Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I Must Confess...It's Tuesday #9

Don't let my new coffee table distract you from the real purpose of this post.

And that is, that my hairdresser is currently on materinity leave. Yes, we're all very excited**... new baby... ooohhh, ahhhh... it's a girl!! But enough about the miracle of birth; let's talk about me. More specifically, my hair. I have been cursed? blessed with quick growing hair. I'm ready every four weeks for some maintenance [which includes foils containing highlights, two separate colors for lowlights, and an all over semi-permanent color; i.e. a hell of a lot of work]. Six weeks is stretching it. After that? I deserve a recurring role on My Name is Earl. I'm very loyal to my hairdressers. I've only had three my entire adult life, and the first two relationships ended for reasons beyond my control. I made a vow to my current one that I wouldn't allow anyone else to touch my head until she got her sea legs back. But I didn't say that I wouldn't totally fuck up my hair all by myself! Which brings me to this frightening turn of events:




You'll be happy to learn that the roots took really well. The highlights did not. Apparently chemistry 101 and I have not been formally introduced. However, the part of my brain where my rudimentary knowledge is stored, was vaguely aware and flat out ignored this information. Why dark blonde, you wonder, when I wear it so obviously very blonde? Because, there was that one time? About ten years ago, when hairdresser #1 and I were cruelly separated? And in my desperation I consulted a box of very light blonde? And the final results produced very yellow hair. Fool me once, shame on Miss Clairol; fool me twice, that's my bad. That's the first reason. The second reason is that for the last year I've been showing a picture of Gisele Bundchen to my hairdresser and asking her to please make me look like that. And she thinks to herself, "that would require some very pricey plastic surgery and a strict diet, oh, and other genes". Or, she thinks Gisele Bundchen is Heather Locklear. Because I usually come out resembling the latter. On my own, I've achieved nothing more than spotty coloring. In six weeks my hairdresser will be actively slitting my throat.

**I really am excited for her!! Don't let my snarkiness fool you.

Updated to add requested pictures. You know what's hard? Taking your own picture. They are very MySpace-like. Wanna know what else, else? Taking your own picture produces unattractive extreme close ups. This was the best I could do and unfortunately, it isn't capturing the true color and actually look kinda good. Think: drab.

33 comments:

Angie said...

The second post I have read today that confirms I WILL NOT HIGHLIGHT MY HAIR until the grays migrate and become squatters. TOO DAMN MUCH WORK! I am a low maintenance, low cost hair girl. Every 4 weeks??? You have got to be kidding???

KEEP BELIEVING

laughingatchaos said...

I want your coffee table...badly. Actually, I just want grownup furniture. ; )
And there's no way your hair looks worse than mine did in high school, when I just wanted a bit of a reddish color, and ended up with bright red/orange/purple. I looked like a colorblind elderly woman with no family to tell her how bad she looked. ;)

Lisa Milton said...

I'm looking for the picture. Where's your Gisele photoshoot?

I'll check back later.

stu said...

In college (poor) I used to color Stephanie's hair and did a good job. It was not until she wanted highlights that I was kicked off of Operation Hide The Gray.

-Stu

Allie said...

I love that you have such a close relationship with your hair dresser. I had the same one for over 10 years and I loved her because she knew exactly what I wanted ALWAYS. The last time we called to make an appointment with her the salon said, "Oh I'm sorry she moved to Colorado." WTF. She left with out saying good bye and we had no one to cut our hair. It was devastating. It took me a long time to find someone new that I trusted cutting my hair, but I finally found her and she has been one of my good friends for a long time. Yay!
When I called early last week to make an appointment with her she told me she couldn't get me in until April 1st. I was very disappointed because once I have decided I need a new hair cut (which is about ever 4-6 weeks) I want it now not in two weeks, but I will wait for her. I will complain, but I will wait.

Madame Queen said...

Pictures. We NEED pictures.

I have fairly dark brown hair that I have been coloring on my own for some time now. It's pretty hard to screw up brown. BUT, last year I decided that I wanted to just a leetle lighter and bought some hair color that was specifically designed to take brunettes lighter (it said so right on the box!). It.Was.Awful. Roots galore, by the very next day. Never, never again will I be tempted by the blonde side.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I would never attempt to do my own hair color--I would buy a cute hat and wear it until my hairdresser was able to handle this delicate task herself. Luckily, my hairdresser is a man so I'm thinking the having a baby thing won't be a problem!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

But how can I not be distracted by the coffee table when I love it so much? I really love it a lot. I must own a twin just as soon as I own a bigger house. Right now we're using a pile of toys as a coffee table. It's quite gorgeous.

Anyhoo, enough about me. Where are the pictures of YOU? We need to see this hair emergency if we are to help you figure out how to fix it!

Allison said...

c'mon, you left us hanging here! we must have a picture of the new hair!! :)

be brave...

(and I totally agree that once you find a hairdresser you trust, you must commit to them! i have been known to drive across states for a good stylist.)

jennifer h said...

I am sympatico, sister, though I usually tough it out for 6 weeks. Foils, highlights, lowlights, all of it.

