Friday, August 15, 2008

On the Sunny Side: I Made Some Kick-Ass Snickerdoodles in Cooking Class

Tootsie: Did you notice I didn't post an entry yesterday?
Mr. Farklepants: Yeah, what gives? You know your son started jr. high.
Tootsie: I know.
Mr. Farklepants: Where's his entry? It's like you love the Girl more.

When I dropped Boy-Child#1 off for his first day of junior high and caught a glimpse of him in the rear view mirror, he seemed so small in front of that giant school. He was on his own, independent of me, to navigate this new territory. I was doing so well until that reflection of him showed itself in my mirror. Then came the waterworks.

You know what terrifies me the most? Me. Me when I was in junior high. I know what I did. It was the span of my life when everything my mother taught me and warned me against went right out the window. [I was really such a good girl before then]. It was when I got drunk for the first [and not last] time. It was when my first kiss happened. With tongue. Cigarettes were smoked. It's when I ignored Nancy Regan and didn't say no, and tried something that involved rolling papers. I occasionally smelled of bong water. I had my first experience with a bully; and a scary mean chick at that. Bitch was huge. And beefy. It was when I broke curfew even though it meant risking my Depeche Mode tickets. And possibly death.

Boys finally had muscles on their biceps. And deeper voices. And less [imagined] cooties. Then came things like birth control. And celebrating relationships by the months. Passing notes in class with promises of being 2gether4ever and promptly having your heart broken. There were cliques and groups and exclusion and inclusion. The angst so thick in the air it could be cut with a knife. Junior high was like a hormone festival with education on the side to break up all of the sex wanting.

There was a great deal of doing things you didn't really want to do but did them just so you'd be accepted. It almost didn't matter by whom so long as they included you. If there is one thing I can impress upon my children it's THAT. Don't do that. No one is going to like you because of what you do but rather because of who you are. Unfortunately, they don't believe you know what you're talking about. Because you just don't know MOoooOOM! Except, hello Dude! Yes way. Totally been there done that.

And Boy-Child#1's first day? He did great! No problems and he even, kind of sort of, understood his schedule that I spent the next two hours trying to decipher. The school has either made it so ridiculously complicated just to screw with the kids heads, or maybe, just maybe it's intentional so that they'll all be so worried about where they're supposed to be that there will be little time for getting into trouble. Or catching venereal disease.

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On a totally unrelated note, according to my Sitemeter, the following Google search directed a visitor to my blog. MY blog:

"perimenopause is making my vagina stink"

That is unfortunate. I'm sorry that I'm unable to assist you.

41 comments:

O'Neal (The woman in charge around here) said...

I'm half way to a panic attack over here thinking about when we start junior high! At least the whole locker thing is out of the way! (since when did 4th graders get lockers???) I was worried about him figuring out the combination part and he can't even reach the darn thing!

Wheres the Snickerdoodles? ;)

1blueshi1 said...

yes, bring on the fat and calories. and also the alcohol. surely we are not old enough to have boy children going into junior high???? must be one of those suspicious rifts in the space/time continuum that are trying to make us feel old. fuck that! pass the martinis!!! and don't forget those delicious snickerdoodles.

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

Excuse me. I have to go finish building my cryogenic freezing contraption for my children. I think I am developing a tick.

KEEP BELIEVNG

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Thanks. Now I have THAT to worry about!

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Birth control? In junior high? Really?

Thanks for the reminder of how, um, great junior high was...no wonder I've tried to block that all out.

Melissa said...

Yikes, can you imagine searching on that? Shessh!

Oliver Rain said...

Oh no, I am so not looking forward to my girl starting junior high.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Dear New Visitor:

It might NOT be perimenopause.

Just sayin'.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

Oh my...I hated middle school...and I too am sending my first born boy child there next week...I can't wait till he makes some snickerdoodles too!!

Jennifer H said...

Junior high? I don't have those years of insulation between my boy and high schoool?

Don't get me wrong, I've heard what kids are doing in junior high. I was just in denial. I have 3 years to go...

Snickerdoodles would help.

EatPlayLove said...

Gulp, I was naughty in jr. high. Thank goodness I have some time to nurture my daughter into believing chess club is soooo cool.

Texan Mama@WhoPutMeInCharge said...

Goodness, what kind of Junior High did YOU go to? I mean, all that you described kinda makes a person ask, what is there to look forward to in High School? Well, I think I speak for us all when I say I'm glad you made it through.

And by the way if you email me the name of that school I'll be sure to keep my kids out of that district. Thanks.

katydidnot said...

junior high. blech.

hooray that his first day was alright, and here's hoping for more unevently junior high days.

Undomestic Diva said...

I just recently had someone google "when I have my period, I like it in the ass" and found my blog. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I'm betting his Mama's experience will have taught her to be vigilant.

Four kids and not one problem in middle school/jr. high. They actually enjoyed it. So it is possible. You know the secret too--it is all about not feeling that you have to fit in at any cost.

Burgh Baby said...

If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm around. If you need a basement to lock the kid in, I've got one of those, too.

Ack. Growing up sucks.

Burgh Baby said...

Oh, and what were you 12 when he was born?

MamaMo said...

