Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Before You Know it It'll be Condoms

Boy-Child#1 comes to me the other day and says to me in kind of a hushed voice, "Mom, I was playing basketball outside and, well, um, and my pits..."

Me: Your pits? What about em?
Boy-Child#1: Well, they're kinda, you know, sweaty.
Me: Oh. ..... Oooohhhhh.

He is at that age where it's time to start paying more attention to personal hygiene. He's also at that age where I make him take a shower daily. And he's at that age where I sometimes have to make him wash his hair all over again. It's called "eleven". It's also - and you won't believe this when I tell you - the age that he would drop dead on the very spot he is standing if he knew I was talking about his armpits with all of you. But I'm at the age where I'm all, "Eh. Get over it. They're armpits for Chrissake", it's not like his testicles are the topic yet. So I added "deodorant" to my shopping list and the baby Jesus was all, "Let's make this an extra special day for this lady" and sent a memo to retailers that the deodorant of choice is buy two get one free. And since it's the same one that Mr. Farklepants uses, he gets one too; and now it's become like a contest in my head only to see who will win the coveted EXTRA stick! That stick that is currently hanging out under the bathroom sink all kind of like an orphan; not really belonging and wants to find himself except it can't afford to backpack through Europe.

Now I'm feeling all nostalgic about my first deodorant, which is admittedly, and odd thing to have a sense nostalgia for.



It was Tickle! And it was a roll on. And, this part I remember vividly, it was very wet. The scent was strong and I would try to counter it with my Loves Baby Soft.


Allow me to transcribe the fine print in the ad for you: "Love's Baby Soft is that irresistible, clean-baby smell, grown-up enough to be sexy. It's soft smelling. Pure and innocent. It may well be the sexiest fragrance around." I started wearing this in 1981. I was in fifth grade. I was ten. And reading the marketing campaign for this product now, as an adult and grown-up enough to be sexy, freaks me right the feck out. This must have been the gateway scent that turned me into a hoo-er.

52 comments:

1blueshi1 said...

they just don't make ads the way they used to, right? let's open a bottle of Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific and take a whiff of nostalgia while we're waltzing Matilda down memory lane!

hulagirlatheart said...

Ha! I was a Tickle and Loves Baby Soft user too in 1981, only I was a junior in high school. I wanted to be all soft and sexy back then, but no amount of Loves could morph scrawny and gawky.

calicobebop said...

Too funny! I used to wear "Heaven Scent" because it was the only thing my dad didn't object to - since it basically smelled like soap.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Ack! He CAN'T be old enough to need deodorant. What will be next? Old enough to shave? Drive? Graduate? NO! Stop the madness and make these kids stop growing up.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Who doesn't remember Love's Baby Soft. The girls of today cannot be hoodwinked by drugstore products--they want the good stuff like mom wears.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Tickle! I had forgotten!

Marmarbug said...

I used Teen Spirit. NOT to be confused with Nirvanas hit" Smells like Teen Spirit". I thought it was so awesome to wear deodorant, shave, and even have my period. What can I say? That newness wore off FAST!!!

g said...

I remember how oddly important it seemed, at the beginning of the school year, to choose the right deodorant to keep in my gym locker - it had to be the Right Brand, or you'd look like a dork.

And isn't it a bittersweet moment, that first time you get a whiff of your darling baby's BO? He's growing up!!

g said...

Oooh. I just remembered. Jean Nate !

Jason said...

"So I added "deodorant" to my shopping list and the baby Jesus was all, "Let's make this an extra special day for this lady" and sent a memo to retailers that the deodorant of choice is buy two get one free."

That baby Jesus is so darn nice.

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

Your post titles slay me because they are TOTALLY not where I think you will be going. Although, I should by now - realize that you are going someplace other than where I think you are going, that is.

moving on...

Is it wrong that I gave my 5 year old a cheap deodorant I had bought for my husband that he never uses because my 5 year old was all, "cool, can I try that?" everytime I used mine and I didn't want him smelling like chai breeze or whatever I smell like that day? So, he is TOTALLY covered on the smelly, sweaty pits thing already. My first awkward encounter will probably come in the form of wet sheets in about 7 or 8 years.

KEEP BELIEVING

Mrs. Parks said...

AAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Shhah, lke it was YESTERDAY.
I don't think I would have ever thought of Tickle again in my whole life had you not written this post!

jenontheedge said...

Ah yes, Love's Baby Soft. Such fond memories.

If it makes you feel any better, my almost 10 y.o. girl is now wearing deo. More of a preventative thing than anything else. And actually, it's her 8 y.o. sister who should be wearing it.

smalltownmom said...

My 12-year old doesn't have stinky pits yet, but it'll happen soon.

When my older son first used an anti-perspirant, his pits broke out in a rash. He's been using some natural stuff ever since.

Angela Williams Duea said...

Ahhh...I loved Love's Baby Soft. I also remember using my babysitting money to buy "Body on Tap" shampoo and conditioner because my mom always bought the cheapest stuff. I thought it was especially cool to use shampoo that actually had BEER in it!

No, I did not drink any.

angelawd

Angela Williams Duea said...

By the way, why did all those bottles look so phallic back then?

angelawd

Allie said...

Oh man your first baby is all grows up (almost). I don't remember the first time I wore deodorant, but I do remember the first time I shaved my legs. I was so excited about it beforehand and now it's kinda lame. Speaking of shaving my legs I should probably do that tonight.

Undomestic Diva said...

Oh yes, we used Baby Love too. And since it wasn't much of a deoderant, really we just masked the scent of b.o. with a really strong (and boy did it sting on freshly shaven armpits!) baby powder smell.

Kinda the way a public bathroom masks the smell of explosive diarrhea with worse smelling "neutralizing" spray. It's so strong that you feel like you're going to walk out of there smelling like shit & roses.

Jack said...

I used to tease my sister about that stuff.

Ann said...

As I got part way into this, I was all "OMG, will she remember LOVES??" and SHE DID! Loved the LOVES!

Okay - and to piggyback on what Angela said - holy f - all of these are shaped liked dildos, how creepy is that?

Don Mills Diva said...

I can't believe I had forgotten about Love's Baby Soft!? Now I want to go out and buy some Bonnie Bell lip gloss!

Caution said...

I remember those wet deodorants that took years to dry. I NEVER allowed enough drying time either. What a mess that was.

KathyR said...

The pink Tickle ruined by favorite light blue dress.

And I shaved with a Flicker. Which I've been meaning to post about, but never get around to it.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

I almost burst the button on my Dittos laughing while remembering Tickle.

Buford Betty said...

Oh I totally remember the Love's babysoft... SO funny!!! And I remember when my mom "hinted" that I might want to start wearing deoderant. Can't remember how old I was, but I was pretty young.

scargosun said...

I begged my Mom to buy me Tickle b/c it looked cooler than the other crap. Nope, not for me. I am sure I used like ban or something.

Anna Marie said...

dude. Tickle was TOTALLY my first deodorant too. The packaging was irresistable! It was so pretty and feminine and grown-up!

MommyTime said...

This post makes me pee my pants a little for two reasons: (1) that there was actually a successful deodorant marketing campaign designed by the famous ad firm of Paradox Much? that relied on being "grown-up enough" to smell like a baby and "innocent" enough to be sexy; and (2) that until now I had forgotten that MY first deodorant was TUSSY which (a) was a cream deodorant that came in a little pot, and you had to scoop some out and spread it around, and eeewwww! whose idea was THAT and (b) was named TUSSY?!?! WTFeck?

And now that I have written a comment that would be better served appearing in outline form, I will stop. But, seriously, do go look at this ad for ridiculous Tussy deodorant-in-a-tub, which you can still buy for $1 at Walgreen's apparently, if you think I'm making this up.

merlotmom said...

Oooh, that Loves and Tickle were around for a long time because I am ten years older and I clearly remember wearing Loves, shaving with a Flicker, and trying Tickle (but the damn deoderant was so sticky and strong). I couldn't stand smelling myself all day at school and wondering if everyone else smelled me, too. You just made me remember how much I NEEDED all these products when they came out - now I totally GET my daughter and her fascination with colored hair extensions and the right lip gloss. Thanks for the trip down pubescent lane. I'm sure my daughter and I will get along much better now. Maybe after camp, I'll take her to the local CVS and we can steal makeup together.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Oh my! Tickle! I totally forgot about that! And Love's, that was, er, some unsavory advertising...