And my regular stylist is on maternity leave. (Yes, I just called to see if she's back yet. She's not.) Fortunately, she left me in capable hands with another excellent stylist, so I'm happy. For now. But any day now, if she'd like to stop bonding with that baby and turn her attention to the really important people--her clients, duh--I'd appreciate it.

jennifer h said...

simpatico, even. Geez.

ALF said...

Your hairdresser had a girl? Everyone I know is having girls. Where are all the boys?!?

You have nice hair. I'm totally jealous.

OHmommy said...

The talent you have my friend is awesome. You could start some businesses.

You could do hair cause your hair is fab.

or

You could start decorating cause that table is super.

or

You could start taking pictures for Myspace cause you rock that last picture!

Greta said...

Ok, but WTF is hanging over your right shoulder? There is something hanging there right? It's not the 'shrooms I ate at lunch, I hope.

Groovy Mom said...

I have coloring and highlighting my hair down to a science or an art (almost) but I have to do it every 4 weeks, and I think my process is a little hard on my hair because allover color and then highlights every four weeks is a lot. BUT I just discovered I can touch up the roots at my sides and part where the gray shows and get away with another 3 or 4 weeks.

If I could afford to have someone do it for me I would pay in a heartbeat. Doing it at home is a pain.

Yours looks great!

Colleen said...

Actually the color doesn't look too bad--I've done a LOT worse. I was more worried because at first I thought that was a wine bottle next to your box of haircolor, which might explain any troubles. But upon closer inspection, realized it is a bottle of moisturizer.

Nap Warden said...

Girl, I think it looks good! If I even thought about attempting highlights on my own, my hair would fall out in protest:)

Melissa said...

You look fine. Truly. And she'll be back to cut and color your hair soon. Or hats will soon be the fashion, right? Perhaps a nice peasant scarf over your head and shoulders.
In any event, I LOVE your coffee table.

Melissa said...

Nice table!

Will you smack me if I say I love your new color. Even if you do say its spotty? ;)

Mr Lady said...

ARE YOU MAD, woman? Never box color. (she says as she sits with awful mousy hair waiting for her own box color to fade enough for a salon fix)

That said, it looks great, I think. Because my opinion matters, right? :)

Oh, and when you wake up in the morning minus one shiny new coffee table, it was just me. I'll leave cookies on a tv tray in its place, I swear.

Fannie Mae said...

My hair dresser is having a baby in June. The first thing I said was "Congratulations", the second was "but what about my hair?". I'm supportive that way.

Maremone said...

I think one of the requirements for being a hairdresser should be they take an oath baby-free-acy. You know, like monks and celibacy. I've only had one hairdresser EVER that I actually returned to and then wanted to become a blood sister with. Then, three months later she's gone....all knocked up and no dye for me!

I'm so glad you posted this. I've been totally eyeing the hair dye at Albertsons. Whew! Close call

Karen said...

The extend of my hairdressing skills include shampoo and blow dry. Most days I can manage not to mess that up. I am super impressed with not only your skillz but your gorgeous hair.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Thanks!! I love my coffee table too! It has so many drawers for hiding the crap that used to pile up on the old one. It met all the criteria. My only complaint, that I noticed by the end of the first day we had it, is that because of the dark color dust shows up immediately.

To clear up one misconception: I didn't highlight my own hair. The box color did not cover the existing highlights..they just bled through in some areas.

greta~ there's nothing there. jk, it's a balloon from my sister's birthday. LOL!

mr lady~ If my table goes missing I will find you.

maremone~ I really deliberated on the color choice. I was trying to avoid too much "gold". My hair likes to suck up that color, even when I go professional. But this is just drab.

ohmommy~ I took like 10 different photos and that was the best one. The others were quite comical!

Minnesota Matron said...

You are my hero. Hair dye scares me. I have NO gray and have never ever dyed my hair, but the nanosecond I see a gray or two, I amso on that bottle. Hope your hairdresser has a short maternity leave (for your sake). Great hair!

standing still said...

I adore your loyalty to your colorist. I have the same thing, except mine only has a teenage stepson and several dogs. I paid for the IUD myself.

Second, if that's drab ... I'M on the cover of Sports Illustrated. You look fantastic. And, I'm definitely not on the cover ... just one of the inside shots.

Cheri said...

The coffee table totally distracted me . . . I really need it for MY living room. Please?

Your hair is hot! Hot Mama Blogger Hair.

JCK said...

The box O'Color is always a toss up, but you did well! Nothing looks drastic and when you tackle your hairdresser outside her home while she is walking her infant in the stroller and DEMAND that she return to YOUR hair, but that you are OH SO excited for her on the birth of her babe....well, she'll fix it all up for you!

www.restlesshousewife.com said...

Nice work! How much do you charge?

All Adither said...

Oh, but you have really pretty hair. I covet your hair.

Angie (from AllAdither.com)

HRH said...

Nice coffeetable.

jennifer h said...

And now I'm going to take your pictures to my stylist, since I want it to look like that when I'm done growing it back. (just a few more inches to go...there was a misguided experience with a bob a few months ago.)

Lulu said...

Tootsie - your hair looks great! If mine looked like that out of a box, I would save the $22,300 a year that I pay to employ my hairdresser. Okay, it's not that much, but it sure seems like it!

And regarding hairdressers and pregnancy, I have lost 2 of my most favorite hairdressers to pregnancy. How dare they quit there jobs to become mothers.