Tuesday, October 28, 2008

It's Like Those I Spy Books Only Someone has to Clean This Up. And Soon.

With our weekends occupied by birthday parties, soccer games, and birthday parties; and our weekdays runneth over with school and homework, and dinners and baths, and homework, and shuttling, and soccer practice, and some more shuttling and a guitar lesson and a drum lesson and some etcetera... well, this has allowed for some surfaces in the Farklepants household to become catch-alls. For instance, the dining room table caught my purse, a movie poster, two lunch boxes, three backpacks, some homework, an iPod shuffle, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, one dictionary, a half full bottle of water, and various school related memos. The horror.

The island in the kitchen picked up four textbooks, a deck of Spiderman multiplication flashcards, a breast cancer awareness pink wrist band, a deck of go fish cards, two packs of 3x5 index cards, some glittery Hannah Montana shit that was given to Girl-Child by a friend of mine who is currently on notice for said glittery shit and the added insult of Hannah Montana, some cash, some gift cards, birthday cards, The Princess Bride, Legos, two coupons for two weeks free karate lessons, a white board and dry erase markers, and one construction paper candy corn man with accordion appendages. Plus mail.

Not to mention this little project for the master bedroom closet:


Seventy-five Half for me and twenty-five half for Mr. Farklepants is exactly still not nearly enough hangars.

And let us not forget the various home improvement projects that remain neglected unfinished and/or totally unstarted. Which include but are not limited to:

  1. Broken fence. You know, the one the dog can get through.
  2. Dead patch of grass in front yard. You know, the one the homeowners association has sent that second notice about.
  3. Sliding glass door repair. You know, the one that requires the strength of an adult to open - except my mom - she's not strong enough.
  4. Bathroom floor replacement. You know, who's the dummy who thought wood was a good idea in a bathroom?
  5. The boys' bedroom. You know, five years, unfinished drywall ...so...yeah.
Here's what I have to say about that: Can anyone recommend an affordable licensed handyman where affordable means - will work for ham sandwiches and beer?

33 comments:

Swirl Girl said...

I might just take the job with the state of things these days.

I am the master pile mover....

O'Neal (The woman in charge around here) said...

At first glance I thought, who broke into my house and photoed the evidence of my strike until someone fills in the over-sized van washing ruts on the front lawn 5 ft in front of the door? And then I realized it wasn't my house, because I have no cash OR gift cards left, and my new iPod shuffle I won from the rock'n Redneck Mommy hasn't arrived yet!

Maybe if you add that you will be serving those ham sammies & beer wearing Vicki's studded bra, or maybe not one at all, things will start getting done! It's worth a try! ;)

standing still said...

Two words: Angie's List.

dkuroiwa said...

Not that this will make anything better, but....I would feel so at home in your house! I recognize that table (not with the exact same stuff but...) and the school memos?? haHAhaHA...I'm seeing how long I can keep them~~somewhere~~ before I get phone calls from the school...if it's really important, they call...that pile is the least of my worries!!
Sandwiches and beer? I'm always better at cleaning other houses...hmmm...may think about that!

KD @ A Bit Squirrelly said...

My dad had some movers that drank beer for thier tip. Want me to see if they are available?

PS I love princess bride. Best. Movie. Evah.

PPS I hate I spy books. I can never find anything.

calicobebop said...

I'm available for weekend projects - but I prefer wine to beer. ;)

At least your clutter shows good taste - Princess Bride! EEEEEE!!!

Laura said...

When you find the drywall guy, send him to Kentucky. I've got a hole in the study since spring where we fixed a leak. And aren't kitchen counters the worst for collecting junk, stuff, and useless crap? There is a secret magnet in them!

Twenty Four At Heart said...

My house is a disaster & I will now blame it on all the birthdays becuz I think you're right!

Speaking of - I'm having a bday celebration for the rest of this week! TWO prizes a day, contests, & fun!

