Thursday, April 24, 2008

Then it Dropped and Gave Me Twenty

Yesterday was another day volunteering in Boy-Child#2's second grade class. Being the day before Open House I anticipated a heavy work load. Mrs. Second Grade did not disappoint. I had to trot myself over to the work room, located adjacent to the teacher's lounge, in the main building and manufacture 150 circles of red, yellow, and orange construction paper using the capital letter "O" on the die cast mechanism. She only needed the center of the "O" and not the "O" itself. I know, I know. You're wondering how I was able to manage this and me without my advanced degree. Remarkable. A couple of things that took place while I was busy being Queen of the "O" (that's right):

  1. Eavesdropped on yard duty politics. Apparently there is a pecking order (who knew?) and someone was on a power trip wearing her rude hat. Simmer down now, lady. It's yard duty.
  2. Another parent, also on construction paper detail, asked about Boy-Child#1's sixth grade teacher, "who does he have?", "do you like her?". I went on to gush about her because she's all that. A minute later, Mrs. Sixth Grade poked her head into the room and said, "I thought I heard my name!". I didn't even have to run down a mental check list to make sure I hadn't said anything that would require a giant glass of water to wash down my foot because I genuinely ADORE her and couldn't possibly have said anything bad. Had this been last year and the 5th grade teacher this would have gone in a completely different direction.
Then it was off to lunch in the cafeteria with Boy-Child#2. Since I was joining him for lunch I purchased trays for the two of us, instead of his traditional packed lunch. Apperently the students have to give the cashier their "number" in order to buy lunch. Since my son always brings his lunch he had no clue what his "number" was. She had to look it up on her computer and seemed rather put off by it. She also seemed to have trouble understanding that I was buying lunch for the both of us. Ah well. Boy-Child#2 enjoyed a microwaved hamburger (in a plastic bag?) and I worried down a cold slice of pepperoni pizza. And tater tots. With copious amounts of ketchup.

Something I discovered while sharing a table with several 8 year old boys: They talk more than girls. In rapid succession. At the same time. They're all trying to get their word in edge wise before someone else speaks but it is a futile attempt. No one hears anything the other is saying. Very amusing. And they move around. A lot. It was like trying to eat lunch on Amtrak. Very bouncy. I don't know how they ever meet up on the playground to play whatever game has been decided.

My water bottle was one of those new eco-friendly designs and I discovered a flaw. Because they use 30% less plastic (kudos!) it creates a design flaw (minor). The narrow part of the bottle is located too far south which causes bending because the top area is too heavy. So my bottle was very katywompus. Which the boys found hilarious. "Look at my bottle", I said. "LOOK AT IT!". So of course I gave my bottle a voice and entertained the troops: "What is your major malfunction, Private!", "I'm leaning, Sir!", "Why are you leaning, Private!", "I have a design flaw, Sir!". I know that two years from now this would humiliate my son to no end. But yesterday I was a rock star.

27 comments:

HRH said...

You are a rock star. That is too funny...the 30% less plastic does seem to cause me some issues in the "tips over in the minivan cup holder" department. Next time at least I will have a script to recite to amuse myself. Glad the O's came out OK...you had me worried there for a minute.

scargosun said...

Rock on! Politics in the school is fun when you are outside looking in. :) I got to do that because my mom was a teacher (retired). What did you do with all those other parts of the O's?

dorothy said...

They have computers in the cafeteria? WTF?

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Usually when moms at my kid's old elementary school would join their kids for lunch they would bring McDonalds. Some parents brought Mickey D's every day. Totally obnoxious!

Queen Goob said...

Mrs. Farklepants....I'm sure you R-O-C-K every day!

MommyTime said...

I see your comments on lots of blogs I love, so I finally ventured over here today. I am laughing out loud in a coffee shop now. "What's your major malfunction, Private?" *snort* I look forward to coming back often.

Kalynne Pudner said...

If you take all the actual O's left over from your center-cutting operation and put them in a zip lock bag, you could use a glue gun to attach it to your water bottle so that it stopped leaning. AND think of how environmentally friendly it would be to use the O waste in that way!

pam said...

You entertain me no end. Every day!! tx

Colleen said...

never noticed the leaning of the new eco-bottles...guess I should drink some more so that I can actually look at the bottle!

tammy said...

I love how easily entertained 2nd grade boys are. I hope your rock star status remains for the rest of the day!

ekbetsy said...

"Queen of the O" Hahahahha!

I hate those new eco-friendly bottles. I'm all about less plastic, but I'd really rather that my water doesn't slosh all over my hand because the bottle turned with the lid.

Angie said...

Maybe he'd even let you hold his hand in the parking lot or give him a kiss on the cheek before going back to class. for just a little longer anyway.

This is great.

KEEP BELIEVING

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

You are the funnest mom of all time. Could you be MY mom for a few days? Please?

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

You can come play rock star for me whenever you want to!

Madame Queen said...

I was going to say the same thing Burgh Baby's Mom said!!

EatPlayLove said...

Gosh, I could have used you when I was the ring leader of 5th grade in my former life. AAh, those lovely stories of delectable food and die-cut paper shapes. Don't miss it really!

Cheri said...

It sounds to me like your water bottle needs V!@gra@.

caution said...

I like the way my second grader kisses me good-bye after I've made a fool of myself in the school work-room by cutting crookedly and repeatedly jamming the photo copier. The teacher may have no intention of letting me work for him again, but my son still is proud of me, and that's good stuff.

Lisa Milton said...

I try to enjoy those moments with the crazy little kids while I can. Zack invited to lunch with him for my birthday, because that would be the most awesome thing ever.

Best part: He had told every little kid it was my birthday and boy, were they sincerely excited.

(Sorry about the sucky lunch part though. Rock on, Rock star mom.)

MamaGeek said...

Hellza yea! Embrace the rock star mom while you can!

g said...

Whoo! I think the hardest thing I ever did was volunteer in my son's class in grade school! \

good on you!

stephanie said...

You are absolutely fabulous, all the way. I hope you really did have them drop & give you 20...?

(I have also had issues with buying lunch from the computerized cafeteria people - one time cash is okay, then it's only cash if you have exact change, then it's no cash use your kid's account, then NO USING YOUR KID'S ACCOUNT. It's so not worth it).

Nora Bee said...

You are the cool mom! Cool!

Melissa said...

Isn't is nice to be a rock star every once in awhile! :)

JCK said...

Oh, we've got to eat up these ROCK STAR days...you'll probably continue to be a Rock Star well into middle school.

Karen said...

I greatly admire you for being so involved at the school. Me? I try to avoid being committed. My kids prefer that.

Jason said...

"They talk more than girls. In rapid succession. At the same time. They're all trying to get their word in edge wise before someone else speaks but it is a futile attempt. No one hears anything the other is saying. Very amusing. And they move around. A lot. It was like trying to eat lunch on Amtrak. Very bouncy."

Welcome to my life.