Monday, May 19, 2008

A Giveaway! C'mon, it's Chocolate. You Know You Want it

We get gift cards, as gifts from others, a lot. So much so, that we have an entire drawer dedicated to gift cards for restaurants, theaters, retail stores, and more. Giving a gift card is about the laziest gesture a person can make. I understand that everyone has got those one or two people in their life Mr. Farklepants that are impossible to buy for my dad, but overwhelmingly, and let's be honest, the reason for giving a gift card is because either a) you waited until the last minute, b) it's easier to ship, or c) you procrastinated about trying to figure out a gift. I include myself in this group because I have done it countless times. But you have got to be some kind of lazy to give a gift card to a child under seven years old. You couldn't find an easier demographic to shop for. This age group is the easiest to please. You screw up when you try to go big with the gift; to give THE gift. This is not the group to do that with. They don't care about grand sweeping gestures. The younger kids are happy with a package of Hot Wheels cars or Pokemon cards. And give a five year old or younger some sidewalk chalk or even better, BUBBLES! Ohmyeffinggod! BUBBLES! You know it's true too! Bubbles will make a child lose their mind! To a child it's like their reason to live found its way through that wand. A child that young does not need a $50 gift card from Toy's R Us.

So, while we're on the subject of gift cards: a few months ago my niece was participating in a fundraiser for her college cross country team and I bought two gift certificates each for a one pound box of See's Candy.


(see how easily it turns a cheesy brass platter into supreme fanciness?)

I don't know if you've ever had See's Candy because it is primarily a West Coast thing and I think their stores go only as far east as Colorado but believe me when I tell you it's the best candy ever to be made in the history of forever. It is fucking delicious. And I'm giving one of these gift certificates for a one pound box of See's Candy away to one of you! It can also be used on their website for those of you who live in an inferior city** and aren't near a store.

The rules:

  1. Leave a comment on this post by Thursday, May 22nd at 11:59pm (pst)
  2. You can leave as many comments as you want but your name will only count once
  3. I will write each name on a slip of paper
  4. I will put those names into a bowl or hat or some kind of holding device
  5. Mr. Farklepants will draw the name and that person will win
  6. I will announce the winner on Friday, May 23rd and that person will email their address to me and prepare to have their mind blown.
  7. I will send them the gift card for the super delicious candy.
  8. And that person will have an orgasm (this could be you!!)
  9. Best contest ever
GOOD LUCK!!!

**I'm totally joking about the "inferior city". Please consider this when composing your comment and/or your hate mail

106 comments:

Jennifer H said...

A huge Amen on the gifts for kids under 7. And now I feel guilty for not buying Girl the bubbles she wanted at the store today.

This is the best contest ever. #8 kinda made sure of that.

dorothy said...

YAY! I want See's Candy. Count me in, baby.

Mrs. G. said...

You KNOW I want that chocolate. It's a core part of my Weight Watcher's program. All protein, baby.

Shania said...

Dang. I had my hateful screed all composed and everything, then you go and put in a caveat. And please don't enter me for the chocolate because, on the off chance I would win it? Then I would eat it. Eventually my arms won't reach the keyboard. Surely you don't want to contribute to that?

Karen said...

See's Candy!!! I discovered it while driving through your great state and have since pushed it to the back of my mind. Because our inferior state doesn't have any!!! Thanks for bringing that memory back up - if I don't win the freakin' gift card you're gonna die for the torture you've inflicted upon me.

Don't think I'm kidding either.

Madame Queen said...

GAH! Away from me you devil woman, with your tempting chocolates!!

I'm commenting just so you know I'm reading, but please, oh please don't include me in the contest!

Wendy B said...

I just found your blog and it has quickly become one of my favorite daily stops! Your blog roll is awesome as well. I adore See's candy, so please pick me!!

Greta said...

Well, I mostly agree with you about the gift card thing. That said, as a mom, I tend to appreciate when my kids (7 & 5) get them. Why? Because it's one less plastic toy that they can break or leave laying on the floor.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Totally with you on the gift card thing.

And while I personally would not eat the See's candy (being good and all as I am), my in-laws, who will be here from Minnesota would truly love it. Which is to say, I'm in!

