I Think We Can All Breath a Sigh of Relief That I Didn't Need the Sewing Machine

It was decided that the children's names were to be put on their soccer jerseys. I'm going to spare you the rant because, seriously, I'm sick of me. Anyway, when the boys play softball, the coach takes it upon himself and by that first game the players have their shirts with their names on them. At least that's been the case. Strike that. I'm lying right to you. There was one exception the year that I was team mom and I had the names put on the shirts [Helpful hint: don't trust the spelling of the children's names on the coach's roster and make sure to verify with the parents first because you might end up with an extremely displeased mother on your hands and find yourself intimidated by her calling every establishment in the yellow pages until you find the one clear across town that can remove the letters and fix it without damaging the shirt. Because of course the place that originally put the names on aren't in the business of removing them. Reason #1 that I will never be a team mom again].

Instead of pooling together the six dollars per player to have this professionally done; I can only surmise that someone wanted to see the look on my face when I heard the words "iron" and "on". Two little known facts about me: 1) I'm one of those people who would rather pay someone to do something for me, especially because: 2) Iron, who?

I am not one of those crafty mothers. If a button comes off your shirt I can probably get it back on but I make no guarantee that it will stay for any length of time; like through the end of the day. Or that it will actually line up with the button hole. Details. So not only did I have to A) locate my iron which I'm sure I hadn't seen since the day we moved in here eleven years ago, but B) I had to follow craft directions, get the letters in a straight line, and most importantly C) not melt the shirt.

After dusting the iron [I'm not even kidding please click to enlarge]

I arranged the letters on Girl-Child's soccer jersey and managed to get the job done. So what if there is a slight angle. I never promised it would be done right. I would show you the finished product but I do attempt anonymity when it comes to my children so you're going to have to trust me on this one. And now I know which player is my child because before this I totally couldn't figure it out. Oh, okay, number six IS my daughter. I wasn't sure.



P.S. New post up at Blissful Buzz, check it out! [Note: the last word of my article was "vagina". I'm going to give my poor editor a heart attack with my scandalousness]