Thursday, October 9, 2008

There's a Little Something Stuck in My Wedge Issue


*image courtesy of Cafe Press. B-cup bust not included.

Tootsie would like to know: what exactly is it that marriage needs protection from? Tootsie does not think that they are talking about divorce. She also doesn't think they mean that twenty-two year old intern with the great rack. Or that it needs protection from being taken for granted, or that it's become comfortable and boring, or rather predictable, or because it's suffering under the financial strain. Or that it needs to be protected from the kids that have sucked the entire romance right out of it. Or inlaws.

Their website announces that a recent poll shows traditional marriage is in the lead. Tootsie thinks that that is because traditional marriage has had a hell of a head start. They are also over-concerned about the vocabulary surrounding marriage and that words like "bride and groom" are returned to state marriage licenses because apparently anytime someone signs one of the gender neutral variety, a kitten dies. Tootsie doesn't think that they really care all that much about words.

They are worried that the value of marriage is being undermined. Tootsie thinks they should worry about their own individual marriages and leave everyone else the hell alone and not concern themselves so much with how others choose to live their lives. Tootsie isn't sure but she believes that everyone in her valley received their "Yes on 8" bumper stickers in the mail this week. She was made aware of this when she was confronted with several that cropped up overnight. She's worried that she's landed in a nest of supporters. Send help. Bat signal use is optional.

Come November in California, Tootsie will be voting NO on Yes on 8. Tootsie believes that the only thing that can undermine the value of a marriage are the two people in it.

54 comments:

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

I think the Yes on 8 people should all go move to their own island, cut off from the rest of us. Let's see how long they last without good musical theatre and hair dressers! And afternoon talk show hosts. And clothes. That's right. Yes on 8 = naked, crapass-haired idiots.

Sam said...

hmmm, I have never quite understood how they think that other people's marriages can affect their own!

If anything I think that it encourages the idea that we should all love one another. It seems to be that the pro-8 people have forgotten that God IS Love.

Catholic Runner said...

Nicely stated.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Blog This Mom! is voting NO on Proposition 8 because she believes that's what Jesus would do.

Well, that, and she knows it's about time, yo.

EatPlayLove said...

I love elections. In Colorado we have a REAL DOOZEY this year, an amendment that would define a PERSON to as the moment of conception. Wild, I tell you.

Does anyone else see that "blaring boobies" in the arms and head of those two grown ups in the logo?

O'Neal (The woman in charge around here) said...

"Tootsie believes that the only thing that can undermine the value of a marriage are the two people in it."

I TOTALLY AGREE! That, and the home wrecking whores prancing around offices seeking out wedding bands like radar just looking to mess with someone and tempt their morals. They should be sent to Nanny Goat's island also and be in charge of maintaining the Porta Potties ;).

hulagirlatheart said...

I wonder how many of the Yes on 8 folks are struggling in their own marriage and yet worrying way too much about someone else's relationship. Hmmm.

for a different kind of girl said...

Fantastically stated! I wish I lived in California so I could vote no to it, too.

JCK said...

You rock this post, girl! I'll come rescue you. Should I drive up in my minivan with BOY & GIRL shouting NO TO PROPOSITION 8! out the windows??

This "amendment" makes me crazy. Aren't there POSSIBLY other things people could be worrying about?

Thank you for this. Thank you.

And Nanny Goat is cracking me up...

Jemez2 said...

This says something about one of the baser human instincts - wanting to know what's going on in other people's bedrooms. I say YES to supporting loving, committed relationships, regardless of how their private parts fit together.

smalltownmom said...

Right on, Tootsie. Your last sentence is gold.

Lo said...

when i lived in cali, this was an issue even back in... oh, 1999. and i was for voting NO NO NO. i was around 14/15. you know what some asshat friends of mine did? overnight, they took about 30 'yes to prop 8' signs and put them all in my front yard. YEAH. my parents just LOVED that. not. we were appalled. i promptly threw them out.

what is sad, is that this has been an issue for almost ten years.

people are people. let them f'ing marry if they want to. WHO THE HELL CARES. worry about yer own marriage first.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Of course Jenn agrees with Tootsie.

