When I lovingly packed Mr. Farklepants' suitcase yesterday morning and sent him off with a resentful kiss to Las Vegas for an overnight business trip (use your own air quotes, I'll not provide them for you); I did so, while plotting my agenda for my evening alone
after the kids go to bed. A classic movie, perhaps with tap dancing and crooning was a possible activity. Maybe twice. Ice cream for dinner. Skip the leg shaving. Not on the list was wine because I don't drink when I'm home alone with the kids. Knowing my luck that would be the precise moment that they would need rushing to the hospital and one of my kidneys. "We can't use this ma'am". "Why? What's wrong with my kidney?". "It's drunk". So I settled for the thought of brewing a pot of coffee and it was at that time, 8:30pm, that I realized we were out of milk. And how fun is it to trot out the gang to the grocery store at that hour? Not as fun as Vegas, I wager. But does have its own version of sensory overload. You may argue that I could have waited until daylight but then you don't have to meet the business end of my morning attitude that hasn't seen a cup of coffee. With milk and sugar. So anyway. Big plans. And then I spent the better part of the 4 hours online. Contributing to my Computer Vision Syndrome. Also a contributing factor? Researching Computer Vision Syndrome by using a computer. Not exactly what the doctor ordered but let me be the bearer of what he does suggest:
"We should be blinking somewhere between 10 to 20 times a minute," said Dr. Yee.
People should also try warm compresses daily to help unblock oil glands in the eyelids and use artificial tears every 30 minutes.
"That seems frequent, but again if you're staring and not blinking, the tears that you naturally make don't spread across and there's going to be dry spots on your cornea," explains Dr. Yee.
Dr. Yee has also designed special and unique glasses that help protect against detrimental agents. For the low low price of $225. Which look suspiciously like goggles:
That you can pick up for about nine dollars. You're welcome. Now I'm off to adopt some children from a country thats name is pronounced: COUNTRY WHOSE NAME I CANNOT PRONOUNCE. Before the entire next generation, in every corner of the world, are named Jolie-Pitt. Then? I hear the Pontiff is stateside. He may want to kiss my ring.