Thursday, September 25, 2008

Those With Delicate Constitutions Should Drive With Their Eyes Closed



This photo was taken by Mr. Farklepants yesterday morning on his way to work. Which apparently was no easy feat at 90 miles per hour a great rate of speed in his natural gas Honda while trying to train and focus his Blackberry on the tail of this woman's car. Yes, that's right you heard me. Woman. A woman is driving around with this on her car.

I'll never look at a Porche the same way again. And I'd really hate to be engaged in a word association game and have someone say "Porche" and then watch in horror the word that escapes these lips.

What's the most interesting vanity plate you've read? And/or what does yours (assuming you have one) say about you?

**We here at Vintage Thirty would like to extend our thanks to Mr. Farklepants for risking his life and the lives of others to provide blog fodder. We think he's kinda rad.**

64 comments:

Jarrard said...

Husband has a motorcycle with the plate "JOX". This is a derivative of his initials.

To be creative and follow suit with him he said that if I get one my plate should be "BOX"....

Ahem, I respectfully declined.

calicobebop said...

We get a lot of vanity plates that have to do with the beach around here.

"BECHLOKAL" beach local
"OBXANIOUS" outer banks-ious

Sometimes I see one refering to the subject's relative cuteness:

"2CUTE4U" Too cute for you
"QTPIE" Cutie Pie

Frankly, I've never had the desire to label myself, but that's probably because I'm too indecisive.

hulagirlatheart said...

Tell Mr. Farklepants we really appreciate the sacrifice he made for our amusement. After all, we're all me me me over here.

Best plate I've seen lately? SHESEDYS on the back of a souped up mustang that appeared to be some gentleman's mid life crisis purchase.

Debbie said...

Plese thank your husband for me. This is the funniest thing. So, if this person is somewhere and they have to announce that she has left her lights on, what do you guess they say?

Naomi said...

I had one that was to read All Sass ... cuz I've been known to speak my mind. Problem is, the DMV left out the SPACE ... so it read AllsAss ... I didn't keep it for long.

Michelle said...

I've seen quite a bit of stupid ones, but one that actually made me chuckle was one that said "CMYHALO" (see my halo).

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

The DMV has a standard line when a vanity plate has gone too far: "Not suitable for issuance." I would know this because a guy a dated right after high school tried to get "MY IUD" on his new (and awesome) car. I am surprised that the DMV issued that plate, but more surprised some woman would drive around with it. Not that I have a delicate constitution by any means, but well, I'm just surprised. So? To answer your question: I don't have a vanity plate, although I did try to get NMBUS2K for my husband's car. It was taken.

Burgh Baby said...

The dumbest one I've seen lately was the mini van with "ABSTNCE." Yeah, whatever.

In high school I had LQQKOUT. Loved it!

O'Neal (The woman in charge around here) said...

The funniest I have ever seen was on a sweet BMW convertible and it said "Was His" ;).

We couldn't agree on one in particular for our ride so we just went with the standard issued one. However it begins with PWT xxxx and the only way I can remember it is Poor White Trash!

All Adither said...

Thanks Mr. F. Does that say Shitface?

Lo said...

oh lordy i hate vanity plates!!!! i swear every single person i've encountered on the road that has them, CANNOT DRIVE. seriously. to save their souls, CAN NOT DRIVE. it drives me, literally ,insane. i have to say this is the worst i've ever seen. but hey! mr. farklepants is pretty freakin awesome to capture this just for your internet fans amusements. you have to admit that this woman must be off her rocker.

in fact, i'd be afraid to drive 90 mph anywhere NEAR this car.

this is not really related but still interesting- i was driving to work maybe 2 weeks ago and i saw a semi that was transporting cattle. and on the back, in red block letters, it said "peta" and below it, said, 'people eating tasty animals.'

needless to say i took a picture of that. which was no small feat going (90) a suitable speed considering the speed limit.

smalltownmom said...

I'm really surprised the DMV passed that. I know some folks who tried to get something that included the word SUX (it was kind of joke, a dig at a former employer) and the DMV wouldn't issue it.

Anonymous said...

I saw a hearse with a plate that said U 2 1DAY. downer.

EatPlayLove said...

I think it's time for mr.farklepants to start his own blog, don't you think. You know he wants to.

My question is, was she pretty? I would imagine she had a lot of work.

Nut Nut said...

I feel stupid. It took me a long time to figure it out. Go me! I hate clever license plates such as these that are really obvious to others and not myself.

MamaHenClucks said...

Oh I'm laughing, laughing! I hate vanity plates but then in the comments, I saw Lo talking about the PETA that stands for People Eating Tasty Animals and we saw that on a truck a few years ago and STILL laugh about it. I want one SOOOOOO badly because it makes me laugh every single time. Ah. Thanks for a good chuckle this morning!