Jenn and her son were in a quandary about where he should vote in first election--Colorado where he goes to school and is a swing state or California which is not a swing state but does have prop 8 on the ballot.

Thankfully, CO seems to be going for Obama so it looks like they made the right decision to have another "NO" vote on 8 in CA.

Madge said...

Perfectly said.

Sue said...

Your last sentence says it all.... let's just stop trying to make other people unhappy. It doesn't get us any farther ahead than we already are.

I live in your valley, Tootsie, and if I see you, I'll honk and wave. You'll know it's me, 'cause I will be the other car without a "Yes on 8" sticker.

I almost didn't move to this valley in 1999, because of all of those lawn signs trying to "protect" marriage. I wasn't really sure I could ever fit in here.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Tootsie.

Bunny Bunster said...

Well said!

g said...

Tootsie believes that the only thing that can undermine the value of a marriage are the two people in it.

You put it perfectly.

No on 8.

KD @ A Bit Squirrelly said...

You know I found in general that if people worry and mind themselves everyone that interacts with them tends to do the same and GUESS WHAT? It works out just fine. Very well said Tootsie.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Amen.

barbra said...

NO TO HATE! NO ON 8!

If you want to see an example of what marriage really needs to be protected from, go over to www.jenontheedge.com.

But you and I both know that that's not what Prop 8 is about. Prop 8 is about DISCRIMINATION.

MamaMo said...

Well said. I'll keep my fingers crossed on election day that Cali (and Colorado) don't slip backwards. Of course, who am I to talk - NC only recently got rid of the language in the law that marriage helps to "preserve the race".

Cheaper in Baht said...

WoW.
Just WoW.
Well said!

scargosun said...

I would gladly banish those "yes on 8" supporters to my island but I think it would get over crowded and since after the election I will probably have a couple people to send as well maybe I'll make them sit in stand-by.

dorothy said...

I agree 100%! As you know.

Mama Dawg said...

Hear, hear. Who cares who marries who? As long as they're committed to the marriage (and truly mean it when they propose), I don't care who marries who.

I'll even go one step further and say, "let 'em have kids, too!".

Gasp! I hope the homophobes where I live don't ever hear me say that!

Wait, yes I do.

Allison said...

AMEN sista! I knew I loved you for a reason.

Amy said...

I'm not in CA but I'm with you on this one!

apathetic bliss said...

Amen! wish I was there to vote no too!

Anonymous said...

From what I understand, voting no on 8 means that churches will be required to perform homosexual unions, even if it's completely against their doctrine. Do you think that's right? Regardless of what your personal opinion on the subject is, and personally, I have no problem with people marrying who they want; doesn't seem right to me that a group should be forced to go against it's own standards.
What needs to change is the laws that state a couple must be married in order to benefit from it's perks.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Churches are not required to marry anybody. Some won't marry divorcees, or those of differing faiths, etc.

And nowhere in my official voter information guide for the upcoming election does it mention anything about church at all in either the for or against arguments.

LuckyMe said...

Well said, Tootsie and Jemez2. Very funny, nanny goats. I wish my East Coast neighbors could be so enlightened.

You cannot give equal rights to unmarried partners. This is what I hear the candidates saying and it scares me. I can change my beneficiary on a whim? Depending on who needs my benefits today?

That's exactly why we must encourage "loving, committed relationships."

Keep in touch with your representatives, people. Make sure your voice is heard.

http://www.congress.org/congressorg/home/

Jennifer H said...

You need a fat red magic marker to make the NO sign (circle with line through) on all of those Yes on 8 bumper stickers.

3VS1 said...

I totally agree with you. Everyone has the right to love who they will,and how they will. It's not up to the person next door to tell me OR them any differant.
NO ON 8!!!

