Friday, October 10, 2008

And His New Favorite Phrase is: That's Random


This week, a certain someone in the Farklepants house turned twelve. He blew out candles on a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake [delish, natch]. He opened his gift; one of only two items under one hundred dollars suggested on his birthday wish list [a list that should have bore the title: Dream On - Not a Song by Aerosmith]. He was told that if he wanted Rock Band or an iPhone he was going to have to save his own money and was once again reminded that his father is not made of it, even if his friends parents apparently are. And son, if you really would like to receive those frivolous and expensive items then Mommy will have to go back to work to support that; and do you really want that to happen? Do you want Mommy to leave? Happy birthday son, here's your gift of guilt. You're welcome. Plus his mom is secretly hoping that Rock Band never makes it into the house because she is sick to everlovingdeath of video game equipment taking over the family room and is running out of places to stash it. There are no longer hiding places for everything and everything in its hiding place [the Wii Fit balance board is already calling olly olly oxen free from under the coffee table, for reals]. What there is, is plenty of overflow. Because we haven't even begun to discuss wires. Dusty wires. And those with Y chromosomes lack the gene that perceives wires to be an irritating nuisance.

The rest of his gift is a day at Magic Mountain with his friends. Because the great thing about the gift of a trip is that you go to the amusement park; it does not come to your house. Where it would need to be found a shelf for keeping. And occasionally dusted.

Happy birthday, Boy-Child#1. You can stop aging now. Your continued growth makes it difficult for me to put you in my pocket and keep you safe forever. Thanks. Love, Mom.

*photo by Mr. Farklepants and his super bad-ass camera

34 comments:

LuckyMe said...

Happy Birthday.

Please let us know how you like WII Fit. I did not allow video games in my house until I bought a Wii for myself. Tennis is getting old.

Heidi said...

The next year is going to make your head spin. My #1 boy/child will be celebrating 13 next Friday (if I let him live that long). The "only" thing he wants is a $500 camera. 'Scuse me??!

Madge said...

Why do they do this to us? Why do they keep getting bigger and older? I have to stop myself every day from saying, "you're getting so tall, you're getting so big" because they just roll their eyes at me.

MamaMo said...

They grow up SO fast! I'm still looking for the emergency brake to pull 'cause life is blurring by!

Susie said...

I face each child's birthday with equal measures of sadness and joy. Their own birthdays have taken on more importance than my own. Sigh...

calicobebop said...

I like the idea of giving an experience as a gift. I'm not sure I can get away with that yet, but there's hope for the future anyway.

Domestic Spaz said...

My niece has been saying that "random" thing all the time, too.... I guess it's the new thing.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Magic Mountain? You're a brave woman--it'll probably end up costing you as much as Rock Band. But you have a good point about the wires.

Karen said...

Happy Birthday, Little Mr. Farklepants!

We have refused to go downt the electronics road. My husband is seriously contemplating buying a Wii for the kids for Christmas. I'm seriously thinking of building another house for them to all play it in.

Sue @ My Party of 6 said...

Happy birthday, Boy-Child! The Rock Band drum set is HARD to disguise, but playing it is WAY fun, although my kids no longer let me sing. (My oldest also had to save his own money to buy it, but it was quite a motivator.)

smalltownmom said...

Happy Birthday!!!!! I bet Magic Mountain was fun.

Bunny Bunster said...

Happy birthday boy child!
(If I hear 'Random' one more time I will run screaming!!)

All Adither said...

HBD, oldest child.

My oldest just lost his first tooth last night and I'm so proud.

barbra said...

Wow, Happy Birthday!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

So my refusal to buy my kids game systems is a good thing then. Glad to know that!

apathetic bliss said...

you are fabuloous...I love the way you write...it always makes me smile...and sometimes even snort coffee out my nose...just saying

MamaHenClucks said...

Happy birthday. Over here, we're just starting to lose teeth. When someone hits double digets, I might cry. I love the idea of keeping them safe in your pocket.

Marmarbug said...

AWWW Happy Birthday! I don;t know about you but I hate all video games except Wii games.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

Sweet...

Lisa said...

We just got the Wii Fit yesterday along with Carnival Games. So excited!! I have not played it yet. I am waiting for hubby to leave before I stand on it and it displays my weight for all to see.

Wires, wires, wires. They are everywhere. They bug me and girls to no end. Hubby on the hand sees no problem with them. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

I am ashamed that this may be my 1st post... I read you often...and laugh ALOT!!

Watch out...12 is nothing. My #1 baby is 17 now and just yesterday she was pooping in her diaper. It goes so fast. Check her out!! She's todays post...

Martie of

http://uncontainedchaos.blogspot.com

OHmommy said...

Happy birthday to boy child #1. I think that was the best birthday post I have ever read. For reals.

Mrs. G. said...

Happy Birthday!

Manic Mommy said...

We're turning six in a month (still small enough to fit in my pocket - and kiss me in public) and are knee deep in all things video game and star wars.

I don't see it getting any better.

Happy Birthday big boy!

ms-teacher said...

I hope he has a wonderful birthday! (Wrestling Fan turned 12 in April.)

Undomestic Diva said...

Great photo & a happy birthday to him.

EmBee said...

Hey, I remember 'Magic Mountain'... I grew up in the SCV. Fun place to celebrate a b'day! Hope he had a great time!

And I know what you mean about that video game equipment... DDR mats are especially difficult to store in a hidey hole.
:-)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Was there pizza too? Because there is nothing better after a ton of pizza and ice cream than jumping onto 12 different stomach-churning roller coasters! YUM YUM!

ZombieDaddy said...

For her last birthday my daughter said "I want one of those huge bib tarp things," and I was all "Why do you want one of those huge bib tarp things?" and she was all "because I keep getting brains on my shirts."

Sensible girl that. But growing up too quickly.

Manager Mom said...

Aww... happy birthday, Cusp-Of-Teenagerdom!

And I like the new catchphrase. Better than my 5 year old's new one- "What is this, a dating service?"

He randomly yells it out at places like restaurants and church. I think he got it from Nickelodeon. I'm hoping, anyway.

And oh, by the way, don't let the Wii Fit make you feel bad about yourself. When I first tried it it told me my Wii age was SIXTY ONE.

Electronic bastard.

georgie said...

Happy Birthday Boy-Child #1

mr farklepants does have a bad ass camera wow!

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

Happy belated birthday to boy child #1.

Listen to your mother and stop growing up.

KEEP BELIEVING

g said...

Ah, but when they turn into teenagers they take all their crap into their rooms, and you never see it OR them again!

just kidding...they don't take the stuff they're bored with, so you can dwell on that while you wonder if they'll ever talk to you again.

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