Last year I had the youngest start kindergarten and one start middle school. While I missed snuggling at home with a warm body, I was definitely more terrified about letting the other one start middle school. Luckily, I've been working the nerdy/scientist angle for a while, and she immediately got involved in things like "solar car club" and "global connections". Not that us nerds were any less inclined to the "dangers of jr. high", just seems like there were less "offers"!

Swirl Girl said...

did you go to Framingham North High, too? You did, and you were one of the popular pep squad girls, right?
You never knew me, I was a dorky wannabe popular girl who always had rolling papers and cigarettes in her purse...ready to share. heh-heh.

ALF said...

oh my God. That google search is freakin hysterical. That poor person.

Sounds like you lived it up in middle school. I was such a loser.

Schmutzie said...

You are being featured on Five Star Friday:
http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2008/08/five-star-friday-edition-19.html

Kristin said...

hahaha on the google search!
I am so scared for my kids to start middle school and high school someday. I wish they would just listen when we say we know what we did and we know what they are going to do. Its never that simple, none of us figure it out until we are older and parents ourselves. *sigh*....

mysecondjournal said...

My step son turned 9. Maybe I should talk to someone about keeping him there. I've heard the stories of his father..and he was worse then me..and I was bad. OMG how fricking scary.

I think I need chocolate now.

hulagirlatheart said...

We made it through junior high okay..and then came high school last year. I hold my breath every day, hoping my past doesn't come back to haunt me. Brrrr.

Laura said...

Ahhh, junior high! Remember what everyone wrote in your yearbook? "Stay the same, never change!" Thank God we don't stay the way we were in junior high! Glad you made it through okay, and your son will too.

JCK said...

It is your stuff. Your adolescence sounds like mine. And we don't want that for our children. Maybe, just maybe, because you are AWARE of what can happen...you can help their paths be different. I like to think so.

Waterworks...can't be helped.

And thank GOD that wasn't me writing about perimenopause. My perimenopause has no stink, but much fishnets.

Manager Mom said...

Oh my goodness. I am just about to send The Boy off to kindergarten. I am not emotionally prepared to think past THAT day, much less junior high. And, I think we went to the same school, by the way. Although I'm hoping that I'm not the big beefy bitch you're referring to.

All Adither said...

All that happened in Junior High. Wow, I guess I was a late bloomer.

Mekhismom said...

Oh my! I was with you and reminiscing all about my days of junior high and then - the end of your post. GROSS. You are so funny - I am glad that your son's first day of school went well.

Mekhismom said...

Oh my! I was with you and reminiscing all about my days of junior high and then - the end of your post. GROSS. You are so funny - I am glad that your son's first day of school went well.

pogonip said...

Thank heavens we're past middle school. Thank heavens it only lasted two years.

If I had to do it all over again, and if my kids weren't expert at sending my blood pressure into the stratosphere the instant they became teenagers, I'd home school.

Jason said...

Ew.

dkuroiwa said...

Oh...thank YOU for reminding me of junior high...and then I moved right on in to memories of high school....now, here I sit knowing that my oldest is a 5th grader and soon to join that "fun"....
now picture me...typing with my hands mentally over my ears and me yelling "LALALALLALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALALALA".

and...on that last part...what Jason said!!!

texasholly said...

Sitemeter is so smart to send them here.

OMG. I can't even consider sending my boys there...ever.

g said...

Oh, how true about junior high!!! Yikes!

The Mom Bomb, a/k/a Folksy Mama said...

I first got drunk when I was -- umm -- 20? Tongue-kissing? What is that?

Cue song: Goody-two-shoes, goody-goody two-shoes . . .

Redneck Mommy said...

My daughter is entering junior high this year.

I can't stop hyperventilating.

It took me more than a decade to get over the hell of junior high, I want her experience to be better.

But with less tongue kissing. And boob groping. Heh.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Junior High is the WORST!!! They should just abolish it. If there was ever a need for school uniforms and segregation of the sexes, it's in junior high! Ugh, I want to puke just thinking about it! And they shouldn't have P.E. in junior high either, that whole everybody comparing bra sizes, that is, if you even HAVE a bra! Or did they cut P.E. along with art and music?

Colleen said...

just thinking about Jr. High gave me a panic attack like the ones I had every freakin' morning before school started. And since poor Gavin seems to have my crippling shyness and sensitivities, I can't even imagine! arrrrgh!

as for the poor lady with the stinky vag? More yogurt, babe. More yogurt.

Patty said...

I am the luckiest person alive. Really. I was one of the flock following popular kids without the ability to say no. Somehow, I have raised two teenage girls who have no qualms about being straight A, sobor kids. My 17 year old has had a boyfriend for almost 3 months and still just gives him peck kisses! She informed my that "sex is for college" - rock on! Oh me oh my, oh me oh my, my kids rock.
So, there is hope for the even the most formerly corrupt of us.

Marmarbug said...

Oh god! Junior high!!! I tell ya. I did some CARAZY crap in junior high. Ah the memories.
Hopefully your child will do just fine and not subbcumb to peer pressure.
And um, the vagina deal? Who googles that???? I mean really? Go to a doc! LOL