Smash Bros and no Wii in Sight

There are parents who take a very strong stance against children playing video games all day. During the school year our kids are not allowed to play them on school nights. Well, it's summer break [and five million degrees outside] here and we've been enjoying Wii Fit and Wii Sports as a family for hours at a time. I can already tell that I'm going to be doing a free fall onto the toilet after all the squatting from Wii ski jump, and do not be surprised if I eventually develop a case of Wii tennis elbow or sprain a hip from Wii hula hoop. I welcome the camaraderie the video games present. Because Tuesday afternoon I switched off the games and ordered my children to enjoy the warm summer evening outside. It wasn't long before I heard a suspicious fracas, and found my boys on the front lawn literally beating the shit out of each other. My neighbor's son, home from college for the summer and washing his car; stood there mouth agape looking as if he wasn't sure he should intervene and I'm thinking to myself, "You're washing your car turn the hose on them, Bucko!". Boy-Child#2's nose was bloodied and it was in his mouth (the blood not his nose) and I feared he'd lost some teeth as well. And people question why I don't let them walk home from school together on minimum days. This. This is why. They can go from being the best of friends to fisticuffs in a hot second. Boy-Child#1 is usually a pretty mellow fella. Even when he's happy and excited it's kinda hard to tell. He inherited much of the cool Fin from Mr. Farklepants' side of the family. But Boy-Child#2 inherited all of the feisty Irish from yours truly. His quick temper is always brewing just below the surface. I'm sure yesterday's mêlée had more to do with Boy-Child#2 trying to hold his own in front of the older neighborhood kids. Or just maybe it was our trip to the movies earlier in the day to see Kung Fu Panda (in a theater that had recently been vomited in judging by the lingering scent) that had them demonstrating their unfathomable terror fury and crouching tiger smoking bear defense and other imaginary Kung Fu moves. I know after seeing GI Jane years ago, I had my moment where I wanted to join the Navy SEALS, shave my head BALD, and kick some major ass.

Who was it that was just complaining about parents who keep their kids busy in day camps all summer? Who has egg on her face now? And who was the genius who grounded them from video games for this infraction? -because you can't let ass whoopin' go unpunished- That would be me. Upon further thought, post punishment smack down, I realized that if they were in the house playing video games they'd at least be within eye sight rather than outside and within ear shot. I hate it when my mouth beats my brain to the punch. The end.

Pop quiz: How many synonyms for "fight" were used in the creation of this post? Answer: too many