Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Opposites Attract Just Like Paula Abdul Said

In yesterday's comments, Mr. Farklepants said the following:

This is one area where TF and I are at odds. I hate lying to kids about Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny or any of the imaginary beings we lie to them about.
It's true. That is one area. Here is another: our respective personal preferences about where to live. See, we live in Stepford suburbia, not because we like cookie cutter homes, postage stamp sized yards, and more chain restaurants than we can shake a stick at -and who shakes sticks at restaurants anymore? Not us that's who -but because when it came time to buy a home we considered the children [well, really the CHILD because it was just the one at the time, but who were we kidding when all he had to do was look at me and I was all, I think I'm pregnant... what I'm saying is we knew there would be more] and who they would have to play with, which school district they would attend, and what house we could afford. Hence our move to somewhere that neither of us ever thought we'd live. We did what many people do when they're doing what they think is best for their family: we compromised.

In Mr. Farklepants' perfect world we would live here:


Rural with wide open spaces, acreage, and sagebrush, and don't forget isolation.

I like my wide open spaces with a great deal of skyscrapers:


When Mr. Farklepants talks about his neighbors, he's referring to the family that lives several miles away:


When I say neighbors, I mean the people who live directly on the other side of the shared wall:


Mr. Farklepants' idea of transportation includes tires designed for maximum traction. And necessary protective gear:


I like my transportation to include a driver that may or may not speak with an accent or bathe on a regular basis:


Mr. Farklepants' idea of nearby retail establishments:


My ideal shopping experience:

Believe me when I tell you this: If Mr. Farklepants' job didn't require him to live in close proximity to our current location...there would be a ruckus. A grand mal ruckus of epic proportions.

When the children are grown, moved out, and living their own lives; please check back for a post titled: A Tale of Two Houses. Or perhaps, Retirement: Six Months Here, Six Months There. Or maybe even, Wait a Minute, Didn't I Used to Have a Husband? Where Did He Go? Oh Look! Shoes!

**all photos Google Images

35 comments:

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Sex or shoes, indeed these will be the difficult choices when all the kids are grown and gone.

hulagirlatheart said...

If you get an apartment with a rooftop pool, there's always the pool boy...preferrably a young pool boy interested in women with the last name Robinson. Coo-coo-a-choo.

Country Mouse City Mouse Indy said...

We're the same way (but in different ways). Stephen wants a house, with a tiny yard, in a young hip neighborhood with lots of college girls and walking distance pubs, I want a log cabin in the woods with goats and big dogs, and a couple acres to garden. We agree that we want great schools, close to family and lots of kids to play with, so of course we know we'll end up in a neighborhood with vinyl siding, matching mailboxes and NO trees. que lastima.

Eve Grey said...

All that nature stuff is for vacation purposes only.

calicobebop said...

Living in Suburbia will help Mr. F. appreciate his time in the great outdoors! If you lived there it wouldn't be as fascinating!

LuckyMe said...

Thankfully my husband and I are of like mind when it comes to lifestyle. We both grew up in the city and dream of the day when we can people watch and walk to everything.
Fresh air??? Times Square!

Mr. Farklepants said...

Green acres is the place for me.
Farm livin' is the life for me.
Land spreadin' out so far and wide
Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

New York is where I'd rather stay.
I get allergic smelling hay.
I just adore a penthouse view.
Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue.

PS: I grew up in an actual log cabin... seriously.

Minnesota Matron said...

Tootsie and the Matron? Same tastes. Give this aging girl strappy sandals and an espresso. However, her husband is a classic Metrosexual and, sans sandals, shares the same taste. We'll all visit Mr. T.

JoeinVegas said...

I'm with you. Big city, things to do an places to go, and lots of stores to shop in. Yea.

mommy2twinkies-Deb said...

I'm with you Tootsie. Love love love the city!

MamaMo said...

We're the same way, only I'm the country girl. Add to that, my decorating taste tends to the antiques and quaint clutter, while he's all ONE black leather Scandenavian chair with a floor lamp in a white room. Our compromise - modern clutter!