Baby Favorite said...

I couldn't agree more, and am glad I am in CA to vote NO against it.

cactus petunia said...

Don't those Prop. 8 supporters have anything better to do than to go around and tell everyone else how to behave?

Nicole said...

Let's get matching NO on prop 8 stickers and hope the rest of our valley catches on. Or we can go out late an night and put No stickers over the Yes ones. :O

Minnesota Matron said...

The Matron is sniffing into her hankie -- she could NOT agree more. "The only thing that can undermine the value of a marriage are the two people in it."

Beautiful. Quotable! And because it's quotable: it's "of a marriage IS the two people in it" because the pronoun 'it' refers back to the only 'thing.' which is singular.

Please forgive her! The sentence was so damn memorable she had to make it perfect.

g said...

from what I understand, voting no on 8 means that churches will be required to perform homosexual unions, even if it's completely against their doctrine.

Sorry, that's simply a scare tactic. There's nothing in the law that would do that.

Let me ask you a question - why would a couple choose a church that was hostile to them as the place to celebrate their love for one another?

this is a silly argument.

The Girl Next Door said...

Well I'd have to vote NO but maybe b/c I think marriage in general deserves a NO vote. Who me? Jaded? Just a bit? hmmmm maybe....

Jason said...

You are my best friend!!!

And when JCK comes up to shout No On 8 out of the minivan windows, please stop by and pick me up, too!

And your other readers? THEY ROCK!!!

stephanie (bad mom) said...

Brilliant all around.

Some people need better hobbies. Step 1: Watch any Gael Garcia Bernal movie to purge all conservative thoughts.

Thank you for your investigative insights.

L said...

L agrees with you!

Stu said...

I can't remember where I heard it but thought it was funny: "Why should we keep gay people from being miserable too"

I love my wife but still thought it was funny.

-Stu

Sue said...

Yay, vote "no!".

Christine said...

Beautifully said! Thank you. I saw two older women with a bumper sticker that said, "Yes2marriage" and I thought how nice, what a lovely couple they are. Then I got home and went to the website and realized that they were just a couple of angry old women trying to inject their opinion into something that really should be of no concern to them. It sort of ruined that warm, fuzzy feeling that I had previously felt.

Anonymous said...

So I missed reading your blog yesterday so I am just commenting now. You know I was on the fence on this because frankly I could care less about gays and lesbians getting married. I do however get concerned about activist gays who will demand to be married by churches and then sue and seek to strip non-profit status for those who don't (it has already happened in other states by the way). I also care about textbook changes. I am tolerant and will teach my kids tolerance but I don't want gay marriage taught in schools (and I don't think teachers should be forced to teach it). California already has domestic partner benefits which esentially give all of the rights of gay marriage without changing the institution of marriage.

Jessie Evans said...

I'm a long-time reader (and lover!) of your blog. I totally appreciate you exercising your second amendment rights to freedom of speech, and I'll do the same. I know I'm in the minority here, but I so badly wish I lived in California so I could vote Yes on Prop. 8. I firmly believe that marriage between a man and woman is ordained of God and the formation of a family is central to the Creator's plan for His children.

http://www.preservingmarriage.org/

Michelle Hix said...

You rock!

oh, and O'neal...that was hilarious!

Kim said...

Very well put. Glad to have found your blog.

standing still said...

Tootsie. You. Rock.

Burgh Baby said...

Gawd I love you. Wanna get hitched? (Shh . . . don't tell Anglophile Football Fanatic)

WaltzInExile said...

Cannot resist....(apologizing in advance)...
AMEN.

sari said...

We have a similar issue here - it's 102 in Arizona.

Whenever I see a sign in someone's yard (which seems to be ALL THE TIME) I have an urge to steal out in the dark of night and collect all the signs. Or deface them. Which I'm sure isn't too grown up of a reaction, is it?

I don't dig the hate.

PS Yes, I saw the blaring boobies as well. I'm glad it wasn't just me.