I'm celebrating my 24th bday AGAIN! I do every year! If you have a chance stop by & join in on ANOTHER birthday party!

littlepills said...

I'm impressed that even with your clutter you mentioned the water bottle was "half full". Way to keep perspective!

kate said...

I'm just glad I'm not the only one who's flat horizontal surfaces look like that. We had a weekend of sick, which is a lot like a weekend of birthday parties only without as much Hanna Montana crap (I shudder at the thought).

I've tried to be all FlyLady.net about the cleaning, but it really cuts into my Pathwords time on Facebook. Priorities you know!

MamaMo said...

I have two spots like that in my house - the corner of the kitchen island and MY ENTIRE BEDROOM!!!

barbra said...

that sounds SO familiar. eerily familiar.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Good luck--I despise being up to my ears in clutter, papers, crappe and to-do projects.

One Reader said...

add to that the top of one large dog cage covered in flotsam and you totally have my house too.

Sue said...

Oh Thank God, I don't have to keep you up on that pedestal anymore. We could so be real life friends, because our houses look the same! When you find your cheap handyman, could you send him/her to the east coast after?

Greta/Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat? said...

So wonderful to be somewhere where no one has to ask me, "Why do you keep batteries in the dining room curio?"

Uh...'cuz the junk drawer is full...duh ;)

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I have one place, and one place only in the house where piles are allowed. Anywhere else and it's anaphylactic shock for me.

Minnesota Matron said...

The husband! But he's currently on Assignment here at the Matron's.

mommy2twinkies-Deb said...

you're not alone! although all of mine crap is in my baskets!

thedailysnark said...

I'm in your 'hood and if you're serious we have THE BEST handydudes ever. E-mail me if you're interested!

Good luck with that stack of stuff. It takes over your life if you're not careful!

Amy said...

Those unfinished projects sound like my house! The master bedroom still has no trim or molding after the drywall was replaced and yet I think last weekend we some how decided we were going to be refinishing the wood floors! UUGGHH...

dorothy said...

I'll organize something for you! I'll take Halloween candy as payment.

MommyTime said...

How did you get into my locked house last night to take those photos??!? Except that my bathroom floors have already been replaced (by me) and it's the walls that need help, I would be quite sure you were describing my procrastination too. I don't know how to get on top of this. I've contemplated pretending we're moving and purging one room at a time as if we had to sell the place. I think that would work. If I can find the time.

Jennifer H said...

My daughter calls the island in the kitchen the "messy Mommy counter."

Her inheritance has been adjusted accordingly.

(Clutter is kicking my ass these days.)

Ray said...

Let's see... I couldn't find the shark, the hammer, and the vintage boot.

Those pics look like some of the hidden object computer games my kids love so much. Somehow, they don't buy it when I say, "Hey, look! That's just like your bedroom. Go hunt for stuff in there!!!"

Shana said...

I am so over the birthday parties. My kid is invited to parties for kids she hardly knows! And of course wants to go to every one of them because they are at Chuck E. Cheese or the ice rink or some other godforsaken child infested place. Not feeling the birthday love over here.

Jenny said...

THANK GOODNESS it's not just my house!! I was looking around this evening thinking, should I stay up and clean, or pretend it's not there and go blog instead... You know how that went. : )

Andy said...

You too? I feel so much less alone! ;)

Saucy said...

Same issues over here. Hanging wallpaper tomorrow... or the next day... maybe over the weekend. Or never.

Mama Wheaton said...

Wow that list of unfinished projects could be mine, including the second notices. I did accomplish cleaning off my kitchen counter but in all honesty it just went to my room, but hey the counter is still, well almost cleared off.

MelADramatic Mommy said...

Our laundry looks like your island.

JoeinVegas said...

Well, if you can get Mister and kids out of the house for a while, and promise not to wear that jeweled bra, I spackle for . um, OK, I (wait, did I just volunteer for something?)

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