Kinda Looking Forward to Menopause and Rejecting Hormone Therapy. Family Beware.

I was watching The Simpsons with the family the other night. It was the episode in which Marge is pushed to her limits as a mother and wife by feeling under appreciated and the things she does taken for granted. The final straw was when Maggie spilled her bottle of milk all over the inside of the car and Marge snaps; bringing the car to a complete stop on the bridge and turning off the engine. When a bus driver approaches her car window, she growls at him; spittle flying. And I thought, "This is based on a true story. Mine". Because that is how I sometimes feel. I keep this house and family functioning like a well oiled machine. Trying to stay two steps ahead, making sure there isn't a break down in the system, is a lot of work. I know I'm preaching to the choir but there are kids to be fed and bathed. Clothes to be washed or replaced. Keeping tabs on toilet paper restocking, pantry preparedness, food preparation, food cooking, cleaner upper after meals, lunch packing, shampoo supply, school supplies, dry cleaning coordination, birthday parties, birthday gifts, kisser of boo-boos, keeping with the kids schedules, safety monitor and referee, coordinating drop off and pick up, clean sports uniforms, beds to be made, floors to be washed, toilets to be scrubbed, eradicating ring around the tub, dog hair removal, small toy corralling, finder of lost things, social calender keeper, master of the itinerary, suitcase packing, suitcase supply gatherer, haircut appointment maker (hell, ALL appointments), immunization shot tab keeper, thwarter of trash raiding dog, miscellaneous pet needs, copious document filler outer-er, vomit handler... And that is the incomplete list. And if I don't keep up with it, things come unraveled. Running out of toilet paper when one is mid-wipe will ruin your day. Finding you don't have all the ingredients to prepare the dinner you've already started to cook will make for an interesting menu. Dog eats your underpants.And so forth. The catastrophes are endless.

I try not to complain about it because this is the life I've chosen, It IS fulfilling, and my husband provides a comfortable life for us (which I should probably thank him for more often *literally people* get your minds out of the gutter and if he's reading this: THANKS HONEY!). Every once in a while it would be nice to hear "thank you" without any "buts" attached (i.e. "thanks for packing a lovely lunch, Mom, but I don't really like the way the honey soaks into the PB and honey sandwich by lunchtime what are the other options for someone like me who won't eat anything else?" OR "I couldn't check out a new book in the school library because you didn't put the old book in my backpack, MOM"). I'd like to think that my services and actions are appreciated rather than simply expected. Marge from The Simpsons ended up taking a spa weekend away, while the family attempted to soldier on without her. Every time I contemplate taking a weekend away just for myself, I start to tally all of the extra work I'll have to do upon my return and resolve that it just may not be worth it. While searching Youtube for a clip of the aforementioned Simpsons episode, I came across this and I was all, Dude that's it! (it's 3 minutes long but worth it):



And I'm not even kidding, while I was composing this entry yesterday afternoon, Boy-Child#1 appeared in the office. I asked him if he needed the computer and he said, "no, just wondering when you're going to make lunch". And at that precise moment, my daughter announced that her ass needed wiping because it "was a messy one". Then I snorted a can of Ajax. Verdict: bleachy.

*And a shout out to moms and/or dads who do all of the above and hold down a job too*