Sunday, January 20, 2008

Downgraded To Two Cans And A String

So, Mr. Farklepants finally broke down and got himself a Crackberry. In his defense, he's one of those people whose job kind of necessitates such a purchase. The problem, however, is that the service provider is not the one we're currently using which means...I have to get a new phone. Before you start shouting your 'way to go's' and 'whoo-hoo's'; just hold on. I do not like change. I am not a 'change embracer', if you will. I've grown attached to the things that I've mastered and fear learning new technology. As a 'for instance' I fought tooth and nail at this newfangled 'online bill paying system'. Why would I part with handwriting checks and mailing them in late because I keep forgetting to buy stamps? Who would do that? Once I finally took the plunge into the "things that are more convenient" pool; I don't know how I ever lived without it and I can't remember the last time I wrote a check. My experience with my soon to be former Razor cell phone was similar. It takes pictures? Why would I want to do that? It's a phone. I just want to call people and visa versa. What do you mean "ring tone"? What's a "ring tone"? Oh. I guess I just want it sound like a phone that rings. I don't need it to tell me or anyone else that you wish your girlfriend was hot like me. Or that I'm Fergalicious. I'm also? Not sixteen. So just make my damn phone sound like a ringing phone. Thanks.

After researching options and checking past bills for our minute usage; it was discovered that I use, on average, 8 minutes per month. Yep. I may look and live the life that is the epitome of a "soccer mom", but I am not doing it with a cell phone attached to my SUV driving ear. - And the world breaths a collective sigh of relief - So I meet Mr. Farklepants at the new cell phone store to see all of the inventory that...I can't have. Why? Because he's already determined that the most cost efficient plan for us is the prepaid phone, considering my complete lack of usage. Which is like dragging me down to the Mercedes dealership and pointing to the used Pinto and saying "Here's the keys!". And really. This isn't a bad analogy either because buying a new cell phone is much like buying a car. There's wheeling and dealing. Discussing options. Packages. You're there for HOURS. Talking to their manager. Storming out and head exploding. Okay. Maybe no to the storming out but yes to the head exploding. By the end of the day I will be trying to navigate the features of my new Ford Pinto:

It doesn't take pictures but I'm cool with that because IT'S A PHONE! Call me at 1-NOT-MYR-EAL#. We'll tawk.

11 comments:

HRH said...

Do the comments "at least its red", "it will fit in your pocket" or "you won't have to learn to use any of those pesky extra features" help at all?

1blueshi1 said...

heh, my mom bought me a prepaid cell while I was at her house for Tgiving b/c she didn't want me driving back without one in case the car broke down. the phone in the package didn't have a back, so after spending over an hour on the phone with "customer service" on another continent getting the defective one activated and operative, they agreed to send another phone as well.
Another phone that is still in the package, on top of my stereo speaker, in the kitchen.
Because I, too, have to have a cell phone glued to my ear at all times. Like in the bathroom. at my job they actually have to POST SIGNS--not just on the door, BUT IN EACH SEPARATE STALL--not to use your cell phone.
WTF is happening to people in our society?

JCK said...

That is impressive usage. 8 minutes. Wow! And I HATE going in and doing the wheeling and dealing thing with the cell phone provider. You are SO right on with that!

JCK said...

I forgot to say...love the new header photo!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Thanks! I'm playing around. It could change.

Karen said...

I love the new look of the blog! And I totally hear you on the technology thing. I just got my first phone a few months ago and still have yet to learn how to use it. I still do stupid things like accidentally put it on speaker mid conversation, and it annoys me, and I can't figure out how to make it stop. ARGH! Give me the tried and true every time. Change is evil, change is bad.

Nora Bee said...

We are having noises of impending technological change over here, too. If it's any consolation, I've heard that in Europe EVERYONE uses prepaid. You are so "continental"!

Madame Queen said...

My mom got one of those prepaid phones and while you're waiting for the person that you called to pick up, it says "Please enjoy this music while you wait" and proceeds to launch into some very urban rap music. Hope you didn't get that one!

I have a theory about constant cell phone usage -- remind me to tell you sometime.

ekb said...

Hey! That looks EXACTLY like my phone! I like mine. It's red.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Madame Queen~ Do tell!!

Nora Bee~ Qui!

ekb~ I don't actually have it yet but Mr. Farklepants is literally on his way out the door to get it now. But that's good to know!

MJ said...

Nice phone! I think my cell is used less than 5 minutes / month, consisting mostly of my dh phoning while grocery shopping to inquire precisely what I meant by the item on the grocery list! I'm joining you on the "let's not change technology" line!

(PS: via Saucy's blog: we don't want Celine back. You got her, you keep her!)