Mr. Farklepants said...

I did not get a really good look at her but the lady driving that car was at least 70 years old and looked more like 80.

MommyTime said...

Either I can't read properly, or that is the most hideous plate I've ever seen. Are the first three letters REALLY C-N-T ????? Because I can only read that one way. And I can't imagine any woman on the planet driving that one (at least, any woman who speaks English). Maybe I just need to get my mind out of the gutter (or buy stronger glasses)...

Anonymous said...

A great bumper sticker I once saw, on a beat up old VW bus (you know, the ones with the curtains in the windows?): "Who are the Grateful Dead, and why are they following me?"

ccr in MA said...

My mother saw a plate years ago, on a blue Horizon, that said, "BEYOND". I've always loved that.

The hearse one is just depressing, isn't it?

the MomBabe said...

The only one I can remember is:

"LV RDHDS" - love redheads

Maggie, Dammit said...

OH. MY. GOSH.

It makes me really want to know what the back story is here. I mean, maybe she got the car in a divorce settlement? Maybe she caught her ex and his mistress calling her that, and then she took him for everything he was worth (hence the Porsche) and got the plates?

Or maybe I just watch too much Lifetime Movie Network?

barbra said...

I've been wracking my brain trying to come up with some "other" meaning for that, what the person and the DMV thought it was saying. Haven't figured out anything yet!

Enjoying the comments. That hearse! That's awful.

Mrs. G. said...

Does that say what I think it says? Now that would be fun to explain to the kids.

Maybe she's a gynacologist?

Lindsey and Adam said...

My mom had a vanity plate that said GO TPLS 1
She had a convertible, but let me tell ya, it was pretty weird when I was 16 driving that car around.... :)
Oh and the 1 has no significance...I guess someone else already had GO TPLS....

Allison said...

When I had my red Honda in high school my mom got me a license plate that said BUGRRED. It is pronounced booger red. That's what my mom calls me sometimes. Don't ask I have no idea.

I've also seen:
PRASGOD - praise God
ROTSAP - pastor backward
FO SHOW - for sure

Jaci said...

Over the weekend I saw a mom screaming and beating the crap out of her kid in a parking lot while crowds formed open mouthed in horror--then she jumped in an average, "budget" SUV that said NOT URS.

Then my husband called Children's Services on her. I guess now her kid will be NOT HERS. I can hope, anyway.

foolery said...

WOW -- that's hard to fathom! Thanks to Mr. Farklepants for his heroics.

My uncle, who is in his late 70s, has

SHRMHNTR

I always wonder what people think it means. It's "shroom hunter," because he's a mushroom expert. If people guess it, do they think he's into magic mushrooms -- at 77?

It is in California, so anything's possible. :)

Mr. Farklepants said...

Just to be clear cause it is slightly hard to read but the plate really does read:

CNTFACE

I've been trying to come up with some other meaning myself to no avail.

thebeesknees said...

A woman drives around my city with the license plate "PERKY M". My sister and I have a history with this woman and her inability to drive like a normal person. I once honked at her for waiting FOREVER to get through an insane intersection that was miraculously free, and she took off like a scared rabbit. From henceforth, any driver that was acting like they were scared of breathing, much less being in a vehicle, conjured up memories of PERKY M. I still get text messages, 5 years later, saying "I just saw PERKY M. Still annoying."

thedailysnark said...

Can't Face what? Oh. Nice. Hee hee.

Angie said...

LOL @ Mrs. G -- "Maybe she's a gynacologist?" Oh criminy! LMBO

Undomestic Diva said...

I'm not sure about what the actual license plate, but I want one of those license plate frames that says "If you're gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair."

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

How did that get past the license plate approval folks?!

I had a friend in high school who was refused 1RADJAP because it was racist. ?

If you drive a Hummer with a vanity plate I will totally be hatin' on you.

scargosun said...

That HAS to be the product of a divoce settlement. You know, if you get the car you have to use this license plate.

wrekehavoc said...

mine says WHT XIT. cos i'm from new jersey :-)

blissfullycaffeinated said...

Oh no she DIIN'T! Like everyone elese, I can't believe that got through the California DMV. They usually catch stuff like that.

Your husband is to be commended for his ninja photo skilz.

Shania said...

Mine says VERY 42N8, which is very fortunate, NOT very 50.

Heather of the EO said...

Shut up.
I can't wait to get one just like it...or wait. NO NO, I don't like it!

I've never seen anything that even comes close.

I hope i never do!

Swirl Girl said...

that has to be the most disgusting word in the enlgish language.
how can this woman(?) NOT know what it means?

maybe she has a BTTRFCE - you know, everything about her is hot but her face?

One Reader said...

