Monday, July 14, 2008

Toys R Us: To the Desk of the Person in Charge of Stuff

To Whom It May Concern,

I'm going to skip the niceties and get right to the point. I'd like to bring to your attention some concerns that plagued me while shopping in your establishment this past Saturday afternoon. In fact, I'm going to be so bold as to speak for EVERYONE. Would it be too much to ask that your employees restock the shelves during, what might be considered the off hours, like say anytime other than a busy Saturday afternoon? Trying to navigate the maze of crates, pallets, ladders, and overloaded shopping carts while managing to get a glimpse of an item I might be the least bit interested in buying (you know, SPENDING MONEY ON) will deter a customer from bothering to get a closer look.

Out of curiosity, are teenagers that are disinterested in anything having whatsoever to do with customer service the only people applying for jobs in your stores or is it simply a requirement? What is the interview process? Is there a test that somehow gauges this sort of attribute?

I noticed that you have approximately twenty checkout lanes. Did you conduct market research that measured positive for keeping only ONE of them open on the busiest day of the week? Was there a control group for the study? My follow up question: Did the control group commit suicide? And also: Where are the bodies? Are they still in a line somewhere?

If you don't accept expired coupons would you please train your employees to have the stones to tell the belligerent male customer that? Is it necessary to go through the whole song and dance of calling the manager to the cash register to have a second conversation about it, then have them succumb to the intimidation and try to force the register to accept it, when we all know that it won't? Please keep in mind that there are about fifteen people in the only line open while this takes place. Would "tough shit dude" be too harsh? How about a firm "I'm sorry, it's expired"?

Finally, I don't want to pay extra for the DVD warranty. I don't want any protection plan for this or for that. I don't want to open up a credit card to save fifteen percent. I did find everything I needed [I mean, I think I did. There were a couple of aisles that were totally inaccessible]. No, I don't need a gift receipt and NO you can't have my phone number. There were so many questions I started to search my purse for a scan-tron and a number two pencil and felt compelled to ask if this test would count as part of my grade.

Sincerely,

Tootsie Farklepants

p.s. Enclosed, please find a SASE for a response to the above questions.

45 comments:

Threeundertwo said...

Painfully true, down to the teenagers with bad attitude and single checkout line.

Now they not only don't have prices on anything, I can't even find their handy-dandy price scanners any more. It's like a guessing game - how much might this cost?

Let us know if you get a letter back. . .

Karen said...

Which is why I refuse to shop on Saturdays anywhere if I can. I only have to deal with the geriatric crowd on Social Security day through the week. But they're kind and sweet, if not slow.

Maria said...

I just found your blog and it's a treat! Toys r us follows the SAME format up here in Canada! So, it's a global problem really ;-)

HRH said...

I stand in those long lines muttering..."why won't they take my money?"

BECAUSE REALLY! I HAVE MONEY I WANT TO GIVE THEM AND THEY MAKE IT SO DIFFICULT!

I love the control group suicide party.

Kristi said...

I admit it, I have a girl crush right now.

Greta/Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat? said...

Aaaaah...and this why I now shop online. ;)

Treasia said...

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Allie said...

Werd! I hate teenagers with bad attitudes and the ones in line for an iPhone who can't stop kissing for more than 5 minutes (we were in line for 4.5 hours and they kissed at least 472 times).

Stu said...

I would still rather spend time in your Toys-R-Us than any Walmart. I feel like I am on one of lower levels of hell when I am in there.

-Stu

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

It is refreshing to know that Toys R Us must adhere to its corporate policies for idiocracy across the country.


KEEP BELIEVING

Marcy - The Glamorous Life! said...

Amen sistah. amen.....

A Mom Two Boys said...

Toys R'Us will ONLY be visited at 10am on Wednesday morning. All other times it is OFF LIMITS.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Please copy this memo and send it to every grocery store, clothing store, and big box store in my tri-state area. Do all stores have the same parent company and the same corporate policies?

Manager Mom said...

This is why we need to go back to the idyllic old days of having children play with rusty cans and barbed wire, or whatever they used in pioneer days.

Stephanie said...

You know, I do not enjoy going to this store because in the past few years I have found it to be a depressing place for a kid's store! It's drabby and dreary with no colors! The waiting area in my dentist office is more cheerful!!!! Not sure how it is where you live but I have gone between 2 stores and both are like this. It seems the ambience is not all that needs re-vamping!!!

Marmarbug said...

We have the same deal at our Toys R Us. AND everytime I go in there there is usually a group of teens hidden in the back just chatting away. God forbid they actually work!!!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

HATE that store and had to go there Friday for Mr. G's birthday gift. I am totally ordering all of my light sabers and plastic dinosaurs online from now on.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

The same people that run Michael's must run Toys r Us.

