Thursday, April 3, 2008

Senseo. I'll Give You a Hint: It's not a Ninja

Mr. Farklepants was raving about the best darned cup of coffee he's ever tasted when he arrived home from work one day last week. I was skeptical and, knowing him as well as I do, believed that it was the novelty of the single serving feature of the contraption rather than the beverage itself that had him so enamored. He then proceeded to pitch the coffee maker to me, and I in my usual way, begged off any more gadgets that will clutter up my valuable counter space. It's what I do. This is our thing. Imagine my complete expectation surprise when this arrived via courier:


The Senseo. Or, as Mr. Farklepants described it, "It's Senseosional". Yes, he did. And us without our house orchestra to provide the rimshot. But I am the Ed McMahon to his Johnny Carson (and sometimes vice versa) the following real life commentary took place:

Me: I can't believe you're brewing a cup of coffee all by yourself.
Him: I don't know what's weirder. Me doing it or you taking pictures of it. To blog about it.
Me: That's a lot of machine for just one cup of coffee.
Him: That's what she said.
Me: Who gets the first cup?
Him: You. Here, it's extra frothy.
Me: (requisite questions) Did you spit in this?
Him: Not this time.
Me: Was your penis instrumental in the creation of the frothiness?
Him: (seemingly unfazed) Not this time. (my comments no longer hold any shock value where he's concerned)

We enjoy our individually brewed coffees. And resume conversation:

Me: So, where are we going to store this thing?
Him: You're never going to use it are you?
Me: I don't even know how.
Him: I just demonstrated it for you. Twice.
Me: Oh. I wasn't paying attention.

40 comments:

Melissa said...

Quite a pair, you two. You're quite a pair! Happy brewing.

standing still said...

Most important question when man purchases something. Is it hardware? If yes, buy it. Now. And, if you can buy it on line? Bonus Man points.

Melissa said...

Me: Was your penis instrumental in the creation of the frothiness?

OMG, I would have drop to the floor laughing! I know a lot of people who swear by their Senseo....

Mr Lady said...

But was it GOOD?

jennie said...

my husbands been after one as well. we settled on a fancy shmancy (or at least more fancy shmancy than our last one) but he is obsessed with it now. i know it will wear off. oh, i like your shock value.

ALF said...

We have a multi-cup coffee maker and neither one of us drinks coffee.

Allie said...

That is totally a conversation that would happen in our house. Not necessarily about a coffee machine, but Andrew loves high tech gadgets (gotta love a nerdy man).

Why don't most men understand the concept of counter space, and needing it, and not having enough of it? Sheesh.

Nap Warden said...

So not a coffee drinker here:)

Stu said...

The lesson I have leaned is I should avoid anything frothy in your house that may have touched a penis.

So was the not-touched-by-a-penis coffee good?

Madge said...

do not let them go near the small appliances or gadgets. or big appliances. in fact, maybe they should be locked in the basement.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I just send my husband off to Starbucks. I'll let him know he should be asking the penis/frothiness question from now on.

Carrie Sue said...

Too funny! I've been thinking about getting one of those, now I'll definitely have to try it.

A Mom Two Boys said...

I'd be willing to try anything if it meant he'd make coffee...or any other household chore for that matter.

EatPlayLove said...

I fell into one of these machines for free, don't ask. I sold it on craigslist to some geeky computer guy.

I am a tea girl, and my hubby consumes a POT of coffee in the morning, so that's why we let it go. Maybe we should have tried it....

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Was it good for you?

Angie said...

I must be getting old, because I would enjoy a hot frothy cup of good coffe to a hot frothy penis anytime these days.

KEEP BELIEVING

jennifer h said...

If I bought that, it would pay for itself in Starbucks savings.

Plus the frothiness. Does it come with a witty banter booklet?

stephanie said...

Suddenly I crave a cup of coffee & my husband. For his witty banter of course.

that chick said...

i tried a sample from a senseo at an in-store demonstration, but i like my coffee better. we buy fancy-ass coffee that almost makes us believe in god (but not quite) and it's worth it.
thus saith the coffee snob

All Adither said...