I, along with everyone else here, cannot come up with any other words this could stand for. But I do kind of think Maggie, Damnit might have gotten it with the Lifetime Movie analogy. Also maybe the person that okay'ed it at the DMV lives in a box and thought it would be funny to see the silly woman driving around in her porshe with that on the back.

Anonymous said...

The two funniest license plates I've seen:
a Saab owner who had SNAAB,
and yes, my OB/GYN, whose license plate is STORKY.
'cuz, you know, she delivers babies.

cactus petunia said...

Thanks alot, Mr. Farklepants. Won't be forgetting THAT one any time soon!

Star said...

OMG that is funny I was gonna post about a plate we saw. I can't remember how it was spelled but there was a girl in a new mustang and the plate read I PUT OUT or a version of that.

Tramp!

mysecondjournal said...

OMG..she has to be clueless...blond maybe :-P

REAL blond

Manic Mommy said...

WTF?

Mr$. G - HAHAHA!

Be$t one I ever $aw:

4U2NV

Yeah, $till having the $ i$$ue$

Mother Goose said...

ok, i don't get it.
cntface

cant face?

scent face

SEE N T face?

what??

Baby Favorite said...

Now that is some kind of class. I bet she loves explaining it to small children!

Takes all kinds...

Redneck Mommy said...

Damn. It takes some balls to drive around with that license plate.

I don't know whether to applaud or shudder.

Wowsa.

Mel, A Dramatic Mommy said...

Mr. Farklepants you get an A. Holy cow, that's some plate. There's someone in law enforcement looking that person up right now.

Auds at Barking Mad said...

Woahhhh, just woahhhh.

Our license plates are pretty boring, just the standard Maine lobster plates....although, and this is kinda humiliating, grown adults having these kind of plates and all. The black SUV plates say Angel, the green AWD plates say Buffy and the white Volvo plates say Spike. Yeah, I sent my oldest kid to college driving a Volvo with plates named after a vampire. I'm sure, if the Swedes could see this, they'd take my Volvo away.

I'm going to go crawl into a hole now. thankyouverymuch.

Jennifer H said...

My favorite plate was on a Jeep, and it said JSTFU. First three words: Just Shut The ... I got it in about 2 seconds, and my husband couldn't figure out why I was laughing.

My plate says MAV - Mr. H gave me the poker nickname Maverick. So there you have it. I can't decide if I'm over it now. Maybe so.

Liz said...

most memorable was about 25 years ago - on an IROC Z-28 (that dates me, yes?) the plate read NROLL.

Dopey, but memorable.

My sister's first husband's first wife's name was Wanda (did I just write that?) the first 3 letters of Wanda's license plate were SBW - sis always referred to that divorce settlement car as the sonofabitchwanda. 20 years later I still crack up when I see SBW on a license plate.

kathy in alabama said...

We frequent a Greek place in Birmingham that is awesome. The owner lady has GYROS4U on her car. Too cute!

Mrs. T said...

The priest at our church has "GO2MASS" on his.

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

Thanks to Mr F. That is classic.

Anonymous said...

Saw this at my kids elementary school "ROLLU1".

Drug dealer?

Martie of

http://uncontainedchaos.blogspot.com

The Glamorous Life said...

I just took a photo of one that read "HATEFUL"....wow what a downer...

Anonymous said...

Saw one just tonight that should belong to my best friend:

L8ARRGH

Collette said...

Maybe the car was a divorce settlement and her ex really wanted to screw with her so he threw that plate on there.

I am really bad at reading plates. I can never figure out what they are supposed to say. Like this: WITJJA. It says Why I Teach, June July August? Seriously? Who would get that?

g said...

That lady must have some complicated self-image issues!

Jamie AZ said...

Yikes, that is a frightening plate, isn't it?!

Nearly twenty years ago, when I started college, my (CA) license plate was PRFKNST - perfectionist. Only one day, a girlfriend of mine used her hands to cover up the PR and the ST and then called me a F*CK!NG perfectionist.... so funny! I still have the plates somewhere in the garage.

dkuroiwa said...

Good job, there, Mr. Farklepants...you are Mr. Johnny on the Spot there with the camera!!

and really? what the hell else could that mean? would seriously love to get the whole story behind that! Did someone lose a bet?

Colleen said...

Since you have family here, I'm sure you're more than aware of the obnoxious amounts of vanity plates in VA. And I'm more than happy to add to them.

old plates: CHCOGL (Chicago Gal)
current: my website......

Seen around NoVA:
1K FALCN (Millenium Falcon)
H8S 66 (Hates 66, the major east/west expressway in NoVA)
BCH PLZ (I don't think they're asking politely for the beach)
SOD OFF (ingenius use of a circular school seal as the second O)
IL N8V (Illinois Native...and we've seen this for nearly all 50 states)
DR REH (we are adamant this is "diarrhea")
66 IS 666 (another hater of I-66)
JRK FACE
MEOWED