I LOVED giving birth! I loved it so much that "love" is pronounced LUUUURVE. I LURVED giving birth! And that's not the epidural talking because I did the last two without that bastard. Once was enough and never again shall a needle meet between the disks in my spine. Amen. I enjoyed everything about labor and delivery. I can't think of a better way to spend an afternoon. I mean, you get a baby at the end! And you get to keep it! When the nurse showed me the pain scale chart that starts with the happy face and ends with a terrible grimace face and asked me where I fell in that range, I was all, "Where are the rainbows and lollipops because that's where I'm at sister!". And she was like, "There is something wrong with you. For serious." I had easy birthing experiences. "Piece of cake" is an accurate description. I'm sorry. You can hate me. My sister in law broke her fucking tail bone during delivery and she still refers to me as "Bitch", so I can take it. What I didn't love, or even like much for that matter, was being pregnant. And it wasn't really because of all the sundry discomforts listed in the picture above [which is admittedly grossly incomplete...can I get a hemorrhoid up in here? Insomnia? Where for art thou crippling sciatic nerve pain?]. I didn't appreciate the changes in my body. I loathed the weight gain. Mostly, I resented the nine month restriction on things I enjoy. It seemed I was pregnant for everything. Bridesmaid in two weddings? Pregnant. Buy bigger dresses. Have them altered. Swollen feet and no drink for you! High school reunion? You look so HUGE! Swollen feet. Tired. No drink. Go home. Vacation with friends? No jacuzzi. Heartburn. Hike to the waterfalls? Go without me. Mai Tai? Screw you. Weekend at the lake jet skiing? I get to watch. Coffee? In moderation. Christmas party. Dance? Are you kidding? Have you seen my girth? I'd wipe out half the floor before passing out from exhaustion. "Tootise, remember when we went to that place and did that stuff with the thing?" "uh-huh" - "Oh that's right. You were pregnant for that weren't you?". "Yes". "It seemed like you were always pregnant!". "Yes, yes it did.". IT JUST SUCKED. And the clothes weren't even cute then. I hate it when my wardrobe selection is curtailed. It makes me cranky.