Saturday, December 1, 2007

Forecast: Slightly Damp With a Chance of Spontaneous Combustion

Sigh...I had planned on doing some Christmas shopping yesterday morning. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are my only mornings that are child-free; and subsequently, it is my valued "me-time". But I didn't venture out. Wanna know why? Because there was water coming out of the sky and wet stuff on the ground. It's an unusual sight to see here in Southern California but I think I've heard it referred to as "rain". I don't know if you know this about native Southern Californians, but unless it involves soap or a bathing suit; we don't like to get wet. And just an FYI, we don't appreciate being splashed unexpectedly nor do we like having a hose turned on us. We believe that it causes us to melt, or worse(?), large chunks of flesh to fall off our bodies. We won't leave the house unless we can get from point A to point B and remain dry as a bone. We can never find our umbrellas because they are so seldom used that we forget where we stored them. And plus? It's not raining hard enough to clean the dirt off my car. It will just cause spotting. My car is white and dirty polka-dots is an unfortunate look.

We can appreciate rain and you will often hear us acknowledge how much we need it. But we like to watch it through a window. And if it lasts longer than a day we will complain endlessly about it. And can also be accurately diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder; like those folks in Alaska and all their days of darkness, using artificial light therapy.

And another also, contrary to popular belief; native Southern Californians can drive in the rain. It is the transplants from rural parts of the country (and unless you come from a city with a population just under 10 million, you come from a rural location) who become unsure and nervous when they find themselves navigating traffic on the 405, in the rain. Just sayin'...

5 comments:

Mrs. G. said...

Don't ever move to Seattle or you will end up a walking skeleton. If you stayed in when it rained, you would never go out. Stay dry.

April said...

LOL - I live in L.A., too, and enjoyed watching everyone freak about the rain! Interesting theory on it being the transplants who can't drive in the rain. I'll have to keep my eye out next time it rains. I'll get back to you in Feb.!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

mrs. g ~ I have some relatives that used to live in OR and would tell me they could count the days it DIDN'T rain. I knew I wouldn't be moving there anytime soon. :)

april~ This became my theory when it seemed that nearly every person I've met over the years, that are here in L.A., are from somewhere else. Yes, see you in Feb. after the mudslides.

Chester The Bear said...

...contrary to popular belief; native Southern Californians can drive in the rain.

No you can't. You just THINK you can. You'll still be doing 75mph down the 405 at 6pm on a Friday, in eight unrelenting lanes of traffic.

It's a miracle that, after each shower, there are still nearly as many Southern Californians.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

75mph? At 6pm? On the 405? And on a FRIDAY? Not even remotely possible.