Friday, August 22, 2008

When No One was Looking, Of Course


These are my free weights. There are many like them but these are mine. My free weights are my bingo arm's best friend.

Yesterday during a flickering moment of ambition I took my weights on a walk. A walk that involves many hills. When I reached the beginning of the first hill I doubted my decision to bring them along. But I soldiered through the pain radiating up my neck and nestling on the back of my head. Where nestle equals gripping. By the time I peaked the first hill my shoulders were hurling obscenities in my general direction.

When I finally crested the top of the second hill where the elementary school is located I did what any self respecting woman in her death throes would; I ditched them in the bushes and finished my walk. I reclaimed them at noon when I fetched Girl-Child. In my car.

This confirms my belief that I would have never made it out of boot camp. Alive.

28 comments:

O'Neal (The woman in charge around here) said...

Genius. PURE genius!

Helena said...

I have my own free weights too. They're under my bed. I look at them sometimes. That's it.

1blueshi1 said...

I keep one at work in my cubicle but my upper arms STILL flap embarrassingly as I wave my kindergartner off on the bus in the mornings!

hulagirlatheart said...

You know, a butter pecan shake in each hand during that walk would still give you resistance and not make your neck hurt.

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

Oh man! Did anyone see you do the walk of shame to reclaim your weights??

KEEP BELIEVIN

EatPlayLove said...

Ditching the weights in a bush, huh? Too funny! I don't think I would have been brave enough to leave the house with them in the first place.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

How much do they weigh?
What did girl-child say when you got out of your car to retrieve the hidden weights?

Burgh Baby said...

You could have ditched them in plain view, I do believe. No one would ever steal weights. That would be like running when you're not being chased. Silly.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

LOL...good for you...I would have kept going, cursing and vowing NEVER to do that again...

Melissa said...

Your a smart one. I would have just suffered. I have so much to learn from you1

MamaMo said...

Too funny!

The Glamorous Life said...

See? it is how you admit to stuff I wouldn't. And it is damn funny. DAMN funny.

smalltownmom said...

Thank goodness there was a convenient bush.

Allie said...

I wouldn't have made it through boot camp either. I'm over it.

JoeinVegas said...

The real question should be, why did you bother to recover them at all?
But I do like the shake idea.

mysecondjournal said...

:-)

LUV IT!!

Susie said...

That is exactly what I would have done, if I had bothered taking them walking with me in the first place!

Mocha said...

This is hilarious. It sounds like something I might do if I thought I could get away with it.

Amy said...

That is just too funny! Did anyone see you going to retrieve them when you picked Girl-Child up from school?

I don't know what I would have done if I saw you digging in bushes and coming out with weights!! LOL!!

Jason said...

I was up there for a meeting and I SAW YOU ditch those free weights! There's no such thing as privacy in this little town of ours.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

At least you tried!

katydidnot said...

you are so smart.

Swirl Girl said...

As I watched the Olympic women relay last night - I was a little giddy to see that even on their no body fat toned little bodies - they still gave their countries the Granny Clampett tricep jiggle.

I feel validated now.

Mr Farty said...

You went back and collected them? FFS, why?

Ah. The bingo arm. Fair enough. We have "bingo wings" in the UK too.

And when I say "we" I don't mean me.

Manager Mom said...

It says something about these little knobs of torture that nobody else bothered to steal them.

Mekhismom said...

Too funny! This sounds like something that I would do. At least you retrieved them -pain has been known to make people give up completely.

JCK said...

Probably a good move. Better than having to go to the chiropractor.

texasholly said...

I so wish there had been secret camera footage of this event. OMG. What would someone have thought if they happened upon them while you were gone! love it.