Tuesday, December 11, 2007

It's Cold in Here...Just Ask My Nipples!

Somewhere in the halls of science, a team of researchers gathered and after much consideration determined that the optimum temperature to keep a chain restaurant establishment is...3 degrees. This way, if the customers are hungry enough, they will brave the cold front, order, and eat as quickly as possible to make room for the next round of those willing to risk pneumonia and/or possibly losing a toe or three to frostbite. The only folks crazy enough to stay for dessert are the Eskimos. And possibly a penguin. Or polar bear. Or those who were wise to bring a parka. And snow shoes. "Would you like a margarita with your lunch?" "Why yes, that'd be greeeeeat. Please just use the ice that's formed on the table and save yourself the trip back to the bar". "Okay, can I get you anything else?" "Yeah, ski mask? And a straw?"

1 comment:

Karen said...

I have a sneaking suspicion that this is either because

a) the waiters like to see cold women (and hope they're wearing thin blouses)

b) their food will spoil quickly if it's not kept near frozen, even at the table. This being true, it's amazing that nobody has gotten food poisoning.