Open Letter To A Certain Someone Who Lives In My House

Dear Light of My Life,

When important papers pertaining to your vehicle arrive in the mail, and I briefly explain to you that said documents either need to be applied to and/or stored in aforementioned vehicle; I understand that all you hear is...white noise. I also expect that you'll do these things, never. And I've so been there done that with peeling the registration sticker off of paper and applying it to the license plate. It can be a real bitch what with all of that lifting and sticking. It's all very preschool and so beneath you us. I'm also equally aware of how taxing it can be to open one's wallet and insert a proof of insurance card. I'm sympathetic to this burden that resulted in your ticket for failure to prove you do, in fact, carry car insurance. What was UNexpected, however, was the bill from the court because you were equally put out to settle the matter in any timely fashion whatsoever. A bill that is equal to, not only a new sofa, but an impromptu ticket to France BITTER MUCH?. A waste of money so great, I can only illustrate its wastefulness by mentioning that we might have purchased the sofa and plane ticket, brought them home, placed them in the driveway just so, and set them both on fire. You've left me no choice but to nag you incessantly until this matter is resolved. I thank you in advance for your lack of patience and complete misunderstanding understanding.

Not So Cordially Yours,

Mrs. Farklepants