I just got one of these. I'm a bit preoccupied with it. But it's basically just a fancy Black and Decker one cup-brewer. I make my own pods with Mr. Coffee filters, a 1/3 measuring cup and a tamper downer. It's pretty good.

Angie (from AllAdither.com)

Karen said...

You guys crack me up. Do penises normally get involved in food at your house?

Steph said...

Umm I bet that makes one hell of a cup of coffee! I am new to your blog, I like it so I will be sure to add it to my reader. So I will be back! :)

MadWoman said...

Does it have added "oomph" if his penis is involved in the making?

I honestly think my hubby would have died laughing if I had said something like that to him.

Found you through DGM. Love it. Bookmarked!

Shania said...

My coffee maker just died (sad face), and I've been subsisting on Dunkin Donuts coffee. Hopefully, the coffee fairies will replace it soon.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

The coffee was actually a little strong for my taste. I mean, it was good, but I prefer my Folgers.

There were pauses between the witty banter but it didn't flow well that way. We don't usually converse in rapid fire succession like a Law and Order episode.

And a big welcome to the new faces!!

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

The penis comment made me laugh to the point that my hubby just shook his head at my internet addiction.

And, you didn't say: How'd it taste?

HRH said...

OK, now when I use my Senseo I will be imagining your husband's penis?

FYI--if it was too strong use only one pod and hit the 2 cup button. Then you get a NORMAL size cup of coffee...

Jenny said...

Here via Dad Gone Mad and am laughing out loud!! Love your stuff.

Was wondering about Senseo and now must have one. It being Senseotional and all.

The Introvert said...

One cup at a time seems terribly inefficient to me. But I'm not a coffee drinker, so maybe I just don't get it. If my husband made frothy coffee, I wouldn't even need to ask that questions.

Cheri said...

Oh. My. Gawd.

You two need your own sitcom.

jenny gardiner said...

I think your readers should organize a fund drive to send you enough money to hire your very own house orchestra, what with that penis gag. I did a spit take that would make Johnny Carson proud when I read that.

And as I read this...penis...gag...spit...
Freudian, all of it ;-)

Groovy Mom said...

Ouch! I'm thinking if his penis was involved it would have gotten burned. lol

JCK said...

The penis frothiness is something I will be pondering for some time...

Just loved that witty exchange. You should take Mr. Farklepants out on the road with you.

Anonymous said...

Just to clear something up. I got that damn thing for free.... well kinda... I filled out some survey on the Senseo website and at the end I got a "congratulations!" page informing me that I had qualified for a "free" Senseo. When I went to claim my "free" Senseo I was prompted for my credit card information because while the coffee maker was free, the shipping was not. So I paid $15. Still, not bad.

I answered all the survey questions in such a way that it would seem I would be influential in getting others to buy one. I lied of course but this blog entry now makes up for it.

What my lovely wife is not telling you all is that I do not know how to make my own coffee. I do not know where the filters are, I do not know how much coffee to put in the filter after I find them. I do not know how much water to put in the water thingy (you fill it to like 8 cups, and only 2 come back out. obviously there is some evaporation going on or something but where, i don't know). On top of that I do not even know how much sugar and milk to put in the cup since tootsie does it. (You should have seen the look on the face of our office assistant at work when I told her that one). So next time Tootsie is away and I have to fend for myself I will at least be able to make my own coffee. It still won't have just the right amount of sugar and cream but at least I'll have coffee.

And for the record, I did use my penis.

Buford Betty said...

Hahhahahhaha! We have one too. I love it. And my husband doesn't know how to work it.

Colleen said...

I wasn't thinking "ninja" so much as "Karate Kid".

I'm impressed that Mr. F can put his penis into blazing hot coffee.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

GASP! An extremely rare blog appearance by Mr. Farklepants! Does this mean you're finally reading it?

xoxo

Anonymous said...

Yep... I read most of it... I am even checking comments from my fantasy baseball draft.

Did you notice I used the Senseo this morning since you were AWOL?

Tootsie Farklepants said...

I did. You're such a big boy!

And, dude, you need a cooler name than "anonymous". For reals.

standing still said...

I recommend that since he makes coffee with his penis, you call him, "A real man who makes coffee with his penis." I guarantee you'll get alot of hits from that google search.