O'Neal (The woman in charge around here) said...

Wow, I am so glad to know we are NOT the only ones in this struggle of his vs hers! LOL We are currently in the process of *looking* for a new home that will be suitable for BOTH parties...God help me!

I'm hoping that as long as my house plans include a full sized walk out basement, he won't mind the grand fire place in the sitting room just off the Master ;). It *is* fun dreaming on paper though since we (*I* ahem)could not agree on any of the (hundreds of)listings the poor real estate agent desperately dug up and emailed!

I'm hoping this is our LAST home so I want to make sure it is perfect (4+ bedrooms!), you know, just in case I go insane one day in the future and fall ill with that nasty baby bug fever or something... :) Until then I will let all the really expensive(unused) exercise equipment live in there.

Lynette said...

I'm with you. I want the GARDNER to be doing my lawn. And I want shoes. Lots and lots of shoes.

dkuroiwa said...

Almost from the beginning of this I was singing the theme song to "Green Acres"!!!!!! Mr. Farklepants...you rock!!
six months here..six months there...sounds good to me....now, let's just hope there is retirement money to help fund that...or that the kids have really good jobs!!

scargosun said...

We don't even have kids and that is why we moved to the 'burbs. GA!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Must have neighbors. And not ones that are several acres away.

Sue @ My Party of 6 said...

Amen, sistah! I'll take the gobbling of pigeons over the crowing of roosters any day! (And my husband is the opposite too.)

Swirl Girl said...

I am stuck somewhere between your vision and Mr. F's.

I like being close to a city - but not in one. And, I like being close to nature - without actually having to be in it. I don't 'do' nature.

Undomestic Diva said...

OMG, we married the same man. Candy Ass would love to live somewhere no one could hear me scream and I need to be within walking distance of at least one Starbucks, preferrably two. Sigh.

Undomestic Diva said...

Shit. That whole "where no one could hear me scream" part may have sounded, um, weird. AW WELL.

Baby Favorite said...

Oh, I HEAR YOU.

Green Acres is "our song" in our marriage. I was raised in Orange County but now live on acreage among tumbleweeds. It's NOT PRETTY.

Dr. Phil wanted us to come to Burbank (2 year ago) to be on a show he was doing on opposites. I thought it was a great idea, but guess what? My husband? Uh, not so much. So, we didn't go.

Maybe you & I can be roommates someday in a high rise somewhere.

San Diego Momma said...

I just got back from New York and told my husband we had to move there ASAP.

Wish me luck.

fairytalesandmargaritas said...

We have the very same issue in our house!

Mrs. G. said...

I'm with the mister on this one.

MadWoman said...

Sounds like Hotty Hubby and I. My ideal world is out in the country with no neighbours for 10 minutes on either side. He likes being in the city. We're heading for a compromise, with more of MY needs being met...As it should be :)

g said...

Are you guys going to break into a rendition of the "Green Acres" theme song?

The Introvert said...

I married my opposite too. Fortunately, we both like living in the city, and we'd both love to live in a trendy loft. Aaaand that's about where the similarities end.

Nicole said...

Hahah you guys are like my parents.

georgie said...

I think we could be sister in laws cuz mr gp's idea of where to live,how to shop and the mode of transportation is the exact same as mr farklepants....so your house or mine for the Holidays this year?

JCK said...

Aaah...to have both!

I've missed this place. Good to catch up.

My Name is Cat said...

We chose to live in the perfect 'burb with the great school district for the kids, too, and now that they're 13 & 16, I think I made a bad choice. I'm ready for more urban life and I think they would have been fine there.

Jason said...

Ahh, yes. The choice to live in Suburbia. I hear ya, Toots.

suzannah said...

my husband and i are the same. except, currently he is winning and we live at a camp in a semi-rural small town. beautiful, but it's no city. sigh.

i'm glad i happened onto your blog--it's so funny!

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