Or a monkey, monkeys are very dexterous.

Super B's Mom said...

I gave my iron away. Ironically, to my mother-in-law. Just last week I told her I was upset b/c I had a hole in my jeans and she said "Why don't you just patch it?"

There was a brief pause - followed by our hysterical laughter.

apathy lounge said...

Vagina is scandalous? What kind of website IS this? Wait..don't tell me. Is Sarah Palin running it?

Suzanne said...

neener-neener... the layer of dust on my iron is thicker than your layer of dust. (I would support that claim with pictures, except that my camera battery is deader than your camera battery.)

Heather of the EO said...

I don't know where my iron is.

Anonymous said...

Oh my god you crack me up.

Fire your editor - they deleted vagina and didn't catch that it should be the princes of Wales?? (although princes of Whales kind of conjures up a funny images...)

Burgh Baby said...

Shut up. You mean I could be ironing at home instead of paying the cleaners to do it? Wow! And, uh, no thank you.

Bunny Bunster said...

Don't do Scouting either! You have to sew on patches. Or do like I did and super glue them on!! (seriously!!)

Anna See said...

When I got out my iron to sew on scout patches, my kids asked what it was. They had never seen it before.