Daalelli said...

um.. I just thought of a question I kinda need answering... oh wait no I don't I just totally wanted any excuse to leave a comment to get some of that oh so yummy See's chocolate. mmmmmm *drools*

OHmommy said...

Yummy!

Can't say no to chocolate. ;)

standing still said...

Okay, see, I only take issue with one thing. The giftcard to Caribou Coffee? This is not only the best gift someone can give me, it is the most thoughtful and the one that shows the person knows me the BEST. Because, Caribou is my friend. A dear, dear, daily dose of loving, hot and wet and even tho' caffeine free, best darned cup of joe this side of the Mississippi.

And, See's. Yes, ma'am. I'd lather up with that gift card, you bet.

Just My Type said...

Here I am!

Anonymous said...

This is what I get for reading a "Mom Blog"...the torture of knowing that here in Virginia I can't get See's Candy. Me,with good (not Florida) CALIFORNIA oranges, avocado, and See's Candy, I can be very happy.
Put my name in NOW! This Californian lost in Virginia NEEDS some SEE'S CANDY.
-Picokid

Rebecca said...

Mmmm I do love chocolate! We have a See's kiosk thingie at the mall around Christmas time, but only then. It is GOOD stuff!

Colleen said...

Picokid says "Virginia" like it's some kind of cuss word...wonder if they're stuck someplace like Grundy, VA. Northern VA isn't too bad!
Oh, and I've had See's candy and it's pretty tasty, although I'm a big fan of the Fannie Mae (Chicago chocolate staple), but See's is an excellent second place. ;)

TwentyFourAtHeart said...

See's yum!! I'm related to the original Sees family, but they got bought out by the corporate world long ago. But it's in my blood!! That's what my excuse is! Yes, See's runs thru my blood and I MUST eat their chocolate!! :)

Christi said...

Dave gives me gift cards to Victoria Secrets. I think he's hoping I'll come home with something resembling our dating days...

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

See that's very shocking. You're that close to Ghirardelli people & you like Sees? Hmm.

Allie said...

I love See's Candy. I love chocolate. What could be better? Count me in.

MamaMo said...

Count me in!! What out here in NC we don't have See's, but my mother-in-law lives in Eugene, OR so I could totally rock the gift certificate when I'm visiting.

MamaMo said...

OOPS!! that's "way" not "what" - that's what I get for trying to comment before breakfast. :-)

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Don't give it to mrs. g - she hasn't reached her goal weight yet. Let me rescue her from temptation by eating the chocolates myself.

Jan said...

*raising hand*

I am putting my bid in for chocolate I've never heard of. Irrelevant - it is chocolate, one of the four basic food groups along with coffee, cheesecake and a really good shiraz.

And yes, the town I presently reside in is completely chocolate inferior.

Treasia said...

Should I be all embarrassed I sent my five year old grandson a gift card for his birthday? I think not.

Never heard of this candy but count me in.

smalltownmom said...

Don't put me in the contest, because I live in CA and can buy all the See's I want. But those poor, poor people who have never experienced it. Especially the chocolate buttercreams and the bordeaux. My best friend lives in Germany but does she like the fine German and Swiss chocolate available there? No, she holds out for See's!

slouching mom said...

i'm SO in.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Thank ye gods the Burgh has See's and you can't say we suck.

Bring on the chocolate, lady, and no one will get hurt.

Beckie said...

Does it help that I live on the east coast and have never had the orgasmic joy of See's Candy??? If it does - pick me pick me! If not, darn! Either way - love the site and also - I thought of you at Target yesterday - they gave me the same song and dance about returns without receipts...

Kathy M said...

I hope to win so my husband and I stop attacking the See's candies' poorer cousin, the Baker's chocolate chip.

carmen said...

Ummmm. Yes, I do live in an inferior city. But the very generous West Coast relatives do occasionally spoil us!

Minnesota Matron said...

Orgasm possibly with the picture alone. Trust me.

Adrienne said...

Heck, I live 5 miles from the original See's store, count me IN! Their lollipops of butterscotch, caramel or chocolate are the bestest.

