The Post That Serves as a Warning to Those Who Live in Her House

Here's the thing. Tootsie has family coming in from out of town next Saturday. And Tootsie is beside herself excited that her brother, her sister in law [who's also one of Tootsie's bestest friends], and her nephew will be spending the week with her and her family! And when she says beside herself she means there is one of her right here and then another one immediately to the left of her. She also wishes that one to the left of her would get off her lazy posterior and help knock some things off of that to-do list that Tootsie keeps mentioning ohmygod she's a nag! I mean, c'mon! Look at this thing:

1. Organize office so that company can use it to store their emotional baggage.
2. Also clean the office and don't forget to dust because someone is drawing pictures in the layer that occupies the desk.
3. Find out who is doing the drawing and ask them to cut it out.
4. Buy borrow a portable crib from a friend who is still in possession of an infant so that family doesn't have to lug their's cross country.
5. Re-baby proof the electrical outlets.
6. Wrap new couch and coffee table in several layers of Saran Wrap
7. Replace patio furniture cushions that birds destroyed
8. Replace patio umbrella that wind destroyed.
9. Replace shower curtain liner that is learning a thing or two about mildew
   
10. Invest in new mattress pad for pull out couch and throw some new pillows in there while you're at it
    
11. Plan more elaborate meals that don't include hot dogs or mac & cheese
    
12. Wash guest towels & sheets
    
13. Clean, vacuum, dust, and pay extra attention to detail in the bathrooms like you usually do only mo' betta.
14. Clean out and restock refrigerator & pantry with delicious snacks
    
15. See doctor for Prozac
    
16. Get windows cleaned nevermind they can't come until after the family leaves and kind of defeats the purpose
17. Find out which one of the boys is peeing with the toilet seat down and demand that it be stopped effective immediately
18. Build a dungeon
19. Throw out clean the oven
    
20. Relocate husband and children to a safe house to shield them from the level five hurricane bitch Tootsie will become while trying to accomplish all of the above and also how she prohibits anyone from walking on the freshly vacuumed carpet - which is so much fun.
    

Who wants to volunteer to remind Tootsie that it is her brother that is visiting and not her inlaws and her brother doesn't give a rat's fig about the state of anything in her house except maybe a dungeon? I feel it only fair to warn you that she bites when she's under a tremendous amount of self inflicted pressure, and also that she goes for the jugular when told she's being unreasonable, so please keep this in mind when raising your hand. It's much the same way she behaves when PMSing only with less feminine hygiene products and cramps.

She would also like to remind you that today is the last day to get in on the giveaway of super delicious candy! So go there and leave your comment to throw your name in the hat! The winner will be announced tomorrow! And that's a lot of exclamation marks!