Monday, October 20, 2008

A Little More Grown Up Every Day

This is last year's Halloween picture. We have our black kitty, our escaped chain-gang convict, and our zombie doctor.


What wasn't known at the time this photo was taken was that it would be the last year that the zombie doctor would dress up in costume and join us for trick or treating. The zombie doctor had originally planned to dress up as The Joker from The Black Knight this Halloween, but when the zombie doctor found out that none of his peers had any intention of partaking in this childhood (emphasis on child) tradition; the zombie doctor informed me that he'd changed his mind.

And when the zombie doctor told me this, I had mixed emotions - shaken not stirred. Much the same way as when he admitted that...

SPOILER ALERT...

He knew there was no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny because, as he observed, "Why would a rabbit leave us candy and hide our eggs and what in the world do eggs have to do with Easter anyway"? Good point son, I wish I had answers for you. Now let me distract you with this Cadbury Egg - what were we talking about again? I'm in denial I forget. At the time I was a little excited that we were sharing this secret and that he was in on the game and that he knew that I knew that he knew that I'm the magic that happened in his childhood; and that now he got to be grown up and help perpetuate the mythical tradition for his younger siblings. It was gonna be fun! But another part of me was a lot sad. Sad that it was over in the blink of an eye.

Now he's leaving Halloween behind. His new assignment is to man the door and pass out candy to trick or treaters in my absence. Where absence equals chaperoning Boy-Child#2 and Girl-Child to every. house. in. the. neighborhood. After receiving his orders, there was a brief conversation:

Boy-Child#1: And when you guys get home I'll just take some of their candy.
Tootsie: No you won't.
Boy-Child#1: Why not?!
Tootsie: Because it's their candy. If you want candy you have to go trick or treating yourself.
Boy-Child#1: That's not fair.
Tootsie: It's your choice.

Is it just me or do you think he'll be raiding the bowl of candy the entire time I'm away from the house on Halloween night? Yeah. I thought so. Contrary to what he may think, I did not just fall off the truck yesterday. That was at least five days ago.

*photo by Dorothy Z.

P.s. After disqualifying Mr. Farklepants on the grounds that he's related to the powers that be here at Vintage Thirty and plus he hates Starbucks so why waste a gift card on him; the winner of the photo caption contest and ten dollar Starbucks gift card goes to Black Hockey Jesus! Because when I read his: "At a loss, McCain busts out the robot". I totally could hear Herbie Hancock's Rockit in my head. Well done Mr. Jesus.

28 comments:

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

At what age do kids bail on childhood these days? They say kids grow up so fast, I wonder if they quit before they even learn to speak.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

I never admitted to the fraud. (5th Amendment and all.) My twenty-four-year-old daughter and I still talk about how Santa gets down the chimney.

And Laura? She came home from school in Kindergarten and told me that a boy had told everyone there was no such thing as Santa, and that she proved him wrong. I asked her how. She said, "Mom, think about it. Could any human get around the world in a sleigh and visit every house in one night? There has to be someone like Santa to do that kind of magic."

calicobebop said...

Poor Boy Child #1 - some of the magic and mystery of childhood is gone. At least he still believes that babies come from storks right? Have you had to have "that" conversation with him yet? Scary!

smalltownmom said...

How dare they go and grow up on us?

Marmarbug said...

Oh no! How can he not want to trick or treat!
And yeah he will totally be eating your supply.

dorothy said...

I hope "The Black Knight" was an intentional mistake. Otherwise, I'd have to disown you as my sister.

for a different kind of girl said...

My oldest son is on the fence about going trick or treating this year, and, like you, I'm kind of sad about this development. One of the reasons I'm so sad is that, without him out there on the streets, the chances of my kids bringing me a 100 Grand bar is instantly cut in half. Sure, I know I can buy my own to hand out to the trick or treaters, but I've been known to turn the porch light out halfway through the night and slip into a candy-induced coma! I need my kids out there to enable me!

Mr. Farklepants said...

Good catch Dorth... Shammmmmme TF... SHAAAAAMMMMMEEEEE....