Swirl Girl said...

ditto on that one!

Val said...

So true! Big Daddy is currently banned from our local toys r us! Apparently they didn't take kindly to being told these exact same things in person....and maybe a few expletives thrown in for good measure!

scargosun said...

Yeah. Just remember us poor slobs in retail HAVE to ask you that stuff or we get in trouble.

Why do stores unpack stuff like that during the day? They do it in grocery stores too. Drives me crazy.

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

Customer service no longer exists. Which is why I love my grocery store. I'm willing to spend 25 cents more per item just to be greeted by name, helped to my car with my stuff, and just overall feelgoodness.

MamaMo said...

Please cc this to every super-big national retail chain in the country. UUUGGHHHH!!

Insta-mom said...

My favorite is when there are four or five people maneuvering their carts around one another because there is NO ONE at the checkout. Then it's like mommy-NASCAR when one finally does open.

Baby Favorite said...

I'll pay you to send that to them.

Miss Jamie said...

Maybe I can help a little.

A few years ago, I unfortunately worked at the TRU in my hometown for a summer as an AM Stocker, which meant we began at 7am and worked until 11am. The store opens at 10am. We would have ENORMOUS piles of boxes that we were instructed to sort, price, and put away before the daily morning meeting at 9:50am, where we would watch (literally) at least 30 people line up outside the door EVERY. DAY.

For that last hour, we were instructed to leave out at least one pallet with "an hour's worth" (whatever that means) of items to put away while we also helped customers. It was retarded and I still don't understand it.

Also, I was at least a friendly teenager... but I had no idea where anything was, so I would just direct people to the general store quadrant where their inquiry might be, and hope they ran into another associate on the way. Yeah. I was that chick.

Don Mills Diva said...

OMG - this is funny because it is true. The Toys R Us near us has the most pierced, tattooed and completely ambivalent staff I have ever seen...

Jennifer H said...

Seriously. I hate going to Toys R Us, and I've already heard two requests for it today. We're not going. Maybe next year.

EatPlayLove said...

I think that's one reason why I buy toys at Target, if Target doesn't have it, oh well!

I love the 20 check outs with one open, that's just a plague that has invaded every damn store these days.

Loralee Choate said...

Came via Twitter. AMEN!

And you have the best header on the planet. Just so you know.

AGSoccerMom said...

Which is why I hate shopping.....
yep it's true, I have to shop late at night or in the morning, you won't find any teen agers awake that early and if it's at night they got better things to do than shop.

Crash Test Mommy said...

You should sell copyright permissions on this letter. Your customers could fill in the blank with their asshat store of choice.

You'd be a millionaire.

Moms In The Right said...

Wait, you just described my Saturday 2 weeks ago. We have the exact same Toys R Us. Or maybe it's a just a horrible epidemic of bad customer service.

Good Post!

Madge said...

a couple of years ago our toysrus closed. i was actually happy about it.

jenontheedge said...

Testify!

Insane Mama said...

see, that is WHY I do not shop on Saturday. I am VERY firm in this opinion

Sue said...

This must be a large store phenomenon because my grocery store does this too. What are the midnight hours for?

OHmommy said...

LOL.

Sweet Tootsie.

I shop online comfy while barefoot in my wife beater tank. I avoid people. Actually, I am a man that like to wear stilettos.

Shhh... don't tell anyone. It would blow my cover. That wouldn't be classy.

Nap Warden said...

You just explained why I try to do all my shopping online!

Nicole said...

LOL, I remember when Wal-Mart firt opened (wow - I feel old...) and I remember shortly after that, Toys'r'us opened. My mom basically did everything in her power to keep me from noticing, but I remember that exact moment when I saw it and my face lit up brighter than it had ever lit up before. Needless to say, the appeal has diminished ever since. ;p

MadWoman said...

Ahhh precisely why I try to avoid stores on a Saturday...at all costs. The teenagers make me so mad I want to plant a boot in their ass and the lack of checkouts brings me perilously close to turning into a shoplifter purely so I don't have to stand there for 20 minutes and listen to the idiotic drivel of other people around me.

Good letter!

Colleen said...

Must be a corporate issue...have the same problem at our TRU and at BRU. Half the time at TRU the only line open is the one hidden in the game area, so we're all roaming around with carts full of junk and kids hollaring because they didn't get another.dang.toy. If they didn't have such good prices/coupons on diapers, I'd boycott them entirely. Bastards.

The Girl Next Door said...

thanks for reminding me why I am glad I no longer shop there - this is the proverbial "hit the nail on the head" post, as always!!!!

the bodies in line from the suicide control group? Killer.

Our Complete Family said...

I just found your blog and it is such a fun read! Thanks for making me smile today! :)

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