Wednesday, April 2, 2008

She had to Google the Proper Spelling of "Truancy"

Main Entry:
1tru·ant Listen to the pronunciation of 1truant
Pronunciation:
\ˈtrü-ənt\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English, vagabond, idler, from Anglo-French, of Celtic origin; akin to Old Irish trógán wretch, trúag wretched
Date:
14th century
: one who shirks duty; especially : one who stays out of school without permission

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To Whom it may Concern,

Please excuse Tootsie from abandoning her blog Tuesday, April 1st. She was absent due to the initial onset of cabin fever induced by Spring Break which began this week; causing her children to incite riots amongst each other, senseless bickering, and extreme boredom. As a veteran, she immediately recognized these symptoms. Monday afternoon, she felt it was in the best interest of her family's lives if she threw her children in the car, tossed some miscellaneous overnight gear willy-nilly into the back, and brought the motley crew and their chaos two hours north to her sister in law's house. Sister in law provides much needed comic relief for Tootsie. Plus wine. And empathy. Within 30 minutes of the Farklepants intrusion upon the extended family, this disruption occurred:



And Tootsie was instructed to please stop trying to tidy up. It was a futile act; which somewhere in the recesses of her mind [perhaps trapped in the Corpus Callosum or clinging to some basal ganglia ], Tootsie knew. So she begrudgingly obliged.

The spontaneous trip allowed Girl-Child and her 3 year old cousin to get their fix of one another. They are kindred spirits. BFF's. And are often jonesing for each other which is signaled by incessant whining from both parties. Sister in law and family live just far away enough that visiting if often postponed unnecessarily. Because, although it is far; it's not that far. This trip also gave Tootsie a chance to snuggle with her youngest niece, who was only 5 weeks old the last time she saw her. Now? She is 5 months and very munchable. Expect to see her featured in snappy packaging on your local toy store shelves this Christmas as the latest edition Cabbage Patch Doll. Because? Have you ever seen a baby that looked more like a Cabbage Patch Doll than this?...


I think not. It also gave Boy-Child#1 and his uncle the opportunity to converse via guitar riffs, although, with less Deliverance-ness; and Boy-Child#2 to demonstrate that he possesses the exact amount of energy as a shitzu puppy. He was not about to be one upped by that fluffy squeak toy.

So, please excuse Tootsie's neglect. She'd like to say with all sincerity that it won't happen again, but she won't because she would be lying. In fact, she reserves the right for future episodes in the next two weeks.

Yours Truly,
Tootsie's Blog Conscience

32 comments:

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

We forgive you.

Lisa Milton said...

Munchable cheeks? Nothing could be better and more worthy.

Glad you got aawwwaaayyyyyy

Allie said...

Consider yourself forgiven. You were most definitely missed, but even Tootsie is allowed a day off every once in a while.

Your niece is a cutie patootie.

Melissa said...

Definitely a Cabbage Patch kid. Sounds like you had a fun get away!!

Cheri said...

Woman, you are ON FIRE with FUNNY!!!

Love it!

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

You lucky girl!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

You are forgiven. This time.

calicobebop said...

Cheeks are already claimed? I'll take the baby legs. munch munch.

jennifer h said...

Those sweet cheeks. Yum.

All is forgiven. I considered a day off, also. Then caved after 12 hours. You're a better woman than I am.

JCK said...

You know, I was quite shocked over the whole matter. Oh well...you had a great excuse and the image you painted, delightful as always La Toots!

Lulu said...

She is a total Cabbage Patch Kid! And just a random fact, did you know that the Cabbage Patch Kid Hospital is only an hour away from me in Cleveland, Georgia? Gafaw.

laughingatchaos said...

Jealous you have family nearby for those "get me out of the house!" days...I have to duct tape the boys to a pole and if they're lucky I put food and water nearby. ; )

ALF said...

I am very jealous of your mini-getaway!

Madge said...

good for you for getting away. and a baby to munch on. bonus time.

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

Baby = simply too cute for words.

Mess = shit! How do you clean that up?

Joeprah said...

That baby is just like a Cabbage Patch for sure. A worthy cause for a day of if I ever saw one. That is one heck of a dirty room, looks like our girls rooms after a day with their friends...

Greta said...

Oh, would that my entire house did not look like that playroom right now. {sigh}

Crafty Mom said...

Sounds like you had a blast! Everyone needs a mini vacation every now and then :D

jenny gardiner said...

I love this blog. Found you through June Cleaver and I kept happening upon so many hilarious posts I'm getting NO work done, dammit! Love the Cabbage Patch baby--do hope grown-ups aren't pulling at her limbs in Toys R Us this December--she definitely looks best with arms intact.
And thank God for sisters-in-law to whom you can escape and find wine...
I love the disastrous bedroom scene---I remember those days all too well.
I honestly used a rake on more than one occasion to clean up my son's room, strewn as it was with legos and other small bits.

stu said...

You made the right choice. Otherwise your next post may have been from prison for doing something horrible (yet understandable) to your children.

-stu

caution said...

I wonder if you have an official doctor's note to validate your absence? Okay, okay. I'm just jealous. What a treat for you and your kids.

Minnesota Matron said...

Cabin fever sent the Matron to NYC. She understands and forgives, even as she pines in your absence.

OHmommy said...

LOL. GREAT post.

What is that shade of purple called, in your daughter's room? It is perfect!

BusyDad said...

I'll forgive you this time you trogan wretch. Just because the cabbage patch baby is indeed too cute for words.

Kalynne Pudner said...

I'm kind of glad, in a selfish way, that you missed one, because I'm able to get off my butt and shower that much sooner today. I've been seeing your comments all over the place but hadn't bothered to come by until now. And it's all so yummy I had to sit and sit and stuff myself.

MMMMH-mm! I'll be back for more.

apathy lounge said...

You're excused...but only if you take me with you next time to see that baby.

Angie said...

I have been neglecting my commenting. I can't keep up since we had a couple hiatuses ourselves last week during our own spring break.

Deliverance-NESS? Loved that!

KEEP BELIEVING

Bunny Bunster said...

You are forgiven, but only because you shared pictures of Cabbage Patch and her munchable cheeks!

Maremone said...

That room is a beautiful thing because it means they will not be coming out for awhile! Drink up!

Karen said...

Yeah for getting out of the house and breaking the spring fever!

HRH said...

All is forgiven because of that sweet baby's cheeks.

And that room...are you my SIL? I could swear that is my house.

Colleen said...

yes, your cutie niece definitely has a bit of the CPK quality. :)
It was recently decreed that Cooper was the new Gerber baby, but I think she may give us a run for our money.