Tootsie Farklepants said...

dorothy ~ omg I'm so embarrassed. I disown myself. That's what I get for rushing through a post.

Burgh Baby said...

I have been slowly trying to explain the whole thing where you go door-to-door and get candy from strangers to the Toddler, but all she hears is "strangers" and tells me NOOOOOO. I fear she may not want to trick-or-treat this year (again) and am disappointed to the Nth degree that (once again) I will have to buy all the candy that I plan to consume. Dammit.

How about He Who is Too Grown-Up for Trick-or-Treating pretends to be the Toddler and I'll split the proceeds with him?

The Stiletto Mom said...

that makes me so sad!!! I think I have two Halloweens left with my son and I am pretty sure Santa is going out the window this year...now, I must go find Kleenex....

scargosun said...

Alas, I trick or treated way too late into my childhood. I loved PB cups WAY too much.

MamaHenClucks said...

NOOOOOO! Why does childhood go by so very, very quickly??? I hate that!

My chickie boy came home from kindergarten saying Santa wasn't real but I told him, "Look buddy, the day you quit believing Santa isn't real is the day he quits bringing you gifts." That should hold him hostage to the belief for at least a few more years, right?? Right???

Helena said...

Hi Tootsie, I've tagged you over at Helena Writes...

Mr. Farklepants said...

This is one area where TF and I are at odds. I hate lying to kids about Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny or any of the imaginary beings we lie to them about.

I think I asked TF if I could tell him the truth about Santa when he was 6.

The only thing I hate worse than lying to kids is handing out candy to the little shits on Halloween.

So this little incident just killed two birds with one stone for me!

Baby Favorite said...

I find it amazing that, one day, it's their first Halloween (and you feel like you have a lifetime of costumes ahead of you)... and then you blink, and it's suddenly their last.

JoeinVegas said...

How old is he? Don't worry, he'll be dressing up again as soon as he realizes the girls like it (they do, don't they?) at the Haloween dance.
And yes, expect the candy bowl to be empty when you return home. Last year we went through three bags of candy (those big Costco mixed chocolates bags) on Haloween night, and we only had three trick or treaters come by.

Black Hockey Jesus said...

Whoo hoo!

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

He'll totally be raiding. I kept it up until I was 12 for the sheer candy factor. I'm sorry he's getting to the age where he's too good for the fun stuff..

Indy said...

That stinks that he isn't trick or treating this year. I am not looking forward to my kids reaching this milestone. Bummer!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Yay! I voted for Black Hockey Jesus.

Keep a costume at the ready. They tend to change their mind at the last minute. Nobody at my house has quit before age 16--I like to make them take little kids with 'em 'cause it is kind of embarassing when they're taller than the adults at the door.

Nil Zed said...

Of course he'll be raiding the bowl of candy--just like any grown up. And buying the candy he doesn't like won't stop him anymore than it stops me, er, you. I mean.

Oh, and burgh baby, you're getting candy from neighbors, not strangers. Though you may not know them, you could, in theory know them well enough to bump them up the ladder of unknowness from stranger to neighbor in the blue house that I nod to in the grocery'.

cactus petunia said...

Wha? Huh? No Santa?! La La La La.... I can't HEAR YOU! Who told you that? Next you're going to tell me there's no Tooth Fairy. That would be very, very sad. My kids think I'm a freak.

On the upside? My 28 year old son just called me up to help him make a Halloween costume.

JCK said...

Oh...that is bittersweet. Yes, he'll be stuffing that candy in his mouth and maybe "workin'" the door so that the parents standing behind the kids will give HIM candy.

Anonymous said...

My son was 10 when his "friends" told him the truth about santa. I asked him what he thought, and he said he *knew* there was no snata/easter bunny/tooth fairy, etc. I said "Hmmm. That's too bad" and walked away. he followed asking me why. I turned around and told him "sadly" "well, those who believe, receive. Oh well. Siggghhh"
2 days later he came to me and said "ok. Fine. I believe" Then in a really quiet voice he said "I still get presents and stuff for "believing" right?" I smiled and said "You betcha!!"
He is 27 now and still "believes". It's more fun for all of us that way. :)
Shannon R.

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