And yes bubbles are ageless. My teenager was playing with the grandbaby with bubbles and I couldn't tell who was having more fun.

caution said...

We do live in an inferior city, so take pity on me!

I love to give gift cards - saves wrapping paper.

Melissa said...

Pick me! Chocolate makes me so happy. Bubbles do, too, but chocolate more so.

Tempered Woman said...

no chocolate por favor (I totally just pronounced that with a spanish accent while typing...).
The problem arises when the said child is a spoiled 5 y.o. brat who has everything in the world and you know darn well she prob won't appreciate anything you buy her anyway (cause she trashed last years gift). So I told my mom to get her My Pretty Pony loot from Toys r us. Thanks BTW~ she was a hit,heh

Jennifer said...

Now I feel bad that I've got 2 birthdays coming up and I'm having trouble deciding where to get the gift cards from. Dude, I am lazy. Also, thanks for visiting my website and leaving a comment!

Melissa said...

Yum-o! See's candy is my fav!! I brought 2 boxes home from SanFran when we visited last year!!

Sign me up!! And make sure Mr. Farklepants pulls my name or I'm putting a hit out on him!! ;)

The Girl Next Door said...

YUM Sees is for ME - my assistant introduced it to me one year at Christmas. It seems to appear here in kiosks only then ("HERE" being Maryland). I once bought boxes of it for various neighbors, wrapped it up, put it under the tree, where my yellow lab promptly ATE EVERY BOX and lived to tell about it...should've done gift cards!

Count me IN!

ekbetsy said...

Ah, See's Candy. Sweet, sweet joy. You know you want to write my name on a different colored paper and "unknowingly" pick it, right? Come on. You know you do.

Drake said...

Chocolate, from Tootsie? Count me in!

Amy said...

I've never heard of See's Candy so I would love to try it since I'm a die hard chocoholic. There's some days I'm not sure I would make it through the day without it!!

ChristieNY said...

Me, me, me please! We just moved with a 1.5 yr old and 4 year old and I'm still unpacking (and they are "helping" - ugh). I could totally use some chocolate!!!

dkuroiwa said...

HelloooOOOooo!!! Pleasepleasepleaseplease count me in!! I do love me some See's!!! Yes, I know...I'm in Japan, but I'll be going to Colorado this summer and can use the card!!!
(could also use the orgasm...and See's will do it pretty much every time!!!) :-D

*the word verification on my comment was "maydcky"...giggle!!

Anonymous said...

How about you stop with the profanity for a week and I'll buy you a box of See's?

I guess you don't realize that there are about a billion words and you use the same few ones over and over...a great example for those children of yours.

Missy said...

I read you everyday, but have never commented. But Chocolate Candy, did you say Chocolate Candy? I'm in.

hippo brigade said...

Oh Gee! I hope I win, I can really use the orgasm.

Tanja said...

Found your blog and wanted to comment and say hi! I am from Colorado and See's is in Denver but I have been known to make the trip especially for Christmas. I lalalalalove their nuts and chews!
Count me in!! Thanks-

Amy J. said...

Did you say orgasm? I'm in!

Angie said...

I am commenting from my inferior city in the middle of America - in what we like to call the heartland - because, you know, we have to make ourselves feel good about SOMETHING.

KEEP BELIEVING

THO said...

I'm trying to get rid of 25 pounds of me, dammit, and the internets start offering chances at free chocolate. Gah.

See's Candy!! I live 100 miles from the nearest store BUT I will drive there for their Calfornia Crunch and dark chocolate-covered brittle and dark chocolate-covered marzipan, and any other dark chocolate. Which all helps explain the extra 25 pounds of me that I'm trying to ditch. Yow.

MommyTime said...

I totally live in an inferior city -- and I am married to a man who grew up in CA and who DREAMS about See's candy. If I won that gift certificate, he would be beside himself with happiness. (And now that I know I can buy the stuff online, I just might score myself some serious points one of these days by doing so...)

seachange said...

WOW!!! 52 comments today. Is that an all time high? Tootsie you're on a roll. :-)

I love See's. If for some reason I don't win the gift certificate, I'll have my college roommate bring me a box from the Laguna Bch. store, when they come to visit in August.

scargosun said...

