Tootsie's weekly advice column. She's no expert, although she's not really sure what constitutes "expert". If it involves school, she attended the school of Very Strong Opinions. Questions are welcomed. Answers may borderline ridiculous.
Seriously? What where you thinking? You're at the top of your game. A bazillion -give or take a few- young girls idolize you. No one in the world is more popular than you are, right now. What in the stinkin' Christ compelled you to agree to that Vanity Fair photo shoot? Haven't you heard of Britney, Jamie-Lynn, Lindsay Lohan, and one of those Olsen twins? Personally, I don't think the photos are any big deal BUT YOU HAD TO KNOW THE CONTROVERSY THAT IT WOULD CREATE! I don't know if you weren't thinking or just letting others do the thinking for you or if you were just getting a little too cocky. You gave the media gossip gold, sweetheart. They were waiting for exactly this and they didn't even have to wait until you were like twenty. You wasted no time. Who cares if your parents and handlers approved. They aren't you. They don't now have to live with the media circus that will become your life. They won't be stalked or chased down busy streets. Paparazzi won't be waiting impatiently to get that money crotch shot of them. You're on damage control now and unfortunately, I think it's too late. The media will follow your every move. Breaking news about where you shopped, how much you spent, and where you bought your coffee will replace serious issues like how many soldiers were wounded or killed in Iraq today.
So take a time out. Retreat. Stay out of the limelight for a while. And for the love of God, if you do nothing else, wear panties at all times.