Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Effing Wind In My Willows And Other Unspeakable Places

You'll all be relieved to know that it stopped raining here a couple of days ago. Although, my backyard would still be considered a swamp by any hydrologist worth their salt. And the dog is still tracking more mud across my already muddy kitchen floor. Yesterday's forecast had a high of 55 degrees in my area. Which is a bit on the cold side for my taste but at least it was dry. The barometer was at 30.12 and falling; which is good(?) or bad(?). No matter. It has something to do with pressure this much I know. Humidity did check in at 33% but according to my calculations - and by that, I mean, my dry skin - I estimate it somewhere in the range of 8% and 8%. The dewpoint was at 26" which would probably please me greatly if only I knew what a dewpoint actually was. However, the wind is coming in from the north at an estimated 23mph. This is a bold faced lie. It may be coming in at that speed but it is bringing with it some wind, with more wind on top of that, mixed with a smattering of wind, and followed by wind. One more interesting factoid about me to store in the 'useless shit I'll never need to remember' file of your brain: I hate wind even more than rain. Yes! That's right. I just said that out loud. You did not misunderstand me. I hate wind. Because? Wind cannot be shielded. There is no such thing as a wind thwarting device that I'm aware of. For rain there is a plethora of rain protective apparatuses designed specifically for keeping the wet off of you as efficiently as possible. Such gear includes but is not limited too: umbrellas, hats, rain coats, slickers, boots, rubbers, galoshes, [in desperation] garbage bags, and the most effective devise: indoors. The only thing you can buy to protect yourself from wind is a house. Fortunately, I have one of those and I don't plan to leave it unless I can get from point A to point B without leaving my car*.

*Also considered handy for keeping wind off of one's person.

17 comments:

seachange said...

A link for you. :-)

http://www.hudsontrail.com/subcat/2/306/

Tootsie Farklepants said...

HA!! That's just ONE of the things I love about you, Sea. You're always lookin' out for me.

HRH said...

I agree about the wind. And don't have a clue about the dew pt.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

There were a few sentences there where I was all, "how does she know that?" Then I realized I wasn't the only one that wonders why the hell the weather guy rattles off all that meaningless crap. If I understood dew points, would I be where I am today?

Oh, and while I had no sympathy over the rain, I do feel you on the wind, for exactly the reason you stated. There is quite simply no way to avoid it.

Fannie Mae said...

I live in the land of OZ. ZERO sympathy from me!

Bunny Bunster said...

You wuss! We had 70 mile and hour winds the other night.

Love your blog!!

(My work verification is: pwfucwk ha ha!!)

Melissa said...

lol! I so know what your talking about. We practically had tornado winds the past few days and I'm so ready for them to be gone. I mean really, it's December for goodness sake, do I really need to be listening for the tornado sirens?

Super B's Mom said...

I found you by way of Bossy. With a name like Farklepants, I couldn't resist.

VERY cute blog!!

jennyonthespot said...

ooh - you funny... I like!

Mrs. G. said...

I'm not even going to mock you as I can see it has been taken care of by others.

Washington State Resident

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Warm welcome to the new folks!! Can I get you a drink? Please, make yourself at home.

And Tootsie appreciates Mrs. G's restraint.

jennifer h said...

The wind. messes up. my hair. I'm so with you on this one.

I don't understand the barometer or the dew points either. In any metro area, there must be anywhere from 3 to 5 people who hear the weather report and know what that means. Maybe.

Don Mills Diva said...

I'm a pilot so I understand all that dewpoint/ barometer stuff. But I do not like wind. No sir, I do not.

Chester The Bear said...

I think you're spot on re the wind thing... the problem with wind isn't the win, per se, but the other more experienced been-around-the-block-and-blown-over-a-few-trees wind that it brings with it.

Ya... About That said...

Toots - you might want to get that gal Melissa two drinks (shhhh: she thinks it's still December - do you think we ought to wake her?) Nah. Just get her another stiffy.

Karen said...

I love you, Tootsie. You make me realize that I have so much to complain about.

JCK said...

Wind or no, the nominations look good on you!