PLEASE give it to ME! It is that 'time' and I NEED IT!

MamaGeek said...

*arms waving wildy*

PICK ME. PICK ME.

YOU are my new hero.

Star said...

ooh chocolate...count me in. Do I get bonus points for telling you tomorrow is my birthday? :)

mommypie said...

A chocolate orgasm?!? Oh, yeah -- I'm all over that.

I gave bubbles just this weekend as part of a bday gift for a 4-year-old, and it's so true -- BUBBLES!!!

stu said...

Do I need to prove I had an orgasm if I win?

-Stu

Jenny said...

Ooooo! Ooooo! I want an orgasm. I mean box of chocolates.

Mama always said life is like a box of orgasms. I mean chocolates.

*sending Mr. Farklepants mental vibes to pick my name *

Angela said...

I think that because I've had a hysterectomy yet retained just enough of my ovaries to suffer completely pointless PMS every month, which I have right now, I deserve to have my name entered twice. At least. Totally.

Domestically Challenged said...

Vouchers are boring and lazy!

Those chocs look rather fabulous - wish I didn't live in an inferior city!

Mr. Farklepants said...

Wait, I am going to cause a woman to orgasm simply by selecting a piece of paper out of a bag? If only it was always that easy.

Why do I suddenly feel that I won't be able to find that little slip of paper without Tootsie showing me exactly where it is, and even then I'll still struggle locating it, and once I finally do, it will immediately slip out of my fingers.

Kimberly said...

Chocolate!!!! Now this is my kind of contest. And See's is the best. I think I had a sample every day I worked when I was pg with my little man. Now the only thing better is if you threw in a Starbucks card to go with it. LOL!!!

Natasha said...

WOW I'm so craving Sees Candy after seeing that picture. I have a feeling you're going to have a lot of comments on this post.
I wish to participate in the contest too! Yay!

Nancy R said...

Woo! Chocolate! Chocolate that could arrive at my home under covert packaging so I wouldn't have to share!

Just kidding. I'd probably share with all but the peanut allergic one....

Best contest ever, indeed!

womaninawindow said...

Ahhh, my daughter just turned 8 and cleaned up on $20 bills. I'm wondering what's going on in the world?

Manager Mom said...

I'm never one to turn down an orgasm, no matter what the source.

Bring on the chocky!

Tricia said...

The only gift cards that are good, really good, are spa gift cards. Pure indulgence without the guilt.

Now, about that chocolate...

Ann said...

Did I win, did I win? Because I SO need to put some more chocolate on my hips and ass - via someone else's fault. I would love it if it was your fault, bc I could cuss freely about it in comments. Liberating.

Jason said...

I LOVE getting gift cards. So if any one of your readers ever finds them wondering what to give me. . .a gift card is IT!!!

I like chocolate, too.

But the part that interests me most if that you're going to give one of us lucky winners an ORGASM! Is Mr. Farklepants okay with this?

Mr. Farklepants said...

Jason, perhaps you missed my comment just a bit... a bit more... a little bit more... up the page.

Ya... About That said...

PICK ME! PICK ME!

KathyE said...

Oooh, I love See's! I had some during a San Fran trip in the 90's. Yummy!!

Shamelessly Sassy said...

I need chocolate..desperately.

Cheri said...

That is such a great post! But don't put my name in the hat. I've had more than my fair share of See's candy in my life. Let someone else have a turn.

Missed you! I'm trying to catch-up after a week mostly offline. *sniff*

Cheri said...

Oh, what the hell. Put my name in the hat -- I can always re-gift! ;-)

SuzieQ said...

Live in NC and would love to sample (ha ha!!) this yummy chocolate..never seen that brand before..

MadWomanMeg said...

I am a HUGE fan of chocolate so I'm in like slim jim on this one.

My kids are both under the age of 7 and I am on the verge of categorizing all their gift cards. It's farking ridiculous to think that grown adults can't pick out a pressie for them. Seriously? The bubbles thing is GENIUS!! They go apeshit over that stuff.

violetteb said...

If I could send you a Philadelphia cheesesteak you would give me that See's chocolate!

