I Never Took No Ribbons In Math

Yesterday was my scheduled day to volunteer in Boy-Child#2's second grade class. I was extremely grateful that his teacher only needed me to grade papers because it was raining and I don't like to get wet. If I had to retrieve and prepare any construction paper, I would have to leave the classroom to go to the "work room" which is located in the main building; where they keep the reams of paper, their cutlery, molds, yarn, ...you get the idea. The point is I didn't have to leave the classroom. Amen to that. Out of the stacks of grade-worthy piles was one that contained timed math tests. These are individually assigned to each student depending on his or her mastery. Some kids are working on subtraction and addition while others have moved on to their times tables and...one smart little cuss...calculus division. In other words, it is a stack of math papers and almost none of them are the same content. I ask Mrs. Second Grade, "Do you have the answer keys for these?". "I believe I left them at home". She takes note of the panicked look that crosses my face. "But I have a calculator!" -and she probably thought, "oh great, a genius". She bitch slaps me across the face with it and then she and the class leave for computer lab. The "calculator" is located on the end of a ruler and would work great if you were an insect. With fingers. And opposable thumbs. It was that small. Imagine, if you will, a grown woman. In a classroom. Sitting in a chair designed for an eight year old. Counting on her fingers. And for 11x12, attempting to accurately navigate the world's smallest calculator with the tip of her fingernail. Giving up because she remembered that 12x12=144, so she subtracted. She really wishes she had paid attention while quizzing her own son with his flashcards. She is so glad no one is in the class with her. It also took her 30 minutes to grade 25 math papers. It took all of 10 minutes to grade the other various piles of the non-math variety. She is so embarrassed. *sometimes I pretend I don't know me when I'm being a giant 'tard*