Armpits. Heh. Wait until there's the growth of fuzz on his upper lip! Is "Stache" a forbidden word, too?

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

Oh, my! I remember the Love's - sorta. It's hazy before about 84, but oh, my! That's kinda funny. And, I was blushing over your title.

Manager Mom said...

Ha! I remember Secret. And it STILL looks like a vibrator.

laughingatchaos said...

I love Love's! I had it, everyone had it! Wish I could find it today...of course, it would help if I actually looked for it, but that takes effort. ;)
And I'm only four short years from sweaty smelly boy pits. He already has the stinky feet down.

Karen said...

Our boy begged for deodorant a few years back. He goes through a tube in like 1 month. WTH? I think he's using it to deodorize the carpet and freshen the dogs.

barbra said...

I remember Tickle! It was DISGUSTINGLY wet. Hmmm, it felt kinda weird to type that.

Your Pal Pinki said...

Tickle really tickled. I remember I couldn't put it on without giggling. When I first started using it, my mom had to help me out. We'd crack up laughing together over the silly deodorant. What a bonding experience. LOL

Mr. Farklepants said...

How did we go from "let's all line up and describe our underwear" to "Let me tell you about the first time I smelled my own BO?"

Melissa said...

LOL! You hoo-er you!!

Jennifer H said...

Well, can you prove that wasn't when it happened?

Ah well, hoo-ers have more fun anyway. I mean, that's what I've, uh, heard.

Bonnie the Boss said...

I remember both of those things. I know my age is showing.
Remember standing around flapping your arms like some possesed bird to get it to dry. Good times.

MamaGeek said...

Ah yes. Love's Baby Soft. I don't think the crap actually worked, but it looked SO COOL.

Boys and their pits. What's up with that?

Sue said...

I was so sad when I had to use deoderant because the "cool" brands made me break out so I had to use Tussy which was more plain.

Did you also wear Anais Anais?

Sue @ My Party of 6 said...

Ahhh... so funny! My oldest just started wearing deodorant this spring when I got a whiff of his pits. (Well, let's say, I *bought* him deodorant... I guess I should check to see if he's actually using it.)

I had Loves Baby Soft (ahh, never forget that soapy smell) but my mom made me use this Avon "splash on" deodorant crap... you had to get a handful and throw it at your pit. Ick. Although the cream stuff in the pot sounds worse, so I will shut up now!

The Girl Next Door said...

OMG Loves Baby Soft! Does anyone remember "Loves rain Scent"? It was just a little bit "more" and oh so hard to find. My BFF and I coveted that stuff. Sigh.

HRH said...

I wore that crap too. We must have all stunk together!

This was really funny. I am glad that Jesus is overseeing your deoderant purchases. You are in good hands.

Insane Mama said...

Tickle! I loved it! that and Gee your Hair Smells Fantastic! and of course loves

Eve Grey said...

Oh Love's baby Soft, how I loved you. Maybe even more than my Exclamation perfume and Final Net hairspray.
And hoo-er, that's how we pronounced it where I grew up in the Ottawa Valley where we also pritnear said everythin' different ya know?

stephanie (bad mom) said...

I loved Tickle and Love's Baby Soft but let me tell you about my young geek drama - I couldn't get it through my head that the company was calling itself "Love" and so was using the apostrophe to describe "Baby Soft" as its [possessive] scent. So I obsessed to my poor mother about the wrongness of that apostrophe.

Yet she still bought me the damn perfume and Normandy Rose jeans. Good mom.

VDog said...

I loved those baby soft commercials!

Mrs. G. said...

I still miss the wide ball of Tickle. Add a bottle of Agree shampoo and Noxema and you have the contents of my little section of the bathroom closet.

Domestic Chicky said...

Oh, I loved Tickle...and love's baby soft, and "Babe" perfume, and Agree shampoo...I think you can still find "body on tap" and "gee, your hair smells terrific" at the Vermont Country store - they have all kinds of crazy retro stuff.

I can still smell the pinkness of it all...

Colleen said...

Secret roll-on, Prell shampoo, and Love's Baby Soft...circa 1989...