My husband bought me and the girls See's candy last year when he travelled to San Diego and we loved it. People, this is classic, traditional, family run business chocolate.

So guess where DH was this Mother's Day? I had the record number of See's links in one of my blog posts before Mother's Day, they probably thought I worked for See's at Today.com. Dear Hubby had to ship me a box of See's truffles!

Count me IN!

Jessie Evans said...

I read this contest post yesterday and forgot to enter. Then I couldn't get chocolate off my mind all day and all night so when I got home from work I just HAD to bake and then I ate most the pan of Magic Bars and still couldn't stop thinking about chocolate so here I am praying it's my name that's drawn.

sunflowerlin said...

mmmm chocolate...Count me in!

Sara said...

Did someone say chocolate? No, seriously. See's is THE best evah! Um, and do brownie points count? LOVE your blog - its hysterical!

Karin said...

Chocolate.....mmmmmmmmm.

Groovy Mom said...

Chocolate. How could I not?

Lisa said...

I love love Tootsie Farklepants, and now I love Mr. Farklepants. I particularly like your summer plans. But most of all I love CHOCOLATE!!!

Tuli said...

I have heard of this See's candy and would LOVE to try it.

Please, Mr. Farklepants, pick me!

stephanie said...

Does it count if I make a comment about a commenter? Because I cannot resist responding to the very brave ANONYMOUS and his/her scolding of your vocabulary, along with the hilarious notion that your children are reading your blog.

For fuck's sake.

[Just in case though - I LOVE CHOCOLATE! And orgasms...]

Andrea said...

Pick me. Choose me. Love me!
I like chocolate....

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

I would like to comment on Stepanie's comment about the coward who commented on your use of the word 'Fuck' and how you seem to limit your vulgarity to the word "fuck', and how fucking fuck of the fuck's fuckity fuck. Fuck.

And chocolate.

Bunny B said...

Yes I would love this because I might be living in an "inferior" country :P

bunnybox9 at gmail .com

Sue Doe-Nim said...

*sigh*

I'll enter because it's a well established fact that all mothers of a certain age in Los Angeles are stoners.

They'll taste lovely with a side of spicy Cheetos

Susan said...

Totally live in an inferior city. Next closest See's is 90 miles away. Would LOVE a whole pound box! ;-)

tammy said...

Finally, I can enter the contest! My work computer doesn't like the comments popup all of a sudden. Perhaps I'm under surveillance?

Erin said...

See's? LOVE IT! I live in the Bay Area where there's one on every corner. They give you samples! It sucks me in and I can't help myself!

I found you via NannyGoats. She's my best friend. And, you're funny!

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

It's true! I am her best friend and you are funny.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nanny Goats In Panties said...

oops. Sorry about that. I accidentally pushed the submit button twice and wound up repeating myself and deleted the 2nd one, but then it says I deleted it so now I look like I said something horrible and scandalous and had to delete that, so now I look like a complete moron because I'm posting AGAIN to overexplain myself and I'll just stop now....

JCK said...

Well, you have my email dammit! And you KNOW that I KNOW all about Chocolate orgasms. That I do. And See's Candies. That I do. I'm IN, in, in... and out of town for a few days starting tomorrow, so don't be givin' my stash away.

CC said...

Oh yeah, oh yeah, I want some too!!

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Mmmmmm...orgasm. Oh. I mean, mmmm...candy.

TanyaK said...

I NEED SEE'S!!!! Pick me, oh PLEASE pick me...

We get one box every Christmas from one of our clients. There are 12 of us in the office, and you've never seen so many sneaky, backstabbing people in your life as when that box is opened.

mom2tot said...

I live in an "inferior city" please GOD make me win so I can try the chocolate, you know I need it!!!! LOL

Kathy C said...

See's candy rocks! Pick me! Pick me!!

1blueshi1 said...

Forget the chocolate.
SEND. ORGASM!
hehehe
chocolate first, then orgasm? orgasm first, then chocolate? Ah the decisions a lovely decision can contain! (name THAT poem, I dare ya)

Sarah said...

Just barely made the See's deadline. Mmmmmm...Pick me!

Eve Grey said...

I love orgasms.